Stinky Monday

Here we are on a Monday morning and already there has been much debacle. First I get up to have a shower and turn on the tap to NO hot water. Again. What is this, like the 5th time this has happened? You’d think maybe after one or two times they’d figure out what’s happening to the pipes or the heater or whatever and get that shit under control. Maybe they just like to have us suffer, because I think the worst feeling in the world is getting all naked and standing in a puddle of cold water PRAYING for some resemblance of hot, or at least warm water to come out of the faucet.
Alas, I waited in vain, for the water only got even more bone-chillingly cold. You’d think if the hot water was broken that maybe just “room temp” water would come out of the tap. No no, my friends. We are talking scraped straight off an iceberg cold.
So I doused myself in perfume and deodorant and got ready in somehow the exact same amount of time, though I saved myself some time by not showering. Maybe it was because I had to heat up a kettle of water to wash my face?
Now I have to wait yet again to get home to actually get clean. I’m thinking of just saying “eff it” to my whole hair/makeup situation and just having a bath, because it’s just going to be a huge time-waster to have to scrub and re-do everything all over again.
Every time this happens I have the problem of my hands never feeling clean. Of all things, my hands! Those I can wash EASILY, but for whatever reason, the lack of showering makes them feel filthy. It sort of reminds me of when you’re baking and your hands get all buttery. I guess that’s what I feel like. Buttery.
Then I got on the elevator and this other dude got on, who, might I add, looked exactly like Robert Pattinson. HOWEVER, he smelled. Because he hadn’t taken a shower either. Not a terrible stink, just sort of a ripeness. Which then made me overly self-conscious that I too, might be just as ripe. BUT I SPRAYED PERFUME ON MYSELF! I CAN’T STINK. But I’m pretty sure I smell, at least a little.
So now the countdown to a shower begins! Only about 6 more hours until I can go home and feel clean again! And if the hot water isn’t back on by then, I am going to officially poop in front of the building manager’s door.

6 Responses to “Stinky Monday”

  1. 1 Lex January 26, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    Ugh I always hated that.. this what I would do.. I would heat up a huge pot of water and that took a while, so I would lean over the edge of the tub and wash my hair in the cold water. Once pot was hot/warm enough, i would do the wash cloth bath. :p Of course at 6am in the morning you do what works.

    Pooping in the office would work, just make sure there is no cameras!

  2. 2 Ultratoast January 26, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    Damn! I can smell you from here! We have something similar going on in our house at the moment. The shower trips out half way through and just shuts down, so that I occasionally find myself standing in a pool of water covered in suds, yelling at someone to trigger the fuse box.

    Nice darts

  3. 3 doozy January 26, 2009 at 4:42 pm

    Exactly, guys, EXACTLY. I still have another hour and a half until I can go home and wash the stink off. I am pretty sure I am stinky through my pants, but not like ass stink, it’s like this stale smell. It’s not like I was rolling around in filth yesterday, I just went for a walk! Lame.
    I was just thinking the day before how it had been a while since the water crapped out. That’s just some kind of epic karma joke on me now. You think you have hot water? I THINK NOT!
    I just don’t want to re-style my hair/makeup/other girly things.

  4. 4 Que Sarah January 26, 2009 at 10:38 pm

    Ugh, that is teh suck. I totally feel the same way when I cannot shower, ok not the buttery thing, but you know 😉

    Also, that totally could’ve been RPatz, from what I hear he’s not so much with the personal hygiene 😉

  5. 5 Goodboy Norman Featherstone January 27, 2009 at 7:26 am

    That just sucks. That used to happen in the dorms ALL THE TIME. I hated that friggin’ place.

  6. 6 Nevis January 27, 2009 at 9:19 am

    What cracks me up is that there is a related post of yours it’s suggesting I read entitled, “Wash that Butt!”

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January 2009
25262728293031 collective fashion consciousness.


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