Archive for the 'pickles' Category

Ladies and Gentlemen:

I present to you, the magic pickle after one day:


Apparently this pickle is not divine. Who the hell knew that this would happen to a pickle after a day though! What the hell?!

I think I learned something despite my pickle not being a Jesus pickle.

Actually, this pickle just looks kind of pissed off now.

I suggest you grab your ankles and prepare for impact!

You know what song I like that I am ashamed of? The theme from Snakes on a Plane. I’m listening to it right now. It makes me want to ride a motorcycle while wearing hot-pants, knee high boots, and a blonde wig. What’s up with that?! The trouble that would go with trying to ride a motorcycle in a blonde wig is just more than I want to get into…
Today Steve and I took the pugs to the second pug meetup of the month! Woo! I was telling a co-worker that I was going to the second pug meetup of the month on Friday and she asked, “Boy, you guys sure are a tight group, aren’t you?” with this really weird look! Pfft. I go because:
1) Winston and Zelda get to run around with 40 pugs for two hours
2) I get to run around with 40 pugs for two hours
3) Watching any pug scoot around the building is in my personal top ten of awesome things that happen in the world
4) I get to hang out with a bunch of awesome people who share the same delight in these dogs as I do!

If that’s wrong then I don’t want to be right!

Today Zelda hung out with Turtle, a new Calgary Pugster Pug:

Most of the time his tongue was hanging out of his mouth, which is also a great point about pugs. Sadly, he didn’t for this particular photo op.

Winston spent most of the meetup doing his best impersonation of a seal:

Isn’t he beautiful??? He looks like a sausage link with a head! You’d be surprised that since I switched his food that he’s lost 2 pounds! Winston, have you been working out? You look FANTASTIC! What’s that? You only weigh 20 pounds now?! Well it shows! My goodness!

A few hours ago, I bit into my SECOND pickle with a face from my magic Vlassic pickle jar! Hopefully this photo works for all of you who couldn’t see the glory of the previous magic pickle I ate. I’m publishing this in Firefox instead of Safari…

This pickle looks more worried than anything! Seriously, Steve hasn’t bit into one damn pickle with a face, and I keep biting into pickles that could bite back! WHAT IS GOING ON?! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME, OH MAGICAL PICKLES OF WONDER AND DELIGHT?! SPEAK TO ME! WRITE ME A MESSAGE IN GARLIC!
Also, because Kara got upset that I didn’t save the previous pickle and instead continued to eat the magic pickle in hopes of ingesting some magical powers of my own, I decided to save this pickle on a napkin in my kitchen. If it is a Jesus pickle, my thoughts were that it won’t start to rot; Just like that grilled-cheese sandwich that a woman made in the states that had the Virgin Mary’s face on it. I don’t think this is the case with my particular pickle (because it’s already shriveling) but I will update you on its condition tomorrow.

Pickles, why have you chosen me to spread your message?! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!

Only time will tell.

Immaculate Pickle! ***(photos updated!)***

NOTE: Okay, I changed the photo load point, so let me know if you can see the magical pickle!! I bet the pickle had something to do with the photos not loading anyways…

Let me tell you the magical story of my mysterious late-night snack. A pickle. Sure, you’re probably saying, “pfft, pickles aren’t so great.” I BEG TO DIFFER!
Last night when I was enjoying a delicious snack of Vlassic Kosher Garlic Dill Pickles, I bit into a very special pickle. A pickle THAT WAS LOOKING BACK AT ME.

I proceeded to eat this immaculate pickle while it stared back at me, but I was constantly distracted by the mixed emotions of fear and hunger. Why was this pickle smiling at me? Did it know I was really hungry? Was it going to give me bad gas? Did Timmy fall down the well???!?!


As I kept eating my mysterious pickle of magic, I noticed that with each bite, the pickle expression changed. My pickle seemed to be in a glass cage of emotion. Unable to speak, yet doesn’t an expression sometimes say more?

Yes. You may have a face, but I am hungry for pickles, dear green friend.

Pickle, wherever you are in my digestive tract, just know how much I loved you. Even though you just smiled at me while I ripped you apart, you have a special pickle place in my heart.

I think maybe Winston could sense the special nature of this particular jar of pickles, because he was barking at it for a good 15 minutes, and won’t go anywhere near it as illustrated above by Steve chasing Winston around the apartment with a jar of magic pickles!

I’ll leave you to make your own conclusions. Next time you eat a pickle, just remember to smile back.

February 2020
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23242526272829 collective fashion consciousness.