Well, I didn’t want to cry over any commercials yesterday, so maybe the medication is starting to work? No no, wait, it’s because I had a dog trainer/whisperer come to my apartment yesterday to help me with my little troublemakers! She was rather delightful, and managed to Cesar Milan the hell out of my dogs.
It was like watching a movie watching this lady show me what to do.
“Whose dogs are these?! These can’t be my dogs! They are behaving SO WELL!”
And you know how people on those dog “help me” shows always look like they feel like terrible people (well, most of the time)? Yeah, I was thinking I AM A TERRIBLE DOG MOMMA! while she’s telling me what I need to do to help them. I know I’m not a bad pug momma here in the real world, but when you have a certified dog trainer prancing your dogs around like they should have been cast in Best In Show, you start to feel a little bad.
I would really do anything to help them be happier, healthier pups, and this woman charged a very reasonable, dare I say LOW fee considering the help I got. Also consider that another company said they would have to charge me $1100 total for both dogs. Excuse me while I shit a brick and then use that brick to break into a bank so that I can pay these people. Then watch me hand a MUCH MORE REASONABLE $75 to this woman that came to my apartment last night. HELLO?! PRICE DIFFERENCE?! If that’s not an example of the Free Market at work, I don’t know what is. Can you imagine that there is no regulation on pricing? Someone out there is paying THOUSANDS of dollars when I am paying $75?! Good thing I shopped around!
And don’t forget the very generous tip I gave to this woman of a full pug’s worth of hair all over her clothing! She’ll be able to build her very own pug! I am so generous.
I didn’t want to cry I was so happy about her helping me, however, I did want to give her a kiss on the mouth because seriously? It was so nice to have someone come and see me in my environment and be able to examine how the dogs are in their home. I think the training worked a lot better because they were nice a comfortable as well.
I guess the only surprise that came wasn’t even mine, it was the dog trainer’s, when she noticed that both of my dogs like to stand on the coffee table. And the side tables. And window ledges. Hey, Winston happened to learn that from our cat and then passed it onto Zelda, I can’t help it! She saw one of them on one of our side tables and was like, “Well that’s new!” Yes, they enjoy taking the place of coffee table books. What of it?! Okay, they shouldn’t be allowed to do it, but I just think it’s really funny when they do, because they sort of look confused as to how they even got there, and how they’re going to get down without wiping out. Don’t worry, they never wipe out (just in case you were going to call Animal Control). I do enjoy the quizzical look they give though.
“WHA? HOW DID I GET HERE? WHAT IS THIS BLACK MAGIC?!”
Maybe someday I’ll even get to walk the dogs, dare I say it, off leash (in parks, as I don’t know, I don’t really like not having them strapped in when we’re walking on the sidewalk). One can dream…