Posts Tagged 'Vancouver'



By the Seawall…

Steve and I found a live starfish!  Unfortunately I was dressed maybe “not so well” in lovely little shoes that wouldn’t allow me to venture out and see it first hand.

The tide got really high last night and washed ashore the elusive “sea broccoli”, which you non-Vancouverites might just call “garbage”.  But I think we all see the treasure of broccoli here.  It doesn’t look like terribly old broccoli, either, so how the hell did it end up in the inlet???  Actually, truth be told I saw at least 3 tampon applicators washed ashore in all this crap within about 30 seconds, which doesn’t speak very well for the quality of water.  I just can’t figure out how all this shit gets into the inlet???

Here’s my little feets by some of the stuff that washed up onto the pathway on the seawall.  Notice I was wearing tights.  It started raining the MOMENT we stepped outside.  DAMNIT!  But you know what?  Whatever.  I rocked the shit out of those tights in the rain

Here’s Steve pointing out some more garbage washed ashore.  If you look in the background you can see how low the water level was by the afternoon, but overnight it was all the way up onto the seawall

Then I noticed the very rare “ocean moccasins” washed ashore.  What really freaks me out about these is HOW DID THE PAIR WASH ASHORE TOGETHER?!!

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It’s snowing meds!

Ah, the doctor was actually much better this time.  So now after many weeks of headaches and overall spacey-ness, I am on Cyprolex.  At least, I think that’s how you spell it.  The doctor was nice enough to not plow me with a year’s worth of perscriptions so that I didn’t have to pay a dispensing fee, but damn, keeping your brain healthy is EXPENSIVE!!!
I also had a long talk with the pharmacist about going completely off Effexor, and onto this other stuff, and I’ve got a pretty good program in place now to get me off Effexor while going onto Cyprolex.  So, today on this new stuff I am feeling sort of the same as with Effexor, but in all reality it’s going to take a week for things to start taking effect.
Speaking of effects, it’s always my favourite thing to read off all the “possible side effects” when I get new medication.  My favourite from this new one is “black, tarry stools.”  That is so far beyond the safety zone of anal leakage I don’t even know what to do with myself.  Plus, wouldn’t it be bad enough to experience one of those, say, a tarry stool, let alone the combination of basically shitting asphalt!  Maybe I can pave someone’s driveway and make some extra cash.  *TURN YOUR SYMPTOMS INTO COLD HARD CASH!!!*
I also enjoy when the information packet says “if you experience unusually long-lasting erections, please consult a physician.”  I just want to walk into the pharmacy and explain that I’ve never had an erection before, but damn, this erection I got is lasting for hours!  Maybe I’ll put a banana in my pants, too.  Just for good measure.
Oh yes, and I also have a theory about Zelda’s little piddle party.  She’s done this once before, but I figured something out: she has only peed like that when Steve has slept on the couch.  Now, before you start thinking “ooooh, trouble in paradise!” I have to tell you that Steve is sick again, and was feeling like he was going to puke, and since puke is my ALL-TIME LEAST FAVOURITE THING, he was nice enough to just sleep on the couch so that if he barfed, he didn’t barf near me.  He had to do this a few months ago too, and I’ll be damned if Zelda didn’t pee right in the same spot.  Anyhow, from this, I concluded that Zelda thinks of Steve as her mate, and she gets pissed when he doesn’t come to bed because we all go to bed at the same time, so she thinks I have kicked Steve out of bed, gets mad at me, and pees on my side of the bed.  Eh, eh????  Yes, I think she’s that smart.  And that vindictive!  She is a smart little pooch, so I think she’s actually got a serious thought process around peeing in the same spot on the bed.
In other news, IT IS SNOWING IN VANCOUVER RIGHT NOW!  WTF?!  I move from Calgary to escape the snow, and it follows me!!!!

