Archive for the 'food' Category

Odds and Ends

Well, it’s not May the 4th anymore, so I ought to update so you don’t have to look at that pic anymore.
This morning I swallowed spit down the wrong pipe, which led to choking…while driving. If you want to spice up your driving during rush hour, I highly suggest choking.
I am currently staring at a small box of strawberries I bought two days ago on sale. These are too many fucking strawberries for me to eat! I am on strawberry overload! I need to remember this next time I look at a pound of strawberries. JUST SAY NO. I suppose I get sick of strawberries easily though, so maybe I’m just fruitist.
Also, if anyone wants to drop me off some veggie sushi, I would probably kiss you on the mouth.
kthanksbai!

Denny’s makes my bum rumble.

I just wanted to make a quick post and say that the serial morning pooper is back again. This time it wasn’t so bad. Or maybe it was as bad, but it was a different stink. Or maybe everyone on this floor had a bad bout of food poisoning this weekend.
Actually, that might make more sense, because I tried to go for Japanese yesterday, but the little restaurant was full, so we went to Denny’s and I thought it was fine, but later on in the evening when I was giving Steve a haircut I had to stop like 4 times because I had such bad stomach pain. Then I had a really bad poop myself.
Denny’s = bathroom FAIL.
“Pardon me dear, but I feel like I am going to shit my pants, can you please leave the bathroom half way through your haircut and let me have a terrible poop, and then come back in and let me finish? Great!”
This man loves me for letting that scenario actually play out my friends.
I think I’m okay today, but as I type this I realize I still have a small gurgling in my stomach, so I don’t know if it’s over yet…
Maybe *I* will turn into the terrible morning pooper! Well, if I keep eating at Denny’s I probably will.
Which reminds me, when we were seated, we got sat in probably the most depressing section of that restaurant with all the really old people and these older couples that looked bummed to even sit with one another.
In particular, there was this couple behind Steve that were a total drain to even look at. The husband was reading the paper at the table and not talking to his wife, and the wife was seriously sitting at the table with her eyes shut and a frown permanently etched on her face. Looking at that kind of shit just makes me want to slap both of those people and say, “Look, maybe you’d better call it a day on this relationship, or else you’d both better start actually speaking to one another! I can’t take it!” I hope to high heaven that I don’t end up like that, but I have a good feeling I won’t. I just look at people like that and think, ‘how did it come to this?!” You live in a really exciting city, but you’re sitting in a Denny’s reading a paper and not talking. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!

Sick Day!!!

I am home sick today, and I think you know what that means:

MULTIPLE POSTS!!!

Oh yes, let the fun begin my friends.  After I became obsessed with trying not to catch the cold going around work (otherwise known as THE PLAGUE), I was convinced I had it beat.  I even made everyone put hand sanitizer at their desks!  But no.  The cold finally got me.  That or someone licked my phone receiver because I was maybe one of two people who hadn’t been sick yet.

So first off, as I have just eaten my first half meal of the day, can I just take a second to tell you how crazy delicious cucumber and cream cheese sammiches are?!

 

Frankly, it’s like an angel came down and decided to bestow upon the human race the most simple and delicious little sammich we would ever know.

Um yeah, clubhouse sammiches?  Go eat a bag of dicks, because there’s a new bitch in town and her name is cucumber cream cheese.

Seriously, I had heard about these sammiches before, but I finally got to eat one on the weekend (it was part of a sammich tray at an event I had to work) and I pretty much passed out when I ate it.  Then I ate another.  Then some bitch took the third one and I couldn’t eat anymore of them.  Pfft!

Okay, okay, for those of you who eat meat, this may not be the best sammich, but for those who don’t, this is like putting a freaking cheesecake in between two slices of bread and then adding a dash of HELL YES. 

Can I also just say that I seem to be talking about food a lot on this blog lately?  Do you see the size of the tag that says “Food and Drink” in the sidebar?  It’s pretty much going to take up a whole page worth of space when I am done this post.

So I mean, if I am going to tell you about food, I should put a recipe up, right?

CHEESECAKE BAGEL (otherwise known as the poor man/woman’s cheesecake):

Ingredients:

1 bagel

jam of your choice

package of cream cheese

a knife

Slice bagel and apply generous amount of cream cheese onto both sides.  Apply generous amount of jam of your choice on top of cream cheese.

 BLAM!  Enjoy.  Or should I say, YOU’RE WELCOME.

I lived on these when I lived in Banff.  Well, these and microwave dinners (cooking wasn’t really an option in a dorm kitchen with mice).

Cupcakes are like little, delicious dreams!

Oh man.  If there’s one thing I can’t get enough of, it’s cupcakes.  I am actually not a fan of cake itself, but I do enjoy a little, delicious cupcake once in a while.  My favorite thing is making them actually, and I am pretty darn good at making them (making vegan cupcakes, even!)

I am clearly not at this level of cupcake mastery, but holy shit, I love looking at these lovely little masterpieces!  I can make a pretty mean marzipan rose, but I don’t think I have the patience for ten on every cupcake.

Are there any little delicious delights that you delight in?  There are very few foods that I delight in for their aesthetic value, but I could spend all day enjoying a beautiful cupcake.

I pretty much have to go here, right?

If only there was a pug in the logo I’d buy the damn restaurant myself!

The soup of the day at my local Subway:


Ahhhh engrish, you get me every time.

An Open Letter to the Cherry I Just Ate

Dear cherry,

I put you in my mouth expecting deliciousness, and I was instead greeted with the soft green dullness of mold on the cherry counterpart that you were attached to. Quickly, I spat you into my hand and turned you over, and WHAT DO YOU KNOW. YOU WERE MOLDY TOO.
Now I’ve had mold in my mouth, and I’m not too sure what to do about it.
I guess this is what happens when your mom buys you a lug of cherries in Osoyoos while on vacation from a crazy toothless woman strolling the beach.

Love,

LMizzle


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