Posts Tagged 'Zelda'



In our house, we tape things to you so you’ll remember

Steve forgot to throw out the TP roll.  Yes, he changed it.  Then he put the empty tube beside the toilet.  So I shamed him.  Can you tell how happy he was about it?  I certainly laughed for a good five minutes!

I’m gonna try and shape up with the posting.  It’s hard to believe how much less I post when I have a job that makes me do WORK!

Also?  Zelda now has taken up “air humping” by herself.  It’s hilarious and very disturbing.

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Celebrity Dogs!

What celebrity would your pet be? I'm Johnny Knoxville! Find out at Dogster.com
So true, Winston, so true.

What celebrity would your pet be? I'm Oprah! Find out at Dogster.com
I like that Zelda ended up as Oprah, and so did her big sister, Miko!

Dear pretty much all at-home wax kits

You kill me.  I attempted three different kinds of you, and managed to make my poor armpits BLEED, and guess what?  You didn’t take any effing hair off of my pits.  DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO WALK AROUND WITH HAIRY ARMPITS?!  Agh.

Maybe I should get a proffessional in here to deal with my pits.  I really thought I could just take care of it myself, because there’s only like ten hairs per pit, but no!  I bleed, I try many kits, and the hair remains!  Oh trusty razor, you will never let me down.

I attempted the legs as well, and that went OKAY.  Not great, but okay.  Maybe waxing my own body isn’t my thing?

Also, one of the dogs peed ON THE COUCH.  AGAIN.  What the shit, dogs?!  Looks like I might have to get a scat mat or something.  I bought them some new toys, including a new busy buddy, but no!  They peed on the sofa a little bit when Steve and I went to Costco on an over-sized adventure.  Which, by the way?  Costco is amazing.

The Smell of a Pug in the Spring

I like the way you folks think. I am thinking that Winsotn and Zelda are maybe just trying to say, “Hey, quit leaving your clothes all over the house!” and since dogs don’t speak english, they pee on stuff. I just need to get a nice steam cleaner and let it do the work! Then we’ll be pee free!
No one has peed in the bed recently, myself included, so the sheets can breathe a sigh of relief. I’m glad I nipped that one before it got out of hand, because that was pretty much the reason we had to get rid of Bella a few years ago, and frankly, there’s just no way that I am giving any animals up. How could I?! Impossible.
In hobo news, Steve was waiting for me outside my work the other day and a hobo asked him if he’d like to see his “bum.” Now I’m thinking, hey, that guy IS a bum, but I wonder what exactly that guy was thinking when he asked Steve if he’d like to have a gander at his ass. Maybe he thought it would start a sexy situation, because you know there’s nothing sexier than an unwashed bottom. Especially an unwashed, un-toilet-papered bottom! Check THIS out!
May I also announced that there are bloomed flowers out here?! WTF! I am not used to this. Flowers, green grass, birds. It’s like I’m living in a Mary Poppins type world. With smelly hobos who like to use their asses as invitations. Amazing.
I am also doing better on the medication today. Though I find I get daily headaches. Does this happen to anyone else? I found I had to do this on Effexor as well, so I’m not surprised, but I read the other day that it’s bad for your liver if you take an ibpruofin every day. MY POOR LIVER! I don’t really drink, so I assume my liver is pretty strong. It can bench press a Golden Girl, FYI. I didn’t know that ibpruofin could actually hurt your liver though. I mean, everything in moderation, right, but I find I need to take at least one ibuprofen every other day at least, and I don’t want to kill the ‘ol liver with medicine.

It’s snowing meds!

Ah, the doctor was actually much better this time.  So now after many weeks of headaches and overall spacey-ness, I am on Cyprolex.  At least, I think that’s how you spell it.  The doctor was nice enough to not plow me with a year’s worth of perscriptions so that I didn’t have to pay a dispensing fee, but damn, keeping your brain healthy is EXPENSIVE!!!
I also had a long talk with the pharmacist about going completely off Effexor, and onto this other stuff, and I’ve got a pretty good program in place now to get me off Effexor while going onto Cyprolex.  So, today on this new stuff I am feeling sort of the same as with Effexor, but in all reality it’s going to take a week for things to start taking effect.
Speaking of effects, it’s always my favourite thing to read off all the “possible side effects” when I get new medication.  My favourite from this new one is “black, tarry stools.”  That is so far beyond the safety zone of anal leakage I don’t even know what to do with myself.  Plus, wouldn’t it be bad enough to experience one of those, say, a tarry stool, let alone the combination of basically shitting asphalt!  Maybe I can pave someone’s driveway and make some extra cash.  *TURN YOUR SYMPTOMS INTO COLD HARD CASH!!!*
I also enjoy when the information packet says “if you experience unusually long-lasting erections, please consult a physician.”  I just want to walk into the pharmacy and explain that I’ve never had an erection before, but damn, this erection I got is lasting for hours!  Maybe I’ll put a banana in my pants, too.  Just for good measure.
Oh yes, and I also have a theory about Zelda’s little piddle party.  She’s done this once before, but I figured something out: she has only peed like that when Steve has slept on the couch.  Now, before you start thinking “ooooh, trouble in paradise!” I have to tell you that Steve is sick again, and was feeling like he was going to puke, and since puke is my ALL-TIME LEAST FAVOURITE THING, he was nice enough to just sleep on the couch so that if he barfed, he didn’t barf near me.  He had to do this a few months ago too, and I’ll be damned if Zelda didn’t pee right in the same spot.  Anyhow, from this, I concluded that Zelda thinks of Steve as her mate, and she gets pissed when he doesn’t come to bed because we all go to bed at the same time, so she thinks I have kicked Steve out of bed, gets mad at me, and pees on my side of the bed.  Eh, eh????  Yes, I think she’s that smart.  And that vindictive!  She is a smart little pooch, so I think she’s actually got a serious thought process around peeing in the same spot on the bed.
In other news, IT IS SNOWING IN VANCOUVER RIGHT NOW!  WTF?!  I move from Calgary to escape the snow, and it follows me!!!!

Really. Big. Tongue.

Is anyone else’s dog’s tongue this big?!  Holy crap.

I don’t know if you knew this

but Giggs has a LAZER EYE. 


October 2019
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