Number Spells in Words

I had a really bad meal at Cafe Crepe today. I ordered a meal that had hash browns and it tasted like:

I kid you not. Ask Steve, he can vouch for the hamster browns. I couldn’t even eat them. Not only that, but the waitress forgot two parts of our order and we didn’t get our food for about 35 minutes, meanwhile other people got theirs in 10. I’m usually pretty relaxed about stuff like that, but I mean forgetting all that? And she didn’t apologize for being late with the food, or forgetting anything, and nothing was taken off the price of the meal. Boo! This is probably the third time I’ve been there and it’s been shitty every time. WHY DO I NOT LEARN??

I got my new glasses today, and they are pretty bitchin’.  I none of the photos I’ve taken have been that good though, but I’ll upload once I get a good one.  I’m feelin’ pretty swanky in them, and oh my GOSH my vision was actually -1.00 since I had my eyes checked the last time.  No wonder I’ve gotten a lot of headaches!  When I walked down Robson today it was like I had never seen so many things in my life.  STREET LAMPS!  ROAD SIGNS!  HOBOS!  IT’S ALL SO BEAUTIFUL!!!

I can see clearly now

Damn, no posting yesterday at all, what’s that about, eh?  I was helping a co-worker write three grant proposals all day…doesn’t that sound thrilling???  It’s like taking a bite straight out of the action! 

I don’t know when I’m going to hear about this animal shelter job, so that’s kind of the poops.  I figure by next Friday I ought to know.  There’s another job that interviewed me that has absolutely nothing to do with nonprofit, but I think it might be a line of work I want to go into eventually, so I am pretty stoked on that.  They need someone to start on the 15th, to which I promptly said, “Well, I can start for you as soon as you would need me!”  I hope only losers apply otherwise to that one, then I’ll have a cool job and be able to WALK TO WORK.  Somewhere David Suzuki is crying tears of joy.  I assume since they need someone ASAP that I’ll at least hear about that by next week.  Otherwise I might just stand outside of their office with cupcakes begging for a job.

In nerdy news, I have an eye exam today, which means new perscription, which means I can get glasses again!  I’ve been wearing contacs for a year or two, and though they’re good, I find sometimes I just want to wear a pair of glasses.  Plus, as far as my experience go, though it’s completely stupid, people actually treat me like I am smarter when I am wearing them.  I’ve asked around, and other people get this too.  Isn’t that ridiculous?  Yes, because I put on some glasses, suddenly my IQ went to 160, but when I don’t wear them I am at 110 to people.  I’ve met plenty of morons with glasses, too, so we all know that wearing glasses doesn’t make you smarter.  Actually, I think the frame of the glasses might have something to do with it, too.  You know those dudes that wear glasses that look like they popped the lenses out of some extreme sport sunglasses?  Those don’t really make you look smarter.  Actually, I think that makes dudes look dumber, as if they popped the lenses out themselves and then decided to wear them like that.

Anyhow, it’s a real pain in the ass not being able to see quite as well as you should.  The eye doctor is an adventure anyway, right?  Like that machine that blows air in your eye.  What purpose does that serve?  I’m pretty sure anyone in their right mind would move away from a blast of air being shot at their eye.  Is that even the correct reaction?  I’m not even sure what that test does!  And what’s with the extremely fast flicking to test which lens you see the most clearly out of?  THISORTHIS!  THISORTHIS?  THISORTHIS?  Aaaaaaah!  I didn’t see a fucking thing!  I don’t know!  Does that mean I am going blind??!!?

And also?  The eye doctor I am going to have made glasses for Uma Thurman and Sylvester Stallone!  They actually have a celeb. wall all along the top of the glasses.  WAS JOHNNY DEPP HERE?!  I NEED TO KNOW!  DID HE SIT IN THIS CHAIR?!  CAN I RUB MY BUTT IN IT A LITTLE?!  Ahhh, big city living.

The East Hastings Shuffle

Some of you who have read my blog for a while will recognize the title “The East Hastings Shuffle,” as a dance I invented a few years ago on my first visit to Vancouver when I was taken down Hastings by a dickhole friend.  After seeing East Hastings I would never again think that I had seen what poverty was in Calgary.  East Hastings was quite possibly the worst thing I had ever seen, and it changed me forever.

