Dear pretty much all at-home wax kits

You kill me.  I attempted three different kinds of you, and managed to make my poor armpits BLEED, and guess what?  You didn’t take any effing hair off of my pits.  DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO WALK AROUND WITH HAIRY ARMPITS?!  Agh.

Maybe I should get a proffessional in here to deal with my pits.  I really thought I could just take care of it myself, because there’s only like ten hairs per pit, but no!  I bleed, I try many kits, and the hair remains!  Oh trusty razor, you will never let me down.

I attempted the legs as well, and that went OKAY.  Not great, but okay.  Maybe waxing my own body isn’t my thing?

Also, one of the dogs peed ON THE COUCH.  AGAIN.  What the shit, dogs?!  Looks like I might have to get a scat mat or something.  I bought them some new toys, including a new busy buddy, but no!  They peed on the sofa a little bit when Steve and I went to Costco on an over-sized adventure.  Which, by the way?  Costco is amazing.

12 Responses to “Dear pretty much all at-home wax kits”

  1. 1 MandaGirl April 17, 2008 at 10:41 am

    Miko peed on the couch the other night. While I was laying on it. Brutal. What the hell?

    Costco = danger.

  2. 2 doozy April 17, 2008 at 11:30 am

    Danger??? Why danger? Danger from all the DEALS?!

  3. 3 Tjam April 17, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    I’ve had some luck with the Veet ones for bikini line and face. I don’t use them there but they are the ones that you just warm up by rubbing them between your hands, then you peel them apart and stick em on.
    Tips: Leave them on your “pit” to cool down before you savagly RIP them off against the growth direction of the hair. (Don’t mind the skin that comes with. Also stretch the skin as much as possible upon slappin it on and rippin it off. You really do need Steve’s help with this. Think of it as quality time (like when monkey’s groom each other). Candace helps me usually and then further tortures me by using the epilady to rip the remaining hairs out by the root.
    Good times ladies, good times.

  4. 4 ultratoast April 18, 2008 at 1:34 am

    I’m presuming the Scat Mat doesn’t bust out soothing freeform vocalisations to pacify piss happy canines. If it does, I want one.

    You can get electrolysis kits that zap the hair at the route so you never have to shave again. It takes time to get everything done, but, according to the shopping channel, they never come back.

  5. 5 ultratoast April 18, 2008 at 1:35 am

    root! I meant root.

  6. 7 Nevis April 18, 2008 at 7:29 am

    I refuse to wax. Been there, done that. Never again. I’d rather just shave and be vigilant about it.

    Ooo…and I love CostCo. Except for the $200 I always manage to end up spending. Blerg!

  7. 8 ultratoast April 18, 2008 at 7:52 am

    Laser? What are you Blondie, a bond villain?

  8. 9 doozy April 18, 2008 at 11:07 am

    Yeah I guess a laser wouldn’t make me oh…BLEED.

  9. 10 Lorkeet April 19, 2008 at 8:08 pm

    I can kinda understand waxing your legs… but is it really so hard to take 10 seconds each day and run a razor down each pit? I’ve never understood the pit waxing thing. Then again all my body hair grows in baby fine. Smug.

  10. 11 Christine & Giggs April 19, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    Scat Mats are pricey aren’t they? We bought these things called X-Mats to keep Giggs off the couch when we’re away. You may need 3 or 4, but you can get them on Amazon for like $8. When you’re home, just slide them under the couch. Ours work great.

    I recommend laser hair removal. It’s pricey (I paid $200 for ‘pits’ and bikini) and will take at least 4 treatments if not more. Maybe it’s come down in price since I had it done (?). Works damn good though. FYI: Lasered hair smells like burnt popcorn.

  11. 12 Penny July 12, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    I love at home waxing, especially for the bikini area, and it turns out great. When waxing anywhere, be sure to clean the area beforehand and dry it completely, then rub some baby powder over the area (helps protect the skin from the wax but will still let the hair attach to the wax). For armpits, you should really have a friend help you since it is best to pull the skin taut and pull off against the direction of hair growth (this means more than one strip for your underarms). Pull close to the skin (like you’re turning a page instead of yanking up). Oh, and be sure to press the strip firmly against the wax, pressing/running your fingers down over the strip in the direction of hair growth. Hope this helps!

    Waxing your armpits is GREAT, since it removes that dark shadow that results from darkish hair beneath lighter skin…waxing yanks all of that out, while shaving leaves the hair under the skin.

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April 2008
27282930 collective fashion consciousness.


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