Archive for the 'Whales' Category

Janice Dickinson is CRAZY, and other musings…

First off, I’m sorry I offer no new photos of Winston and Zelda as of late, but I don’t want to overload Steve’s computer with a zillion photos! By the end of the month I ought to be able to get my new mac though, so it’ll be photos ahoy by then.

In other news, I was watching a show about the colossal squid, and then I thought about how I hate whales…
This is a actual diagram of the size of a blue whale compared to the size of a person! Eff blue whales man…so so big. I know logically a blue whale wouldn’t eat a human, but the fact is, if a blue whale ate you as a mistake, he wouldn’t swallow you so much as you would drown inside of him in a horrible way. It would look something like this:

They should probably change the wikipedia entry to my illustration. Pffft.

On a different note, I would like to point out how INSANE Janice Dickinson is. I first discovered how crazy she was when I watched America’s Next Top Model and she flashed her old beav. to the world by doing some kind of front flip at the elimination ceremony for one of the models. I can’t remember why she did this, but she didn’t even bat an eye that she had just flashed her old cooter to north america. WTF?
She now has a show called “Janice Dickinson Model Agency” or something. Her idea of what an attractive model is, is rather “askew” if you ask me, and she gets WICKEDLY over-excited at pretty much anyone who had a nice body. She actually had a personal trainer put happy and sad faces on the parts of the models that were good and bad. Is that how you run a modeling agency? If it is, I’m going to start a crazy-ass modeling firm, except my models will only be dogs in bikinis. Then I think Janice and I will be on par in terms of general insanity.

Lastly (before this computer dies), I would like to say a formal goodbye to Zelda’s uterus, which will be taken out tomorrow. Poor little baby!!! I feel guilty. She never even got to use it! Think happy thoughts for her!

I told you I was going to quote you on this:

A friend once said, “The eye of the Horse is not a smidgeon of icing on the horrifying cake that is the bleak stare of the Donkey.”

That friend, was Ultra Toast.

I have to say that I find horses to be just as creepy. Zebras: you’re okay as you are awesome and stripey.

Let’s take a look at a horse eye:

El creepy, no?

and now the dreaded donkey eye:

Also horrifying. What are you hiding, donkey? Perhaps the secrets of ALL THE PEOPLE YOU’VE KILLED?!?!! I bet you are.

And now I present to you the most horrible eye of all!!!! THE WHALE EYE:


It just looks like this whale is up to no good. It’s planning something involving killing.

February 2020
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23242526272829 collective fashion consciousness.