Archive for October, 2008

Happy Howl-o-ween!

I feel like there’s a bomb waiting to explode up my nose, so in light of that, I TRIED to find the Tracy Jordan Werewolf Bar Mitzfah video from 30 Rock, but alas, it magically won’t load from the NBC website.  But huzzah!  Youtube has saved the day, YET AGAIN!


Yes, I missed posting yesterday because I caught a mutha *uckin’ cold! AGAIN! The second time in what? 3 months? However, this one is not nearly as awful as the last one I had. I don’t feel like I am going to say…DIE. Being sick is always totally ballz though.

My Humps and How to Drop it Like it’s Hot

I get a real kick out of watching Winston try and hump Zelda. Not because it’s oh so beautiful, but because he has absolutely NO IDEA what he’s doing.  Sometimes he humps her sideways.  Sometimes he’s on her face.  Sometimes SHE humps HIM.  Best dogs ever?  Yes indeed!

I keep leaving these posts until last minute!  Damnit!  Now I’m so tired I don’t know what to say.  

I will say that this is the first time in any Halloween past that I’ve ever seen lineups to get into costume shops.  Like, DOWN THE BLOCK lineups.  I went past two stores today that were STUFFED with people.  It’s like people are late Christmas shopping over here.  These people must be going to awesome and glamorous parties that I am unaware of!

In somewhat crappy news, Zelda scratched her cornea, so now we’ve got to pin her down and put goopy eyedrops in her eyes every day for 2 weeks.  This is actually the first eye injury for either dog, so I think we’ve done okay.  It’s a really minor scratch too, which is a bonus.  No eyeballs popped out, which is great news!  Just a puffy, swollen eye.  Though when the vet put the first drops in her eye opened right up!  These are miracle drops!  Seriously.  She was whimpering last night and all sad, and then BAM, drops go in and she wants to throw her bear stuffy around and have some treats. And join the cast of Dancing with the Pugs.  Because I just saw a clip from the “hip hop” episode, and lost my shit at how terrible Susan Lucci dances.  I felt like I was watching my mom try to drop it like it was hot, but she just basically knelt down and stood up, and then looked at the other woman like she was hot shit.  If you watch, I think it’s around 6:20.  If you blink, you might miss it, because that’s how fly it was.

And please, Lance Bass is just pullin’ moves straight out of the N’Sync handbook. I just saw him do the “Bye bye bye” rodeo twirl.

I don’t even watch this show, but the golden nuggets of yotube clips are enough to keep the lols rolling.

Back to Japanese

Probably the nerdiest and greatest game came out recently:


Now I can learn more Japanese AND play videogames?!  I think I died and went to heaven.  I like this game because the first thing you do is a placement test, so that if you know a few words and phrases, the game will start you on a higher level lesson, which I think is genius!  And you also get to learn to write Japanese as well.  It takes about a half hour to do a lesson, and then maybe another half hour of games to gain points for the next lesson.  Once you get enough points in the games section (which are things like writing in Japanese, multiple choice, word searches) you have mastered about ten or so words.  I’m not sure how many levels there are, but so far it’s looking like I’ll have a good grasp on Japanese by the time I finish!

I’ve read some reviews online, and this game seems to hold steady in that no one has mentioned that it has wrong translations. The only thing I’ve read is that the order of strokes of the hiragana is sometimes out of order, which is not great.  But it’s not like I would try and learn Japanese simply from this game anyway.

Overall I think this will remain a pretty cool game to keep me up on my Japanese.  Super sweet!

Fruits & Veggies: Love & Hate


Why do they always stuff a bunch of cantaloupe in a fruit salad?  Any by ‘they’, I mean EVERYONE.  Are cantaloupes that much cheaper?  It’s certainly not for the taste!  In fact, I think the cheapness of the fruit may directly relate to the deliciousness of the fruit.  Like how raspberries are so expensive.  They are expensive because they are DELICIOUS.  Cantaloupe? Not so much.  I am basically forcing myself to eat the cantaloupe out of the salad because it makes up the largest portion of the salad.  How sad.

It’s like cantaloupe is the nerd of the fruits.  It doesn’t look particularly good.  It’s sort of got this 80s stucco look to it, and it comes in a few pastel colors.  In fact, I think cantaloupes are stuck in the 80s.  They need the What Not to Wear crew to get in on this shit and fix them up.  

My apologies to those out there who loves  cantaloupe!  I do not.  In fact, I refused to eat it when I was younger.  Only when I grew up and paid for a fruit salad with my own money did I start eating the lame parts of my fruit salads.

I suppose I do the same thing with a plate of veggies.  I will often selectively avoid one of the veggies.  And it’s not that I don’t like pretty much every veggie, but I eat like a bird and pick at certain parts of my food.  I think I pick out peppers?  

