Posts Tagged 'Fashion'



MY BACON!!!

I have just discovered and atrocity for the ages!!!

My bacon scarf idea has been STOLEN!!! Someone out there is now selling a bacon scarf like they invented it!

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They must be stopped!!!

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Clearly if you look at my post date of October 2006, we can all see that I clearly had the bacon scarf idea first.  Perhaps I am owed some kind of bacon royalties???

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What it feels like for a girl

I am such a girl that last night I had a dream I was shopping.  Like actually browsing and then buying things.  If only I could score such sweet things and bring them to real life, then I’d have it made!

I’ve been wearing heels the past few days, which is a change from walking around in my emu boots not giving a shit about whether or not my footwear is “business appropriate,” because I don’t see anyone all day.  As of this Friday, I will be alone upstairs in my building!  Break out the sweatpants!  Blech, I am kidding, I couldn’t bring myself to wear sweats.

I don’t know if it happened like this for the rest of you, but did you just one day “get” how to walk in high heels?  I remember trying on my mom’s shoes when I was little and walking around thinking about how crazy it must feel to walk on a stick all day.  Then I became a teenager and those runners with the heel were in, so I guess that was my first “heel” on a shoe, and boy what an ugly shoe it was!  I can’t even find a photo of them on the internet.  Do you know why?  Because we’d all like to pretend they never happened.

I don’t think I actually tried walking in real high heels until I had my job at the YWCA, and before that I had gone through a good six years of boycotting any type of heel. 

I bought some wedges, and those served as really sturdy training wheels, and then one day I bought a nice pair of black shoes…that were one day eaten by a certain someone, and I’ll give you one guess who…

I put those heels on and just “got it.”  For the first time in my life I was actually wearing a heel of average height (3 or 4″) and I COULD WALK IN THEM.  I don’t know about you, but that was likely a very defining moment in my life as a woman, when I could finally join the forces of all those women deliciously clicking their tiny heel on the ground as they walked from office to office.  And isn’t that the quintessential noise that you recognize as distinctly female?  It says power, it says feminine, and I think it says you paid your dues in the shoe world to walk in them.

How awesome does it feel to put on a skirt and heels and say, LOOK OUT, BITCHES, HERE I COME.  I love it.

Fashion! (turn to the right)

It’s time for another self-esteem filled critique of others!  Since I went through the ringer in my second interview, I feel all exposed. Get this: They wanted me to show emotion, so they got me to talk about pets I’ve had, and why I love animals…and you know what happened?  I CRIED.  I cried in a Goddamn interview!  I was literally tearing up as I spoke about how much I loved my dogs and all the animals I’ve had in my life, and how much their companionship has meant to me, and then they were like, “Yes, that was what we were looking for.”  Then they got me to pretend that they were donors, and to try and get money for the org. I work for currently (which, hi, I wouldn’t reccomend that).  So I went on a long rant about North Vancouver and how there’s so many poor and desitute people out here but no one sees it, and it’s the human interactions that count blah blah (I just but the blah blah because it was a good five minute convincing session, not because I don’t care) and then the woman who was interviewing me said, “Oh my God, I need a minute, that almost made me cry!”  So all around it was this crying session interview, and I don’t know what to think of that, because normally you’re supposed to be professional in an interview, but the more I think about it, the more I really should show more emotion, because really, that’s why I got into it.  Because these causes move my heart.  But hi, when you cry in an interview, that doesn’t say fun.  I left feeling like I had gotten naked and done a dance, or had tried to awkwardly make out with one of the two people interviewing me, only to be rejected.  You know?  That stomach turning, painful, embarassed feeling.  I guess if they wanted emotion though, they sure as hell got it. 

 Anyhow, enough work talk for now, because frankly, there are too many people committing fashion crimes out there to ignore!

Exhibit A:  The garbage bag dress

Or at least, that’s what this looks like.  What woman walks out of the house and thinks that a sac is going to be super trendy?

I guess there’s just a big-ass trend going on in Europe right now, because I’m seeing a lot of big-ass pieces in wardrobes…such as the big-ass infinity scarf:

It looks like she’s wearing an elephant’s ear on her neck. 

And the infamous Hammer Pant:

Try and do the typewriter in those shoes!

But then there are people who I think are doing a good job and taking some good risks that are really fun:

Hotness, hotness, hotness.  I don’t know how she’s walking in this, but it looks good!

And in honor of Valentine’s Day, I am going to let this one slide:

And after a more thorough look at Face Hunter, I can’t find anyone else who has dressed in a reasonable way lately…yikes!

