You may delight in the jigsaw falling into place

Yeah, he wasn’t too impressed by this, but I was!

You can also see by this photo to the left, just how impressed the dogs are when I take photos of them. They’re like WHAT? A CAMERA FLASH? I NEED TO OPEN MY EYES AS WIDE AS POSSIBLE TO GAIN THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF DAMAGE TO MY DOGGY EYES. Yes. Now I can’t see at all. Perfect.

Zelda ate a turd today after not doing for a good, long stretch. Maybe she wants more chicken? Wait, I should say she probably wants more food. All. The. Time. Such is the life of a pug.

I would also like to reflect on just how good dogs are at keeping you warm during the winter. My feet never have to feel cold when I have two heat generators snorfling at my feet. They are also good for tummy warmth. And a hand rest when they feel like laying beside you.

Steve and I took the dogs for a walk together today, which honestly hasn’t happened in a month or so, because it’s just quieter and easier to control when we each take a dog on their own, seperate walk. Then they can’t have conversations like, “LOOK AT THAT DOG OVER THERE! LET’S BARK AT IT UNCONTROLLABLY!!!!”

Zelda actually went apeshit barking at a guy with a baby! A BABY! I have no idea why. Damn that baby for being cute, and being carried around like it fucking owns the place. I am the only baby to be carried. Yes. Carrying is only for baby Zelda.

Also, for the first time out here, I saw someone taking a cat on a walk. Yes. A Cat. Lord knows why a cat needs a walk other than for the sole purpose of making dogs CRAZY, but I dunno. You tell me, PEOPLE WHO WALK CATS. I mean, have you ever tried to walk a cat? No dice, bitches. I had a cat when I was in junior high I tried to walk, and basically what a cat does when you put any kind of leash on them is GOES COMPLETELY LIMP. Let’s face it, there is no such thing as walking a cat. Come on, crazy cat walkers, who are we kidding here? Cats aren’t meant for walking. If you want to walk something, GET A DOG. You don’t so much walk a cat as you drag it accross pavement while it plans your slow and painful death.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love kitties.  I would have a house full of them, that is, if I owned a house.  Or something larger than 500 square feet.  Love the kitties though, I am all about the kitties.  Meow!  Just don’t walk your cat, okay?  Kthanksbai.

Plus, there’s plenty of fun shit you can do with a cat:

1. Make it a weird cat bikini

2. Put stuff on your cat

3. Make lolcat stuff

4. Shave your cat

See?  Aren’t all of those more fun than walking a cat?  I rest my case.

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10 Responses to “You may delight in the jigsaw falling into place”


  1. 1 dryhumourwetcoast January 14, 2008 at 12:53 am

    what about kitty ball?

  2. 2 Emily January 14, 2008 at 6:25 am

    Ike eats shit at every opportunity.

  3. 3 ultratoast January 14, 2008 at 7:14 am

    I can’t get with the cat walking either. Apparently, there are people ‘oop north’ who walk their pet ferrets. That’s something I’ve yet to see, unfortunately.

  4. 4 Goodboy Norman Featherstone January 14, 2008 at 7:26 am

    This post is gold. Gold I tell ya!

  5. 5 La January 14, 2008 at 7:43 am

    My new puppeh is a pug mix – do I have turd eating to look forward to? Is this common? He already eats EVERYTHING else and always seems starving even after he’s eaten a giant dish of food!

  6. 6 All Mod Cons January 14, 2008 at 11:51 am

    Nothing quite like coming home from work and reading a quality post! Tops!

    With you on the cat walking thing. They’re like a spring loaded bag of razor blades just waiting to shave every morsel of flesh from your bones.

    Mind you, xmas before last, I got my brother a lead for his pet rabbit. Bugger me if he didn’t actually take the thing for a walk. Crazy boy.

  7. 7 Michelle January 14, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    The girls are like that, we think they are actually racist becuase they bark at pretty much anyone who isn’t white. We were in the car on Saturday and they were freaking out at a lady who was pushing a pram. I just don’t get it.

  8. 8 Januaries January 18, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    When I look at the pictures of your pugs I sometimes feel like calling it all off (i.e. my moving and school plans) and making a big decision to actually stay somewhere and get a cat. A real lasting connection, responsibility, and, of course, free heating on winter evenings. But, looking at things realistically, I have yet to “work” towards a cat-keeping life; my current situation is not good enough for any potential pet.

    So for now I’ll stick to reading about your Winston and Zelda and read Haraway’s When Species Meet–it arrived from amazon this morning.

    Hope seasonal sunlessness isn’t getting you down too much 🙂


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