Archive for the 'Christmas' Category



Oh Christmas Tree…

Here’s an example of how “interesting” the people in my family can be.

I put up my Christmas tree a few weeks ago. I got this Christmas tree from my mother. She dropped it off at my house on a Saturday afternoon. A few hours later she called to see how the set-up was going. Here’s pretty much how the conversation went:

“Hi, I was just calling to see how the tree is going?”

“Oh I finished setting everything up already.”

“WHAT?! DID YOU FEATHER THE BRANCHES?! DID YOU GET ALL THE LIGHTS WORKING?!”

“Uhhh, yup.”

“HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!!?!?”

“Ummm, I dunno, I just put up the tree.”

“WHAT?!?!?”

Anyhow, my mom proceeded to phone my sister to find out how in the hell I was able to get the Christmas tree up so fast without it looking like shit.

I dunno, but I have no idea how it takes her a week to put up a tree, and then not take it down until March…

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Silent Night(s)

Hello! I am a bad blogger this week, but not to fear, for I have a good reason! My adopt a family exchanges are happening this week and I am working 12 hour days. I’ve looked at more Excel spreadsheets than I’ve ever wanted to, and I’ve even organized a cheese platter (dangerous, because I am likely to eat a LOT of cheese).
Luckily we have been having a realy good time making some Christmas wishes come true! More to come…

O Holy Crap

Yes indeed friends, the holidays are here again. Time to gather ’round the yule log, or any brown log you may have handy, and listen to this horrific rendition of O Holy Night. I don’t know who this is, or if it came off of a real CD, all I know is just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does.

Grab some egg nog and have a listen!


(or download an mp3.)

Yes indeed. The holidays are built on tradition, and what better tradition than listening to someone who sounds like a drunk uncle belt out O Holy Night in all of it’s holy mess.

What a DRAG!

Last night I attended Carly’s Angels, the most gorgeously over the top drag show in town! This is the second time I’ve been to the Village Cantina to see the show, and I have to say that seeing men dress up as sexy women never gets old. How could it?!

Here is the lovely Mercedez, my favorite drag queen of all. I’m pretty sure this man has the best legs on either a man or woman I’ve ever seen.

Here is the beautiful Miss Shae, doing a Judy Garland impersonation:
And of course, the star of the show, the super sexy Carly!
I am personally poop my pants amazed that these men can walk in higher heels than I can. I would probably end up with a heel in my eye if I tried to walk in 6 inch heels. How it would get in my eye, I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure I could do it.
Again we have the wonderful Mercedez doing a special Cher Christmas song in an infamous “If I could turn back time” outfit. SPARKLE AND SHINE!
Yes, all the men get special treatment for being good enough sports to attend the show. Here’s a man getting a special version of, “Santa Baby.” YESSSS!
Again, let me present to you some of the most wonderful legs I have ever seen:
And a nice ass too!



So, so, SO fun. I’m trying to get Steve and Dan to come along and enjoy some men in dresses, so we’ll see. Anyone living in Calgary needs to see this!

