Archive for February 6th, 2008

MY BACON!!!

I have just discovered and atrocity for the ages!!!

My bacon scarf idea has been STOLEN!!! Someone out there is now selling a bacon scarf like they invented it!

baconscarfwrap72.jpg

They must be stopped!!!

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Clearly if you look at my post date of October 2006, we can all see that I clearly had the bacon scarf idea first.  Perhaps I am owed some kind of bacon royalties???

What it feels like for a girl

I am such a girl that last night I had a dream I was shopping.  Like actually browsing and then buying things.  If only I could score such sweet things and bring them to real life, then I’d have it made!

I’ve been wearing heels the past few days, which is a change from walking around in my emu boots not giving a shit about whether or not my footwear is “business appropriate,” because I don’t see anyone all day.  As of this Friday, I will be alone upstairs in my building!  Break out the sweatpants!  Blech, I am kidding, I couldn’t bring myself to wear sweats.

I don’t know if it happened like this for the rest of you, but did you just one day “get” how to walk in high heels?  I remember trying on my mom’s shoes when I was little and walking around thinking about how crazy it must feel to walk on a stick all day.  Then I became a teenager and those runners with the heel were in, so I guess that was my first “heel” on a shoe, and boy what an ugly shoe it was!  I can’t even find a photo of them on the internet.  Do you know why?  Because we’d all like to pretend they never happened.

I don’t think I actually tried walking in real high heels until I had my job at the YWCA, and before that I had gone through a good six years of boycotting any type of heel. 

I bought some wedges, and those served as really sturdy training wheels, and then one day I bought a nice pair of black shoes…that were one day eaten by a certain someone, and I’ll give you one guess who…

I put those heels on and just “got it.”  For the first time in my life I was actually wearing a heel of average height (3 or 4″) and I COULD WALK IN THEM.  I don’t know about you, but that was likely a very defining moment in my life as a woman, when I could finally join the forces of all those women deliciously clicking their tiny heel on the ground as they walked from office to office.  And isn’t that the quintessential noise that you recognize as distinctly female?  It says power, it says feminine, and I think it says you paid your dues in the shoe world to walk in them.

How awesome does it feel to put on a skirt and heels and say, LOOK OUT, BITCHES, HERE I COME.  I love it.


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