Archive for the 'Whales' Category

Janice Dickinson is CRAZY, and other musings…

First off, I’m sorry I offer no new photos of Winston and Zelda as of late, but I don’t want to overload Steve’s computer with a zillion photos! By the end of the month I ought to be able to get my new mac though, so it’ll be photos ahoy by then.

In other news, I was watching a show about the colossal squid, and then I thought about how I hate whales…
This is a actual diagram of the size of a blue whale compared to the size of a person! Eff blue whales man…so so big. I know logically a blue whale wouldn’t eat a human, but the fact is, if a blue whale ate you as a mistake, he wouldn’t swallow you so much as you would drown inside of him in a horrible way. It would look something like this:

They should probably change the wikipedia entry to my illustration. Pffft.

On a different note, I would like to point out how INSANE Janice Dickinson is. I first discovered how crazy she was when I watched America’s Next Top Model and she flashed her old beav. to the world by doing some kind of front flip at the elimination ceremony for one of the models. I can’t remember why she did this, but she didn’t even bat an eye that she had just flashed her old cooter to north america. WTF?
She now has a show called “Janice Dickinson Model Agency” or something. Her idea of what an attractive model is, is rather “askew” if you ask me, and she gets WICKEDLY over-excited at pretty much anyone who had a nice body. She actually had a personal trainer put happy and sad faces on the parts of the models that were good and bad. Is that how you run a modeling agency? If it is, I’m going to start a crazy-ass modeling firm, except my models will only be dogs in bikinis. Then I think Janice and I will be on par in terms of general insanity.

Lastly (before this computer dies), I would like to say a formal goodbye to Zelda’s uterus, which will be taken out tomorrow. Poor little baby!!! I feel guilty. She never even got to use it! Think happy thoughts for her!

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I told you I was going to quote you on this:

A friend once said, “The eye of the Horse is not a smidgeon of icing on the horrifying cake that is the bleak stare of the Donkey.”

That friend, was Ultra Toast.

I have to say that I find horses to be just as creepy. Zebras: you’re okay as you are awesome and stripey.

Let’s take a look at a horse eye:

El creepy, no?

and now the dreaded donkey eye:

Also horrifying. What are you hiding, donkey? Perhaps the secrets of ALL THE PEOPLE YOU’VE KILLED?!?!! I bet you are.

And now I present to you the most horrible eye of all!!!! THE WHALE EYE:

Greeting SCARY WHALE….what are you up to? EATING INNOCENT HUMANS?!?!? SQUISHING US WITH YOUR MIGHTY TALE?!?!?

It just looks like this whale is up to no good. It’s planning something involving killing.


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