Hairy Potter and the Order of the Hepafilter

So about oh, six weeks ago, Steve was emptying our vacuum of pounds of dog hair and he accidentally threw out the hepafilter.

It looked like this:

Our carpet, as of today, looked like something out of an ad for the Furminator:

I ordered a filter like FIVE WEEKS ago from Amazon, you know, one of those sellers within Amazon, and I could have flown to wherever the shit this place was and shoved 5 pounds of dog hair down their throats.  Why did I order one online, you ask?  Because Vancouver doesn’t really have any “big box” stores, ie: Zellers, Wal-Mart, etc.  While I think this is pretty cool of them (you know, supporting local businesses), but when it comes to buying essential items, they seem to be nowhere to be found.

So I order the only hepafilter that I can find off of Amazon and pay through the nose for shipping to get it to me faster (because I almost drowned in a dust bunny).  Weeks pass, and nothing.  The apartment is getting hairier and hairier.  Then I get an email from Amazon saying that from their records, they see that the “store” hasn’t sent my item, so they will contact these people on my behalf.  Then a day later I get a call from these chumps saying “oops, sooooooo so sorry, we will ship out the filter right away!!!”  Then I check my account.  Nothing has happened.

Another week and a half pass and I get an email from Amazon asking me to rate the seller.  Among other things I state (and I quote) “This seller sucks balls.”  Oh how good it felt to talk about ball-sucking sellers on a rating forum.  Hahahah!

And then I get home today and BLAM, the filter appears.  I got so excited I vacuumed the whole apartment.  I also sucked my skirt into the vacuum and overheated it, thus leaving that awful vacuum stink in the apartment.  Shit!

Oh well, at least we’re now as hairless as a 13 year old!  Woo!

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11 Responses to “Hairy Potter and the Order of the Hepafilter”


  1. 1 Goodboy Norman Featherstone March 11, 2008 at 6:24 am

    LOL! Your poor people. Pug hair piles up fast!

  2. 2 ultratoast March 11, 2008 at 6:37 am

    I knew a 13 year old who wasn’t remotely hairless, but that’s another story!!!!

    Filters are that thin on the ground? remind me to do no vacumming when I get to Canada

  3. 3 Nevis March 11, 2008 at 8:55 am

    Did you go back and apologize for the sucking balls comment?

  4. 4 doozy March 11, 2008 at 9:10 am

    No, they still sucked balls! They apologized for not sending the filter and then took another week or so to even send the item, meanwhile in their comments section they are getting all of these “wow, came so fast!” comments. WHERE IS MY FILTER?!?!?

  5. 5 Emily March 11, 2008 at 9:59 am

    Boston terriers don’t really shed. HA!
    Emily and Ike

  6. 6 doozy March 11, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    Awww, both my puggies shed! Even Zelda who only technically has “one coat” sheds like a mother! Sometimes when she gets too barky we put her in the tub (without water, of course) until she calms down and by the time you take her out, there’s hair everywhere!!!

  7. 7 Nevis March 12, 2008 at 10:48 am

    Yeah, Napoleon just started shedding. I was (previously) thinking I was just lucky enough to have the worlds only non-shedding pug. Aparently he was just a late bloomer. Dagnabbit!

    Oh, and totally check out my blog for PUG BOWL 2008. You’re a wonderful photographer and I’d love to see your entry!

  8. 8 Paula March 13, 2008 at 8:10 am

    Oh, we just blow our filters out with an air compressor my better half has in the garage. Smokey doesn shed yet, but when he does that will be 3. Someone told me to collect the spools of hair and have it twined into yarn. I’ve actually thought about it.

  9. 9 Blondie March 20, 2008 at 10:17 am

    Ok, buy a DYSON bagless vacuum! SO WORTH THE MONEY! It’s insane!


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