Nevis brought up an interesting question today, to which I will answer with a post!
Am I a bathroom stall farter?
To put it simply, no. But we know there’s more to the story than that!
I can’t say I’ve ever farted in a public bathroom stall when I’ve had control. I am pretty sure I’ve slipped up more than once though and it just came tooting out like a trumpet. If I can contain myself, I will. If I am sure it will come out silently, I will let it out. If I know it will be loud, I try and either squeeze it out slowly as not to create a noise, or I will hold it in.
Seriously, I have trouble even peeing in a public bathroom stall. I believe this developed while I worked in Banff for some reason. Probably because the bathrooms were VERY small and usually only had two….WAIT! I know when it started. It started earlier in college. So I used to go to the bathroom before this one particular class in the mornings, and we were in a weird old part of the college where the bathrooms were, for whatever reason, hidden. I have drawn a map for reference.
Each pink star is a door. As you can see, for some reason you had to walk through 3 doors to get INTO the bathroom. It was a disaster from the start.
Anyway, so I get up to go to the bathroom before class and go into a stall. Now, there’s maybe 3 stalls in there. I’m by myself, so I let one rip, but just as I do, a classmate walked in. And isn’t going to the bathroom. She’s just standing doing her makeup or something. So I sit for a minute in my own fart humiliation, waiting to see if she’d leave. I’m thinking at this point she doesn’t know who it is, so I am safe. So I sit for a minute, but she’s not leaving, and class is about to start, so I shamefully open the stall door and wash my hands. We exchange awkward hellos and I go back to class.
I’m pretty sure I got so worked up over that, that I just stopped farting anywhere that there might be people! I never asked this girl about it, but we ended up becoming pretty good school friends, so I’ve always been curious about whether she’d remember that or not. I can tell you that I was personally quite embarrassed.
I think that freaked me out enough that I can’t even stand to pee in a bathroom with other people, even when I’m in my own stall. You know, as opposed to those times where you pee in broad daylight in public, am I right? Now I have to pee while plugging my ears because otherwise I am so overly aware of the sounds I am making that I can’t even deal with it.
Colour me neurotic!
Is anyone out there doing anything weird in the crapper?