I can see clearly now

Damn, no posting yesterday at all, what’s that about, eh?  I was helping a co-worker write three grant proposals all day…doesn’t that sound thrilling???  It’s like taking a bite straight out of the action! 

I don’t know when I’m going to hear about this animal shelter job, so that’s kind of the poops.  I figure by next Friday I ought to know.  There’s another job that interviewed me that has absolutely nothing to do with nonprofit, but I think it might be a line of work I want to go into eventually, so I am pretty stoked on that.  They need someone to start on the 15th, to which I promptly said, “Well, I can start for you as soon as you would need me!”  I hope only losers apply otherwise to that one, then I’ll have a cool job and be able to WALK TO WORK.  Somewhere David Suzuki is crying tears of joy.  I assume since they need someone ASAP that I’ll at least hear about that by next week.  Otherwise I might just stand outside of their office with cupcakes begging for a job.

In nerdy news, I have an eye exam today, which means new perscription, which means I can get glasses again!  I’ve been wearing contacs for a year or two, and though they’re good, I find sometimes I just want to wear a pair of glasses.  Plus, as far as my experience go, though it’s completely stupid, people actually treat me like I am smarter when I am wearing them.  I’ve asked around, and other people get this too.  Isn’t that ridiculous?  Yes, because I put on some glasses, suddenly my IQ went to 160, but when I don’t wear them I am at 110 to people.  I’ve met plenty of morons with glasses, too, so we all know that wearing glasses doesn’t make you smarter.  Actually, I think the frame of the glasses might have something to do with it, too.  You know those dudes that wear glasses that look like they popped the lenses out of some extreme sport sunglasses?  Those don’t really make you look smarter.  Actually, I think that makes dudes look dumber, as if they popped the lenses out themselves and then decided to wear them like that.

Anyhow, it’s a real pain in the ass not being able to see quite as well as you should.  The eye doctor is an adventure anyway, right?  Like that machine that blows air in your eye.  What purpose does that serve?  I’m pretty sure anyone in their right mind would move away from a blast of air being shot at their eye.  Is that even the correct reaction?  I’m not even sure what that test does!  And what’s with the extremely fast flicking to test which lens you see the most clearly out of?  THISORTHIS!  THISORTHIS?  THISORTHIS?  Aaaaaaah!  I didn’t see a fucking thing!  I don’t know!  Does that mean I am going blind??!!?

And also?  The eye doctor I am going to have made glasses for Uma Thurman and Sylvester Stallone!  They actually have a celeb. wall all along the top of the glasses.  WAS JOHNNY DEPP HERE?!  I NEED TO KNOW!  DID HE SIT IN THIS CHAIR?!  CAN I RUB MY BUTT IN IT A LITTLE?!  Ahhh, big city living.

10 Responses to “I can see clearly now”


  1. 1 La February 8, 2008 at 10:55 am

    My eye doctor is this super handsome, soft-spoken gent who says “Is it better here on the first, or on the second? Or here on the first? Or better on the second?”

    I swear I hear that in my dreams.🙂

  2. 2 Amanda February 8, 2008 at 11:03 am

    Man, I hate that air blowy thing. They had to keep doing it to me when I got my eye exam last month, because I kept blinking and moving away. Also, the machine with the BRIGHT red light, with the timer that counts down when it’s going to flash in your eyeball, can’t stand it.

    So, a story about glasses and IQ. I used to be a leader for Girl Guides and one night, I wore my glasses to a meeting. The girls were super excited for me (they were 6) and when we were going around the sharing circle one girl says (oh, and my leader name was Diamond) “I am happy that Diamond has glasses because she is smarter”

    Outta the mouths of babes…

  3. 3 dryhumourwetcoast February 8, 2008 at 11:52 am

    I like your old glasses guy, you know, the one who looked like Brass from CSI.

    Also, I’m pretty sure the air thing is to correct the pressure in your eye socket. Something about there being too much pressure behind your eyeball is bad.

  4. 4 Goodboy Norman Featherstone February 8, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    I hope you get a new job soon. I’m still holding out hope for that sweet job with the animal shelter.

    I think the air blowing thing is a glaucoma test. I don’t remember though. I haven’t been to the eye doctor in a while.

  5. 5 Doozy February 8, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    I wonder if that’s something you can look up on the internet…you know, the air blowing test? I’m going to look into that!

  6. 6 Doozy February 8, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    Hazaa! Here’s what it is:

    “Tonometry is used to measure the pressure inside your eye. You may hear this referred to as your intra ocular pressure. The test is usually used to screen for glaucoma and may take several forms. In some methods a tiny puff of air is blow directly onto your eyeball and sensitive measuring devices record the amount of flattening that occurs. The higher the pressure in your eye, the less flattening will occur.”

  7. 7 Christine & Giggs February 8, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    I love it when the eye doctor looks in your eye and bobs his head around to get all ‘the angles’ so he can see the whole retina or some shit. I totally cracked up and started laughing one time because he looked so stupid doing it.

  8. 8 JasonSTL February 8, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    Not related, but I found your Doppelganger. Check this website out: http://dooce.com/

    Dogs-check
    Quirky sense of humor – check
    Random tangents in topics – and check

    thought I’d share, found a link to the site on Neatorama.com

  9. 9 Panda's mom February 9, 2008 at 8:31 am

    I hate the eye doctor. I’ve gone through it all: one gave me eyedrops and I couldn’t see anything near me for a day (and I’m nearsighted), another but blue dye in my eye and one time I had to wear super dorky (thisorthis) glasses to the waiting room and read magazines for 15 minutes while people looked at my like I’d just stepped out of a space ship.
    I’ve never had the air in the eye though, weird.

  10. 10 doozy February 9, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    I’ve had the pupil dilation one in my eyes where they open up to full and you can’t even go outside because it’s so painful! I couldn’t even drive home from the ophthalmologist’s office after that happened! I was stuck at Starbucks for like 6 hours until my eyes relaxed!


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