I am pretty sure I am a vampire.
It’s maybe 20 degrees right now and I want to die. I think it’s likely the anticipation that it’s going to burn up to like 34 degrees today, and I just can’t deal with that. When it’s that hot I don’t even know what to do with myself. I want to die pretty much all day long. I can’t go out in the sun because I am so terribly pale, if I do I will burn up. Or get sun stroke. Or just melt into a pile of clothing and shoes.
My head is pounding already with the terrible anticipation of how extremely hot it gets in the building I work in when it is remotely nice out. I work inside of a “heritage building”, which in plain terms means, “don’t you dare hang any kind of A/C unit out the window and make this building look at all modern!!!” And so, we have about 8 fans going, which, as Steve so eloquently put it, makes it more like a convection oven, and less like a wonderful tropical paradise.
Watching your dogs overheat is also pretty shitty. They’re just pacing and panting and you’re letting them lick ice cubes and sitting them in front of a fan, but they are still hot. WHERE IS MY COLD, RAINY WEATHER, VANCOUVER?!
In anticipation of the extremely hot temperatures this weekend, I plan on sitting in the ocean all weekend. I don’t care if I am sitting on a large amount of gravel or rocks or anything. I will sit on someone’s sprinkler if I have to, and not just because it feels good!
I’m wondering if I should maybe shell out the cash for one of those cooling mats for dogs? I think you put them in the freezer and then roll it out for the dog and then the dog is all like, “HELLS YES.” and lays on it and is all cool. I’m just wondering how many more days will be so terribly hot that the dogs will be uncomfortable? It’s supposed to get down to 17 by monday, so maybe I should just wait?
Maybe I should just sit in the tub with the pugs all weekend. Island bathroom party, woo!
But wait, look at this fantastic, dare I say, GORGEOUS product I’ve found on the internet:
I’m buying one of those bandanas for everyone I know.
What do you do to stay cool in the heat?