Archive for November 23rd, 2008

Twilight Movie Review

Making a movie for hoards of anxious tweens and teenage girls will result in one of two reactions, one being something like this:

Or like this:

and I am pretty sure there is no gray area in between.

I shoved my way past mountains of teen girls as the theatre filled up, but I am always the stickler for getting to the theatre an hour before the movie on opening weekend.  And may I just ask WHY do people show up on opening weekend 5 minutes before the movie, and look disappointed when they can’t find say, 5 seats together in the exact centre of the theatre? So goes the minds of the stupid people.

There was a lot of screaming during this movie.  A LOT.  And I’m pretty sure that everyones’ panties flew at the screen when Robert Pattinson finally made his debut.

This face is responsible for the onset of millions of girls' puberties.

Robert Pattinson: Sending millions of tweens into early puberty since...Friday?

Frankly, I am getting distracted just having this photo on my post.

Whether this movie is good or bad, and no matter what anyone says, the fans will continue to show up in hoards. Teen girls rule the earth.  And really, there’s more women then men, so why wouldn’t we show up to see a sexy vampire story?  Let us not forget Interview with the Vampire.

Brad Pitt + not crazy Tom Cruise + Antonio Banderas = the original sexy vampire mix

Brad Pitt + not crazy Tom Cruise + Antonio Banderas = the original sexy vampire mix, no?

With movies made from books, I don’t know if the movie will ever live up to the book, unless it is 6 hours long. And you will never impress everyone because we all likely imagined that it would come to life in a slightly different way. I think that especially rings true for a book that runs on a lot of internal dialog, mystery, and thought. The poor studio that made this movie was falling into debt, and had a paltry $37 million to make the movie, as opposed to a well-funded film like the new Bond film, having a budget of $230 million dollars.  Do you know why Edward wasn’t sparkling as brightly or as beautifully as you thought?  Because that was one of hundreds of moments that needed to be filmed within this small budget.  This is also likely why the baseball scene wasn’t quite “impressive” enough. Think about how many people you have to pay, feed, clothe, and then you can add in the film, the gear, and then you’ve got a very small portion left to add that extra described effect that Meyer added to so many parts of this book.


I give applause to the actors.  I felt like everyone did a great job.  I feel like I lost some of the effect and intensity of the movie because so many girls were squealing with delight, or laughter, maybe not knowing how to react when the mild scene of sexuality happened.

Which brings me to another point. A lot of reviews I’ve read are talking about how this movie is a thinly veiled attempt to speak to young girls about abstinence. I respectfully disagree. This is a movie based on a book that came from a dream that the author had.  From the subconscious of a grown woman. Her ability to capture love, desperation, and the struggle of an undead man and a very much alive woman is clear.  And is there any better way to connect with women than appealing to their most basic, carnal instincts?  I don’t think that we need to read that much into this book.  This book didn’t try to change anyone’s view on sex, it didn’t try to change literature or make a substantial intelligent mark, it is a fictitious book about events that didn’t happen.  Sometimes women just want to read a good love story. It’s an easy read, it’s captivating, sexy, and isn’t trying too hard.  It doesn’t need to.


The good news is that Twilight has, as of tonight, brought in more money on its opening weekend than the new James Bond flick.  $70.5 million, securing the New Moon movie will follow. I am betting that this film will be better, but I doubt that it will please critics.  I think if you didn’t read the book, you probably won’t like the movie.  I also believe that the majority of movie critics are grown men, so it’s no wonder this movie has had poor reviews.

My opinion is that this movie was good.  It wasn’t awe-inspiring- it didn’t have the money to do that.  It satisfied my urge to see these characters come to life. Sure, it was cheesy and awkward in some parts, but teen romance is cheesy and awkward. I think we can all agree with that.

November 2008
30 collective fashion consciousness.