Cafe Au Crap

Each morning I need a coffee.  As of late I’ve been drinking mistos, which are half a cup of coffee, half a cup of milk.  Easy, right?
This morning I walked to 4 different coffee shops, thus making me 20 minutes late, all in an effort to get a damn coffee.  The first two had lineups out the door…
“okay, I’ll just go to the library food court…”
I get my order in and OOPS, NO DEBIT = NO COFFEE FOR YOU.
So I keep walking to work.
I find yet another, smaller coffee shop.  I order and somehow my order turns into an Americano misto, thus adding another chunk of time onto my order.  Then, the girl asks me how to make it.
“Half coffee, half milk, and if you could maybe put some hazelnut syrup in it, that would be cool.”
And she hands it back to me, and it doesn’t look right, but I am already 20 min late, and if the damn cup has caffeine in it, I will drink the damn thing.
I try to put the lid on my mug and burn my hand because she has filled my cup SOOOOOO full with hot water.  So I clean up, and have to walk another block with my not-so-closed-because-its-too-full mug.
And now that I am at work and have tasted it, I am not entirely sure what I am drinking!
This order took maybe a minute yesterday, and then today it turned into a big TO DO.  Waaaaahhhh, I just need to stay awake!  My poor, caffeine addicted body!
I should just drink a Pepsi and say to hells with this!
Also, completely off-topic, I am seeing a lot of bird parts strewn all over the sidewalk lately in this city.  Aliens?  Hobos?  Rabid kitties?  No one knows for sure.  We’re talking all kinds of parts, too.  Heads, wings, something that looked like a bird foot today…and all right in the middle of the sidewalk.  I mean, I guess a bird is good nutrition if you’re desperate, but to just rip it apart on the sidewalk?  Ah, you know what, I am going to assume it’s just a giant alien cat and call it a day!

4 Responses to “Cafe Au Crap”

  1. 1 Deidre June 25, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    How hard is it to fill a cup with half coffee, half milk? That’s crazy.
    In my hometown there were kitty parts around town. Maybe alien birds getting back.

  2. 2 Jess & Clover June 26, 2008 at 12:42 pm

    Oh man, that sucks!! Sorry about your coffee mishap; that is not a fun way to start the day!

  3. 3 Goodboy Norman Featherstone June 26, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    Gah. What morons. Maybe she used whole milk or cream or something and it curdled.

  4. 4 ultratoast June 26, 2008 at 7:08 pm

    That is one sexy leopard. Claw me! Yeah…

    In a very strange coincidence, my buddy Patch was just burning his mouth when I started reading this.



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June 2008
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2930 collective fashion consciousness.


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