Posts Tagged 'cats'

You may delight in the jigsaw falling into place

Yeah, he wasn’t too impressed by this, but I was!

You can also see by this photo to the left, just how impressed the dogs are when I take photos of them. They’re like WHAT? A CAMERA FLASH? I NEED TO OPEN MY EYES AS WIDE AS POSSIBLE TO GAIN THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF DAMAGE TO MY DOGGY EYES. Yes. Now I can’t see at all. Perfect.

Zelda ate a turd today after not doing for a good, long stretch. Maybe she wants more chicken? Wait, I should say she probably wants more food. All. The. Time. Such is the life of a pug.

I would also like to reflect on just how good dogs are at keeping you warm during the winter. My feet never have to feel cold when I have two heat generators snorfling at my feet. They are also good for tummy warmth. And a hand rest when they feel like laying beside you.

Steve and I took the dogs for a walk together today, which honestly hasn’t happened in a month or so, because it’s just quieter and easier to control when we each take a dog on their own, seperate walk. Then they can’t have conversations like, “LOOK AT THAT DOG OVER THERE! LET’S BARK AT IT UNCONTROLLABLY!!!!”

Zelda actually went apeshit barking at a guy with a baby! A BABY! I have no idea why. Damn that baby for being cute, and being carried around like it fucking owns the place. I am the only baby to be carried. Yes. Carrying is only for baby Zelda.

Also, for the first time out here, I saw someone taking a cat on a walk. Yes. A Cat. Lord knows why a cat needs a walk other than for the sole purpose of making dogs CRAZY, but I dunno. You tell me, PEOPLE WHO WALK CATS. I mean, have you ever tried to walk a cat? No dice, bitches. I had a cat when I was in junior high I tried to walk, and basically what a cat does when you put any kind of leash on them is GOES COMPLETELY LIMP. Let’s face it, there is no such thing as walking a cat. Come on, crazy cat walkers, who are we kidding here? Cats aren’t meant for walking. If you want to walk something, GET A DOG. You don’t so much walk a cat as you drag it accross pavement while it plans your slow and painful death.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love kitties.  I would have a house full of them, that is, if I owned a house.  Or something larger than 500 square feet.  Love the kitties though, I am all about the kitties.  Meow!  Just don’t walk your cat, okay?  Kthanksbai.

Plus, there’s plenty of fun shit you can do with a cat:

1. Make it a weird cat bikini

2. Put stuff on your cat

3. Make lolcat stuff

4. Shave your cat

See?  Aren’t all of those more fun than walking a cat?  I rest my case.

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October 2019
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