Points of the Day

Walking to work this morning I walked past a pair of men’s briefs as well as a nice pair of men’s slacks.  They were crumpled on top of a portion of a newspaper.  Perhaps the businessman exploded?  Spontaneous combustion?  I know hobos leave clothing strewn here and there in Vancouver, but this wasn’t like that.  It’s like someone had been walking and reading, and then had decided to take off their pants and underwear, and keep walking, which is something I can see happening in this city.  I wonder where the poor, half naked guy went???

This morning I heard a cute little French song on the internet radio station at work, so I tried to take a look at who the artist was, when I shut it off by accident.  Then my female boss said, “Yes!  I can see we’re really in tune to when there are annoying songs on that station!”  I went along with it because really?  Am I going to disagree with my boss at this point?  Not so much.
I‘ve had Steve shut the dogs out of the bedroom the past two mornings so that I can actually get some sleep after he gets up in the morning.  Okay, I feel guilty about not letting the pugs have a morning snuggle, but I am sleeping so much better, and there are no dogs stepping on my hair constantly.  It’s delightful.
I’ve been wondering as of late what on earth they do with body parts they cut off at the hospital? I guess I should explain that my dad, who is brain injured, has somewhat of a goiter on his ass.  It’s okay to laugh, it’s actually a long and entertaining story.  Now, the story of how he became brain injured is a long one, so really to cut to the facts you need to know:
1) My sister and I call my dad Joe Bananas
2) My sister is my dad’s legal guardian
3) Apparently my dad has somewhat of an ass goiter?  We don’t know what else to call it.  Anyhow, it’s funny because we’re wondering how his health care worker let this goiter get to the size of a grapefruit before telling my sister about it.  Imagine a grapefruit growing out of the bottom of one of your ass cheeks!  
4) He’s getting it cut off soon, which led my sister and I into a conversation about what they do with removed skin/body parts at the hospital…
I know they go into biohazardous waste, but when a doctor cuts a bunch of fat and skin, or say, a leg off of someone, where do all the body parts go?  I’ve been trying to research this over the past two days and I can’t really find an answer.  The fact that I worked in a hospital a few years ago didn’t tell me much about what happens to body parts either.  After discussing with my sister I guess they must burn all that stuff, but I’ve been told the smell of burning human is a very strong, and recognizable odor, so where do they do this?
There you have it, a little glimpse into my day!  If anyone knows where body parts go, let me know!  It’s killing me!

9 Responses to “Points of the Day”

  1. 1 Goodboy Norman Featherstone April 3, 2008 at 6:26 am

    Bare-assed Businessman on the Loose! Let us know when that story hits the stands.

    If you sleep better sans Pugs, maybe they should stay out of the bedroom. I know you love them, but sleep is very important.

    Goiter on his ass. Poor Dad person. I can’t imagine what they do with those body parts. I agree that burning them would be really gross. I can also imagine they don’t use them as compost – ew!!

  2. 2 Blondie April 3, 2008 at 6:36 am

    Ok, I was totally on board until the ass goiter!!!!!!!!! What a nice wake up call!

  3. 3 Ultratoast April 3, 2008 at 7:04 am

    Ah. The usual unexpected topical pleasures of stopping by here. I think the vanishing act on the sidewalk decided to fake their own death, probably to get out of:

    a) A meeting
    b) Marriage

    As for the body parts, I think they go to a Frankensteinien(!) laboratory where mix-and-match humans are built for sacrifice to biologically uninformed extra-terrestrials.

  4. 4 doozy April 3, 2008 at 9:26 am

    The best part is that when my sister asked what it looked like, my dad just dropped trou in a doorway and had no underpants on…oh dad, you’d probably have done that 20 years ago just the same way!

  5. 5 Nevis April 3, 2008 at 11:53 am

    …”ass goiter”..? I can’t help but laugh. I’m sorry!

  6. 6 Sandra April 3, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    I never really thought about that. I mean, we all know where the dead people go. I also know there are some weirdos out there who like to keep the stuff that gets taken out of them (although I doubt your sister will let your dad to that).

    Some of it probably goes to research…I know that the poop that people…poop… well it gets disposed of and mulched up and disinfected, etc, and put back in the sewer system. I imagine that your run of the mill appendixes end up there too. An ass goiter might end up in a cadaver lab where hapless nursing and med students will be forced to study it.

  7. 7 doozy April 3, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    Sandra: Yessss. Remember when someone left a body just sitting in the hallway?! Oh man.

    What about the legs and arms though? Would it be the porters that have to take them somewhere, and if they do, where???

  8. 8 Tjam April 3, 2008 at 3:41 pm

    I’m gonna inquire when I take him to get “little banannas” removed. Will let you know asap.

  9. 9 Sandra April 4, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    I was working up in the OR this morning and I totally forgot to ask. will ask tomorrow

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April 2008
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