Archive for September, 2008

I shall choke all the Customer Service Reps I Can Grab

I can’t remember how many customer service reps I’ve talked to within the last 3 hours, but I’d like them all to take a fork to the eye.  I think I’ve spent more time on hold than I’ve actually spent speaking to someone.  Now I’m feelin’ kind of stabby.

I’m gonna do my best to post once each weekday next month, even though I suppose I’m just a little early for NaPoBloMo in November.  I’ve been too sparse, and we all like to have a little bit to read at work, don’t we?

Today the government finally released the “National Do Not Call List” registration, and hot damn did I get right on that list.  I can’t stand telemarketers!  I couldn’t even stand calling people when I worked for charities!  Okay, charities aren’t included, but I’m pretty sure anyone who has had to do a job where you have to try and “sell” things to people, you just get abused on the phone all day.  Can we just go our separate ways?!  A divorce from solicitation phone calls?


Speaking of solicitation, I saw quite the pantless hooker last night…IN YALETOWN.  Come on now, in Yaletown they pay for fancy hookers, or “Escorts” as the *classier* of the John’s would call them.  Which, I think I saw one waiting for a dude the other day in the lobby.  Man, the sex workers are thriving with lubricants in Vancouver!  Anyhooker, the “lady of the night” that I saw, was wearing a leather jacket, cropped white top, and panties.  Did I forget pants?  NO!  THERE WEREN’T ANY!  And to top it off, she was workin’ it outside of a Staples Business Depot.  Niiiiiiiiiice.

I cannot brain today, I has the dumb

I’m having one of those moments right now where I can feel my brain has packed it in for today.  No more thinking.  I cannot brain today.  I has the dumb.

It’s probably because I watched a good 2 hours of Paranormal State, and then was woken up by Winston barking at 4am, and then i couldn’t get back to sleep because I was scared from watching that damn show!  Why do I do this to myself?  I have no idea.  I honestly eat shows like that up in the daytime, and then they scare the living crap out of me at night!  I probably should just stop watching them all together, but really, I probably won’t.  I look forward to wearing diapers to bed so that when I shit myself in fear, there will be less cleanup.

I had another sort of moment today.  It was one of those moments when you look in the mirror after 4 hours of work and then realize that your hair is 1) terrible today and 2) lopsided!  Why oh why didn’t I bring my tiny hairspray to work???  Or an elastic???  Oh well.

And no, I will not put a rubber band in my hair.  Holy shit, have you ever done that?  I have done it a few times in moments of desperation, but that is like the LAST RESORT for a woman.  I’d rather try and twirl my hair into a little mess that can be fastened with a pen than use a rubber band.  Maybe it’s because the individual strands of my hair are so slim, but they get all tangled.  I am going to venture a guess that any woman who has had long hair has at least used a rubber band for their hair once.  I shudder to think of those times!

Let’s celebrate Friday with some terrible album covers.


Yay!  Zelda is TWO today, so in celebration, let us admire this outrageously annoying glitter graphic of her:

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World’s Most Haunted Workplaces!

So I’m pretty sure that the building manager for the place I work is haunting our floor.  Seriously.  We need to get Paranormal State on this shit.  Does anyone else watch that show?  Christine, I’m looking at you!

Anyway, two Wednesdays ago our building manager passed away, and since then we’ve had two very bizarre Wednesdays over here where the lights in the hallway flicker, and stop.  And they only do it on Wednesdays so far.  Seriously.  It’s Wednesday, and LO AND BEHOLD!  Major light flickering.

This guy got into a major accident on MY BIRTHDAY (even spookier), and he died exactly two weeks ago.  

One of my bosses pointed out the flickering and was like, “I think it’s John! AAAAAH!” and now I am watching the hallway like a hawk!  I want to just stand in the hallway and gently whisper, “John…..?  Is that you?” but I’d probably crap myself if anything happened.  That might be okay though because the flickering lights are right in front of the bathroom.  TOTALLY SPOOKY.

Plus, this is a heritage site building, so this building is totally old.  And probably, TOTALLY HAUNTED.

Quick! Break out the heat sensor cams and the holy water! Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

Video Call Time!

So I had a video conversation with my friend, Blondie tonight, and she found a way to take screen captures during our conversation.  I had no idea how to do this to her, and as such, we just get to look a ridiculous pictures of me by myself!


And just for good measure, here’s some other photos I saw while I was cleaning files off my computer:

I should have gotten these glasses, no?

Look at the sweet jowls on my dog. Awesome.  So stretchy.  So good.

The difference between making a pug look gorgeous…

and maybe not so gorgeous in photographs…


Not so good:


I still love the bottom one, but he doesn’t even look like the same dog!

September 2008
282930 collective fashion consciousness.