Think of the most decrepid place on Earth.  Think of all the sadness, all the filth, all the souls crying out for the slightest ounce of attention that would validate to them that they are even still alive.  Now throw in Satan.  Now times that by 100.  I think that’s what it feels like to walk down the poorest street in Canada.

The smell of urine floats in the air like a foul perfume.  There is clothing thrown on the streets, waiting to be picked up by the next person desperate enough to wear the filth.  You don’t want to look at anyone.  You don’t want to talk to anyone.  Your own guilt that you were born into a family that never had to see things like this is as evident as the freshly cleaned clothing you are parading around in. 

There is garbage everywhere.  There is pain everywhere.  You turn down multiple asks for money because really, do you have that much to give anyone yourself?  You’re just trying to make it out here, too.

You watch junkies shoot up on the street, right there in front of you, and you wonder what their life was like before all this…if you could call that a life.  It’s like a whole other world has plunked down in the middle of a vibrant city, and you don’t know which way is out. 

The poverty I see every time I go down that street makes me wish I could help more.  It makes me feel like I really should give someone some money when they ask for it.  Then I realize that if I gave money to everyone who needed it or asked for it down here, I would be close to living down there myself, and they’d all be back where they started.  Asking for another dollar.  Trying to get another hit, get another meal.  Get anything.

A man asked a group of us for money yesterday outside a shelter, and when we didn’t have any, he got so angry he threw a bottle and broke it right beside us.  I won’t say it wasn’t scary, but it was awful to watch the frustration and hate that these people feel to watch us walk away.  Because we get to walk away.  We have the choice to visit.  The option to leave.  We make the decision to visit, and then get to go home, to a real home.  Not a box on the street.  Not some paper in an alley.  We get to go home and have a meal.  We get to eat (mostly) whatever we want, and have the luxury of entertaining ourselves by going to visit the Ovaltine Cafe and tasting the cheap food.  Because it’s just for a moment.  But this is their whole life. 

“Yeah, but did they have Ovaltine?”

I went with some pals to the Ovaltine Cafe on East Hastings, which is an adventure in itself. Apparently an episode of the X Files was filed here, as well as some scenes for i-Robot. Ben Affleck was there once too, but Steve says it’s because the Ovaltine was all he could afford. Ha!

(photos from Flickr) 

Scary, no? Oh yes, and they DO serve Ovaltine. It was good. But I ordered pie a-la-mode, and the lady brought it to me cold…like…straight out of the fridge cold…with ice cream…

The best part is that there’s a $3 minimum charge per person at a booth, which is actually a task because everything is like $2! Luckily, my pie and ovaltine brought me to a whopping $4.00 or so. BIG SPENDERS!

More tomorrow…

It’s Friday!

and everything about the above photo is great.  They really capture the spirit of “Friday,” don’t you think?

 I talked to the man at the DREAM JOB place, and apparently there are TWO jobs being hired for in the beginning of January, and he’d like to interview me for both of them, so let’s all hope that I am not over-dazzling in my next interview with them come January.  Perhaps I should wear less glitter and diamonds?

In more hilarious news, a co-worker phoned me this morning to tell me that he hit someone with his car.  Now, before you comment on how terrible it is that I think this is funny, let me explain.  I guess he was driving last night, at which point we can all gather that it was dark out.  He goes to turn onto another road, making a right-hand turn, when out of nowhere, this little woman runs out into the road.  So my friend slams on his breaks because this woman didn’t use a crosswalk like NORMAL HUMANS, and I guess he hits her at about 5km/h, which pretty much just knocks her over.  Now the messed up part is that the woman just gets back up and starts running to catch a bus on the other side of the road!  She misses the bus and looks all grumpy, so my friend gets out of his car and is all like, “OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?!?!” to which she answers, “YOU MADE ME MISS MY BUS!!!” and then runs off!

WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?!  She was literally more angry about missing the bus than the fact that she was JUST HIT BY A CAR.

This city is bonkers!


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