I used to love broccoli, then I hated it, and now I am okay with it.  It’s like we used to date and broccoli broke my vegetable heart, and we didn’t speak for a while.  We’re on speaking terms now, but we’ll never be the same as we were.  Broccoli just hurt me too much.  YOU NEVER CALL, BROCCOLI, YOU NEVER CALL.

And speaking of veggies I used to hate, I really used to hate yams.  But you know what?  YAMS ARE DELICIOUS.  I think I used to hate them because they were orange?  I wouldn’t even taste them.  Now I drench them in butter and a dash of salt and I feel like I am some kind of groumet chef.  But really, the yams are doing all the work.  Sure, they look like turds, but they are probably the most delicious turds I’ve ever had.  But a turd rating isn’t a very good rating scale anyway, and not just for food!

How about you?  What fruits and veggies do you love/hate?

Farts & Crafts

So the other day my boss wanted me to make a stamp template in illustrator and I was like, “Uhhh, I have no idea how to use illustrator.” and naturally he says, “you’ll figure it out.” UHHHHH…

Then I thought to myself, you know what?! I WILL figure it out. So I read some tutorials yesterday, and then I figured out how to make a pumpkin, my first vector!

And then I was all like, “What the hell, let’s make a vector of ME:

and then I thought about how I should have gone to graphic design school because I just figured out how to use illustrator with a pumpkin tutorial in 10 minutes.

Tasty Mistakes

So you’re hungry, you haven’t eaten since 2pm.  It’s 8pm.  You’re at Costco and you think, “hey, they have pizza for $2!”  So you buy a slice, which is actually two smaller slices still attached and you think, “AWESOME.” and you eat it.  And some french fries. And pop.

And then today you pay.  OH how you pay.  OUT THE BUTT.

Sometimes I really wonder about my food judgement.  But it tasted so good going in!  Too bad it exploded coming out.

But I love pizza so much.  I might as well get an IV and inject it into  myself.

Sunset and the Candy Dog

I know it’s Autumn, and that daylight savings will be coming into effect soon, but I really wish the earth would tilt normally and at least make it light out until maybe 7:30.  I won’t have anything to say to the sun (I’m looking at YOU, sun) if it would just make Canada light for an extra hour at night.  

Does anyone else feel like a slug right after Summer?  It’s like the entire side of the world slows down, and everyone goes into hiding until its Spring again.

When it’s dark out early and I’m inside I start to think too much.  Then I start thinking thoughts like, “Do veins just ‘end’ at the tips of my fingers, or do veins keep going in a circle?  If you say, had a tumor that you wanted cut off, but there was a nerve growing into the tumor, could they just lop the tumor off and sew up the nerve ending back inside your normal body?  Or would you wake up going insane from the nerve pain?  And if they brain helps trigger our movement, how do people do unconscious things like bite their nails and not even notice?”

Such is what I am currently pondering.

Do you ever look at your dog and think, “You are a little ANIMAL.  I have an animal just roaming around my house all day and night.  But you’re more than an animal, you’re like this weird in-between a human and animal.  And how great is it that we actually can understand each other and communicate?”  I get those thoughts every now and again. These creatures that I love that aren’t human are just wandering around all day, hangin, eating, pooping, playing, and sleeping.  I wish I could videotape them to see what they do all day.  Though they seem to get into more shenanigans when I just leave for a minute rather than the whole day.

A few days ago I was looking at Zedla as she laid down on the couch and we met eyes and then out of nowhere she produces part of an empty Kit Kat wrapper out of her mouth and just looks at me.  Shame on me for leaving my Halloween-sized Kit Kat wrapper on the coffee table.  It was ridiculous to see her do that.  It was like on 30 Rock when Kathy pulls a Matchbox car out of her mouth when Liz talks to her.

Just like, “Oh, here’s something for you to look at.  I like to keep candy bar wrappers in my mouth until just the right moment. See?  Here’s a Kit Kat wrapper.  Enjoy.”

Mo money mo problems

Cars are such money pits, but damn if they don’t get you around a hell of a lot faster than walking.


Isn’t Canadian money so pretty?  I love it.  It’s like shopping with rainbows.  And then spending all your rainbow on your OLD CAR.

If there weren’t so many effing people in Vancouver I wouldn’t be paying such a ridiculous amount of money for the next year in insurance, but poo poo, I’m paying 1.5 times as much as I did in Calgary to drive.

On the bright side, I can now drive all over the place.  HEY EVERYWHERE, HERE I COME.

My Sunday in Pictures

October 2008
262728293031 collective fashion consciousness.