Case of the Slanty Skull

I’ll admit it.  I can’t wear headbands.  I have maybe one that doesn’t give me a splitting headache, and the rest make me want to pass out.  You know the ones.  Those headbands that dig into your skull so badly that you want to drill a hole in your temples.  Yes.  Those ones.
And then there’s those large elastic band ones, the ones that go around your whole head.  I can’t wear those because I have some sort of magical slanty head and the back of my skull won’t support them!  They slide right off!  It’s like I have no skull back there!  Just a ramp!
I thought maybe if I just teased my hair a bit at the back that I could make it work with this pretty little ribbon headband, but then this morning I noticed the regular headband headache popping up, and there I was, taking off another headband because my poor skull can’t deal with it!
Does anyone else have a weirdly-shaped cranium?  I can wear hats, but no headbands.  Except this one little headband that somehow doesn’t give me a splitting headache.  A nice purple one with a bow.  Because bows are great.
What is it with girls and their hair?  I can only count maybe a handful of items that I can actually put in my hair that don’t give me  a headache.  And then there’s that glorious moment at the end of the day when you take the elastic out of your hair and rub the spot where it was.  Ooooh that’s good.  It’s like taking off a pair of heels.  Except most of the time you don’t notice the elastic punishing your skull.  Oh but to take the elastic out at the end of the day, that is one of life’s pleasures as a woman.
Now I’m off to take Advil to cure my headband headache!  Boo!

6 Responses to “Case of the Slanty Skull”

  1. 1 MandaGirl July 3, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    Oh man, my head is totally ramp shaped too! I put on one of those cool Lulu elastic headbands and not 48 seconds later it shots off! I hate it. I haven’t been able to find a headband that doesn’t make my head explode – which totally sucks because my hair is too short right now to put in a ponytail – don’t you hate that word, ponytail…

  2. 2 Christine, Giggs & Mea July 3, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    My head is also ramp-shaped 😦
    We should start a support group.

    Another one of life’s-pleasures-as-a-woman is a good ol’ boob scratch after taking off your bra at the end of the day (just before bed for me). You know, right where the under-wire sits. LOVE IT!

  3. 3 Jess & Clover July 3, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    OMG I know exactly what you are talking about. I have an oddly shaped head – can’t wear headbands or hats. I was really hoping I could get those elastic-y ones to work for me, to keep my shorter hair back while I am working out. The ones that I got to stick on for a reasonable amount of time got totally stretched out and useless after a few uses…meh? I don’t know what type of head they are designed for…

  4. 4 Doozy July 3, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    Clearly we are just a superior race of ramp heads! Wahoo!

  5. 5 Lorkeet July 4, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    I too have “ramp-head.” Never heard that term before. I always thought the back of my head was just flat, which I happily blame my mother for because she obviously left me laying in my crib for long periods of time while I was a newborn.
    Have you tried bobby-pinning the band in at the back? Another annoying piece of metal rammed into your skull, but it may work….

  6. 6 Gem July 21, 2008 at 12:23 am

    Aarrgh my head is the same, and it’s really frustrating! I have bought so many cute headbands in the hope that finally this will be the elusive one that doesn’t either slip straight off (the elastic band ones) or squeeze my skull to death. But nope. No luck at all so far.

    It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this, though.

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July 2008
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2728293031 collective fashion consciousness.


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