Fashion! (turn to the left)

Why?????  Yes, this photo was only taken a short time ago.  It’s from the 21st century.  It’s from Facehunter, a fashion blog.  Let’s talk about all the crazy shit wrong with this outfit…

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This is not hip.  It is not edgy.  It is not so bad it’s good.  It’s just bad.

Is this what it’s come down to?  Heavy crotches and messed up hair?  I already lived through the 80s, and I don’t think I want to do it again.  I think you can be edgy without looking like an asshole.

For instance:

See, now this outfit is hip without looking like you jumped out of a dumpster.  The shirt is really unique, has a really amazing way of hiding the buttons, and is a nice take on the average button down business shirt.  The hair is good, the pants (seem to be) good.  This doesn’t make me want to claw my eyes out. 

In a word: GORGEOUS.  I dare you to find something wrong with this woman.  Dress = hotness.  Full boob coverage.  No vag showing.  Nice makeup and hair.

This outfit is stepping into flavour country.  Some may not like the shoes with the tights, but I say, PLAY ON.  The shoes match the scarf, and it all comes together without looking insane.

Then there are those that maybe would have been okay, except for one very stupid and large detail…

Can you guess what I’m talking about?

You think to yourself, “nah, people aren’t walking around like this.”  BUT THEY ARE.  Each and every day.  Poor, defenceless people are walking around looking like morons because they have taken a stand on their own fashion.  I think sometimes their clothes are on strike while they are still wearing them…like this guy:

See, the sweater is literally trying to migrate off of his FACE.

But what can we do about all this bad fashion?

I say we hide all the bad dressers in this guy’s sweater:

actually, wait…is that even a guy?

*all photos from facehunter*

Wardbrobe Malfunction!

Winston wants to rock and roll all night, and party every day. I don’t know if you knew that.

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(courtesy of Steve’s cell phone camera)
So I took a major step today and organized my closet, which is similar in difficulty to trying to re-organize a stack of cards after 52 pick up.  I read a blog about the best way to do things, and I think it turned out pretty well!  I threw out some stuff (as my work is OVERLOADED with clothing), took the stuff out I need to alter, and then actually organized the stuff hanging up by jackets, dresses, sweaters, skirts, shirts for work, t-shirts, tank tops, shorts.  All I can say is WHY DIDN’T I DO THIS SOONER?!  I actually found out that I own about 4 black skirts.  WHY DO I OWN THIS MANY?  It was nice to see everything that is similar all together in one place, whereas before I just smashed everything into the closet.  Which is probably HOW I ended up with 4 black skirts.
I realized I wasn’t doing so bad when I saw on another blog that a woman owns 16 pairs of black shoes.  Yikes!

Tangents between tax receipts

You’ll likely notice every now and then I have a little tangent of things I write about.  Sometimes it’s the pugs, sometimes it’s work, you know, stuff like that.  Lately, I am thinking about fashion.

Sorry, dudes.

 I have to give you an update and say that I bought a pair of Levi’s kind of like these:

and OH MY BLOG they are the best fitting pair of jeans I have ever worn.  Seriously.  I will never ever doubt Levi’s.  Ever.  I have never put on a pair of skinny jeans that actually really nicely fit my thighs.  Most of the time I go to put them on and I end up not being able to pull them up really well because my thighs seem to be somehow OUTRAGEOUSLY ENORMOUS for my size (I am a size 4, WTF?).  So I thought that was just how it was going to be.  I was going to have my ass crack show forever because my thighs are not human. 

But then like a light shining down from dear, sweet heaven, I put on a pair of Levi’s and actually had to pick my jaw UP OFF THE FLOOR because they had slid on so easily.  LIKE BUTTER.  BUTTER MADE OF JEANS. 

I can’t remember exactly who suggested Levi’s, but I’m going to let you know that I will look back to that post, find out who it was, and then tongue kiss them.  Whether you want it or not.

Oh Deer

Oh how I love getting paid. Then I can buy pretty things like this brooch:

LOVE!

I’m a fan of basically anything with some kind of wildlife on it.  I am sticking with the deer trend just because I really like the look of antlers, and I think any kind of accessory with wildlife on it can look really intriguing, because you don’t see it every day.

Check out the Etsy shop I bought this at right here!  She’s got some pretty cute stuff.  I like buying things from Etsy because you get a really nice, hand crafted feel with the things from there.  Not the ho hum average, mass produced kind of stuff you’d be able to get at the mall.  Plus, etsy usually has really great pricing on merchandise, which is set by the seller, so there are good deals to be had!

It’s not just jewelry, either.  You can find almost anything that you can think of that would be handmade on etsy, from buttons to cooking aprons, and all the way to one-of-a-kind artwork.  Love it.


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LOOKBOOK.nu: collective fashion consciousness.

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