A Little Christmas Story

Alas, I am back from my brief trist at Melrose for the College Christmas drinking fiesta. Full of two plates of nachos and one Field of Dreams, which Mmmmmmerika ordered for me happily! There’s nothing like free alcohol to catch the attention of a crowd!
Now I am sitting in my jammies at home, trying to write a paper about my experiences at my current job. Not something I’m particularly focused on as you can tell by the fact that I’m blogging!
I’m more in the mood to watch my puppies play on the rug that they’ve collectively soiled more than fifty times, listen to Christmas music, and enjoy the beautiful marvel that is my Christmas tree.
I haven’t been able to enjoy a Christmas tree since I was probably 14 years old. Close to ten years! This might sound a bit odd, like perhaps I’ve been living in Egypt or something, but I will explain…
I’ve always loved Christmas, from the time I was a little girl. I remember standing on my bed, listening to Santa give a jolly “HO HO HO” as he walked down the hallway with my PJ Sparkle doll in hand. I remember the perfection of watching Rudolph and laying on my couch, glancing at our beautiful Christmas tree every now and then. I never knew what a comfor it was to have a pine tree in my living room until it was gone!
I suppose the lonely part of the beginning of all of this is that after my parents got divorced, I was forcd to decorate the tree by myself every year. From when I was 9 until I was 14, I would go and get all the ornaments, get the tree, and set it all up. Then I would marvel for hours, looking at the lights that eventually became a blur…pretending they were colorful planets caught in the net of the night sky.
I never got to enjoy another tree until this year because of my step dad. I mean, he’s not a mean dude or anything, but I was so caught up in how fast he swooped into my life and mostly shut me out of my mother’s life (she really REALLY likes looking after him) that I was kind of snubbed out of the whole Christmas ordeal.
No more tree for me. They bought a new one and threw out all of the old ornaments, leaving me to stare at a string of lights above my bedroom window. I was always in my room because my mom can be quite…how do I say this….”Classy” at times, and make out with her “man friends” in front of me. That’s putting it lightly I suppose.
Anyhow, this year I finally got to put up a Christmas tree in my house this year. It’s finally feeling like Christmas again. Now all I want to do is look at my masterpiece and admire my work. I want to again get lost looking at the ornaments, remembering where they came from, and the love that surrounds this house. I want to stare at the sparkling star on the top of the tree that I always made sure when i was little, was put on top LAST.
I want to think about how much people get caught up in the hustle this time of year, and I want to enjoy the fact that I am safe and warm, snuggling a couple of puppies I never thought I would have in a million years.
I want to enjoy the fact that in four days I will execute the transfer of thousands of dollars of gifts to families who would otherwise have no gifts. How lucky am I that I get to do that?! I get to make sure almost a thousand people will have something to eat and gifts to open on Christmas morning.
At least if I didn’t get to have the full Christmas experience for almost ten years, I can give it to literally thousands of others. I’m so thankful that I get to be a part of that.
I’ll just have to remember to have a box of tissues ready for the virtual tsunami that I will cry when I read all of the thank you letters. All happy tears this year, of course.
I hope all of you who read this have a really, really wonderful holiday season as well. I hope you are happy, safe, and with loved ones. I hope you take the time to appreciate how lucky we all are to be who we are and where we are. I’ve seen a lot of terrible things over the past few months where I work, and I hope more than anything that nothing close to what I’ve seen happens to any of you.
Much love to my blogger friends!
I’m off to inspire myself to write a paper!

This photo sums up my relationship with Winston


I don’t know what the hell was going on when this photo was taken, and apparently, neither does Winston. It made for good times though. He had a nice nap with me today…on my head.

And because I think the photo above makes me look special ed, I would like to post a gratuitous photo to illustrate that I don’t always have an idiot face in photos:

Also, congrats to Dan, who is going to be working at Gravity Pope shoes starting the week before Christmas! You lucky son of a B, you’ll be surrounded by so many stylish and beautiful shoes!!!! Actually, that’s a good place to pick up women….just keep that in mind…

Well, I’m off to prepare to consume a record amount of booze and food in a short span of time because I’m attending my college’s staff newspaper Christmas party, but I have to leave early to write a crummy paper about my experience at my job for my college. Bummer! Free nachos are indeed not a bummer though.

CHRI$TMA$ TIME!

Oh Christmas. You bring my debt to unruly levels. Every year I manage to go over-budget and buy myself into debt again. My new goal until the 15th (the next time I get paid) is to spend no excessive money on anything. Nothing for me. Watch me as I have limited myself to a budget of $60 for the next two weeks. YIKES!
We’ll see how I do.
I am almost done Christmas shopping, but I still have a few items left to purchase, so that’s going on the credit card and I’m going to purchase NOTHING for two weeks. I’d like to say it’s for some amazing politial reason like BUY NOTHING DAY, but no. The groceries will be bought tonight and I will (try to) spend no more than $60 until the 15th.

This could get difficult.

After the 15th I’ll be cruisin’ my way to a debt-free situation!

Actually, the whole reason I’m on an extremely tight budget is because after getting a flat tire checked, I was told by the service station that they couldn’t find a problem with my tire.

“Are you sure it’s going flat?”

“Uhh, YEAH. Why would I bring it in otherwise?”

“Well anyway, there’s no hole in the tire.”

This led me to drive around and discover that THAT particular service station is full of morons because my tire AGAIN went flat. This forced me to ask my step-dad to help me get tires (he manages a Kal-Tire). Now I have FOUR new tires on my car which hit me with a nasty $430 bill right in the middle of Christmas shopping season.

Anyhow, when I lived in Banff I survived on a budget of $30 for two weeks, so I figure I’m up for the challenge.

How do you survive the Christmas shopping bonanza?


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