Posts Tagged 'shopping channel'

Ten minutes!

Bah! I have ten minutes to post!

In honour of me currently watching the Shopping Channel, let’s make a quick rundown of my top five items currently for sale on the Shopping Channel:

Mmmmm, yeah, green Birkenstocks with a horse on them. They are fucking beautiful.

The Joan Rivers Makeup Collection:

Yeah. I’m sure she hasn’t had any work done. Why not buy makeup from a woman whose face is made out of virgin pig skin? Get out your credit cards! I couldn’t even cut the whole damn photo from the website. Joan River’s magical powers are keeping me from her full promotional banner.

Or how about 14K gold Tiger drop earrings?

One word: barf meow.

Mmmmm, maybe some Rhonda panties:

Rhonda left all her lace boxer briefs for you to buy. Complete with penis flap.

And maybe pair your Rhonda panties with a nice blu blocker sun visor:

This BluBlocker visor is detailed with an oversized panel TO THE MAX that helps protect your eyes and face and from ANYONE TALKING TO YOU. Stay out of the way of UVA, UVB and ME wearing this great visor.

And basically, you could combine all this stuff into ONE OUTFIT.

You’ll be thanking me later when you surprise your spouse with this inspiring combination of high quality items from the Shopping Channel.

June 2020
282930 collective fashion consciousness.