Archive for the 'Friday' Category

Put some butter on me and watch me fry!

I am pretty sure I am a vampire.

It’s maybe 20 degrees right now and I want to die.  I think it’s likely the anticipation that it’s going to burn up to like 34 degrees today, and I just can’t deal with that.  When it’s that hot I don’t even know what to do with myself. I want to die pretty much all day long.  I can’t go out in the sun because I am so terribly pale, if I do I will burn up.  Or get sun stroke.  Or just melt into a pile of clothing and shoes.

My head is pounding already with the terrible anticipation of how extremely hot it gets in the building I work in when it is remotely nice out.  I work inside of a “heritage building”, which in plain terms means, “don’t you dare hang any kind of A/C unit out the window and make this building look at all modern!!!”  And so, we have about 8 fans going, which, as Steve so eloquently put it, makes it more like a convection oven, and less like a wonderful tropical paradise.

Watching your dogs overheat is also pretty shitty.  They’re just pacing and panting and you’re letting them lick ice cubes and sitting them in front of a fan, but they are still hot.  WHERE IS MY COLD, RAINY WEATHER, VANCOUVER?!

In anticipation of the extremely hot temperatures this weekend, I plan on sitting in the ocean all weekend.  I don’t care if I am sitting on a large amount of gravel or rocks or anything.  I will sit on someone’s sprinkler if I have to, and not just because it feels good!

I’m wondering if I should maybe shell out the cash for one of those cooling mats for dogs? I think you put them in the freezer and then roll it out for the dog and then the dog is all like, “HELLS YES.” and lays on it and is all cool.  I’m just wondering how many more days will be so terribly hot that the dogs will be uncomfortable?  It’s supposed to get down to 17 by monday, so maybe I should just wait?

Maybe I should just sit in the tub with the pugs all weekend.  Island bathroom party, woo!

But wait, look at this fantastic, dare I say, GORGEOUS product I’ve found on the internet:


I’m buying one of those bandanas for everyone I know.

What do you do to stay cool in the heat?

Everybody’s Workin’ for the Weekend

It’s FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things to do:

-Go see Spiderman 3
-Zelda starts obedience school
-dishes (blech)

It’s been raining for the past two days, which is pretty cool, since it’s the kind of weather that I’ll have to get VERY familiar with in a few months. The move is getting closer, and I’m checking out job boards and apartment listings to see what kind of stuff is out there. Things are looking pretty good, although I can see having to spend maybe upwards of over 30% of my income on a place to live, which is really only a little bit more than places cost here, so I’m sure it’ll work out. I’ll be excited to explore another city soon enough though, as I think I’ve pretty much explored all of the reasonable areas of this city as I can.
Soon will come the days of walking the dogs at the beach, or in a huge forest, or maybe even over some cracked out bums on the street! Winston will surely be able to get his bark on at some hobos, who I’m sure will just laugh at the small sausage dog in return. That, or they might eat him. You never know.
Then there’s the shopping, ooooh the glorious shopping that awaits me! We are close to a dangerous time my friends, a time where I will likely lower my own credit limit to prevent a disastrous, but entirely fashionable excursion around the city.
I found it pretty entertaining driving home in the rain last night. It seems like this city is entirely unprepared for anything except snow and heat. I counted several people with really trashy broken umbrellas, just trying to get home fast enough to be only partially soaked. Why do people keep shitty umbrellas? It’s not like they are helping anyone. It’s like walking home with a garbage bag!
I tried out my rain boots for the first time last night when I went on a nice little walk with Winston and Zelda. You know what I don’t get? Why is the inside of a rain boot basically a test of your strength and determination?!?! I put on socks to keep my feet warm, and I was stuck in my kitchen with the dogs going apeshit (my fault for even mentioning the word, “walkies” around them) trying to wrestle on my boots without stretching my socks so hard that I lose circulation in my toes. Maybe it’s my wide-ass feet. I don’t know.
Also, why are rain boots so high??? I am not planning on entering the damn ocean in them, so wouldn’t it just be easier to put on the boots if they were just a half a foot lower???

July 2020
262728293031 collective fashion consciousness.