Have you ever heard of a Santa fetish? Okay, Steve and I were talking like a month ago and he predicted that there are people out there with a Santa fetish, which frankly…um…GROSS.
And I’m not even talking like this:
We’re talking this:
or maybe more realistically, this:
Mmmm, doesn’t that look crazy delicious?
I just happened to have had breakfast with Santa at my work on Saturday morning (he was making a guest appearance) and he said that he’s had a few older women on his lap that have suggested that he’d get pretty dirty going down the chimney, and that he might need to take a hot shower with them to get all the soot off.
Seriously, hearing that come out of Santa’s mouth was like seeing a fish walk on land. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHERE IS MRS. CLAUS???
It’s no longer, “I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus,” but more like, “I saw mommy forcefully accosting Santa Claus…”