Archive for the 'the dog park' Category

Keepin’ it real

Word up.

The unpacking thus far is going slower than a senior citizen! I kind of do this thing where I look into a box, then think, eh, I’ll do that later, and then move on. Really this does no good because I’m not unpacking anything, but rather, just opening boxes and thinking, “meh.”

I’m also trying to keep my wardrobe at a reasonable level. I figure that I work at a nonprofit that has its own used clothing boutique, so I have somewhere easy to take my stuff! It’s hard to remember to actually TAKE the stuff to work with me.

Then there’s the problem of buying new furniture. We need to get some bookcases and a bed frame, but do we order them now, when the apartment is already full of boxes, or do we wait? I need the bookshelves to unpack the books, so I assume I should go get them, but something about adding more boxes to my pile is putting me off the idea.

Aside from this, I have deemed myself the “IKEA assembly champ” because I’ve managed to put so much furniture together from this store. Pssshhhh, I could set up all their displays at this rate!

Also, when you move a long way, I have discovered that things you though you’d want in the new city, you sometimes open to think, “WTF? Why did I bring this?” Maybe it’s the idea of taking familiar items with you, but then once you arrive, you realize you didn’t need it?

On yet another note, a pug came to the dog park a few days ago. The creepy thing was that the dude let the dog come into the park and run around to play, but he stayed 50 feet away on the grass. He stayed there the whole time too! All the other people actually come out onto the grass to socialize, but not this guy. He wanted to stand by the poop bag, overflowing mess of a trash can in the dusk and watch all of us.

Creepy people are not allowed to own pugs! I should have stuffed the dog in my purse. I’m sure that would have gone over well when I got home.

“What’s in your bag?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s moving. Did you take a dog from the dog park?!”

“We’ve always had this dog. You know……..Binky the pug……..?”

Yes. I’m sure it would have gone quite well.

Advertisements

Winston just took a dump on my leg!

WTF!

Let me explain.

I just got back from the dog park, where we met several new and delightful dogs, including a boston terrier who wanted to hump Zelda to death, and a miniature Australian cattle dog. Man, the dog park is like the hub of socializing about how proud you are of your dog! Single people of the world: find your soul mate at the dog park. Seriously. There are tons of people who are standing around and HELLO, you have a common interest in dogs.

Well, I guess you’d have to either have or borrow a dog to go to the dog park, otherwise I think the jig would be up.

Anyway, back to the pooping.

So we’re walking along the seawall back to the apartment when suddenly Winston decides to squat RIGHT in front of this old couple on a date, on the brick sidewalk. I look at her and she gives me one of those “ugh, of COURSE a dog would do that” kind of look, so I try and tug him onto the grass.

This somehow scares him in mid-turd, at which point he makes an abrupt turn to the left. I look on the ground, expecting to see a poop.

No turd.

Where is the poop?!

AH YES, HE HAS WIPED HIS ANUS ON MY SHIN! EXCELLENT.

So there I am, standing at the doc with a piece of dog shit wiped on my leg. The woman still looking at me.

So I dunno, if anyone needs me to come hang out near them on their date and “set the mood”, I can probably get Winston to take another dump on my leg, or maybe even cough something up onto your shoes.

My leg smells. I’m gonna go wash it.


October 2019
S M T W T F S
« Jun    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  
LOOKBOOK.nu: collective fashion consciousness.

Twitter

Advertisements