Goin’ all CSI

Well folks, it’s the second monday in a row that there’s been absolutely no hot water. So for the second monday in a row, I am at work, feeling gross because I feel like I absolutely stink and everyone else in here is freshly showered. Luckily I wiped myself down with a baby wipe, as I keep them handy to wipe crap off of the pugs. So maybe I smell like just a little stink, and then just a little aloe. Okay, and maybe throw in deodorant and perfume. I assume I’m smelling pretty neutral.
My hands don’t feel greasy or slimy today, so that’s good. I won’t have to feel the ocd compulsion to bathe in steaming hot water. Well, at least not until I get home. Which will be after I attempt to return two makeup products.
So I go to Sears and buy this concealer and primer for my face, as they both had good reviews. I’ll keep the label hush hush because I have to return it today. Or at least try! Anyhow, no one was at said makeup counter, so I had to ask someone from another counter to get the makeup for me. She did and I paid and that was all fine and good. Then I get home and realize when I pump the primer into my hand that it’s the wrong colour (these come in colours). So I guess that has to go back. Then I try the concealer, which was more like lard than concealer, so I figured that ought to go back too. I try taking it to the counter when someone is actually working and what happens? “Oh, you’ve opened them, you can’t take them back. You can have store credit though.”
WHAT?!
I actually had purchased a product at the Bay from the same makeup line and RETURNED it the day before, so what’s up with this counter? Anyway, needless to say I didn’t return for a credit. I took both products home and figured out a way to make them look completely unused, because frankly, this shit was expensive and I want my money back because I am not satisfied. So I cleaned out the pump for he primer, and put the concealer in the microwave to erase my fingerprints. Which took an hour. Oh brother. BUT! Now I can return both products, or at least as far as I know. I guess we’ll see how well I can persuade the sales girl…WITH PUNCHES.

5 Responses to “Goin’ all CSI”


  1. 1 Nevis February 3, 2009 at 10:41 am

    Very sneaky. I like it.

  2. 2 blogfaced February 3, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    i have a strange love for returning things when they don’t want you to.

    that sounded a lot weirder than it did in my head…

    i just mean that if i’m not satisfied but someone says i can’t return it i will do anything in my power to return said item.

    bravo.

  3. 3 doozy February 3, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    SHE WOULDN’T TAKE THE CONCEALER!!! AGH!!! I need to find a waaaay!

  4. 4 ultratoast February 5, 2009 at 10:05 am

    And I was wondering what CSI had to do with anything. Now I understand; I never knew you could erase fingerprints in the microwave. But do they actually dust products when they get returned?

    Decant another product which you have recently purchased into a seperate recepticle, then take the concealer and put it into the packaging from the decanted product; say, carpet cleaner, for example.

    Now take the ‘carpet cleaner’ back to the store you bought it from and try to get a refund there.

    Maybe?

  5. 5 Deidre February 11, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    Damn salespeople….

    I usually don’t let anyone return something opened for money back either (I work in retail).
    Maybe you can show them the lard-like cosmetic and ask them if it looks normal to them. Then, explain that you had to go to another store(who keeps their products fresh) because you don’t want to risk making another useless trip to their department store to returned the exchanged item if it were crummy like the one you’re trying to get a refund now
    Did that make sense? Hold on….well it makes sense to me.

    Oh, and don’t try the “I’m never shopping here again ” bit. I alway reply with “See you next week!” Ha!
    Good luck!


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