The Left-handed Files

This kind of irked me this morning. 

 I went on a forum and asked if anyone had any website links to left-handed knitting because, well, it’s a forum and hell, there’s oodles of people out there, so there’s got to be maybe ONE left-handed person out there.

 Then I get a response that says “why don’t you just learn to knit right-handed?”

Well….BECAUSE I AM LEFT-HANDED YOU TWAT.

This may not make much sense to all of you right-handed folk out there, but you are truly existing in a right-handed world.  Most doors, mouses, scissors, can openers, hell, even the twist top on a pop are all made for right-handed people. 

Well, I am left-handed, and I am about as left-handed as they come!  I could really get more use out of two left hands I think, than a right hand and a left hand.  Anyone want to trade?

I golf left-handed

I write left-handed

I paint left-handed

I kick left-footed

I knit left-handed

I crochet left-handed

I open doors with my left hand

I do everything left-handed, EXCEPT, holding my computer mouse because there didn’t used to be the option to change the mouse to be left-handed. 

I can understand that really there’s only maybe 7% of the population who are left-handed, so I understand that I am going to have to learn to use right-handed objects, but KNITTING NEEDLES?

I can’t remember seeing a difference in a pair of knitting needles las time I checked, so why would I learn to knit right-handed?  Why don’t you learn to knit left-handed and tell me how easy it feels, or maybe hold a pen in your left hand and tell me how that feels.  Or maybe even try to open a can of soup with your left hand.  IT JUST DOESN’T WORK.

Now I’m off to grab my left-handed knife (that’s right, almost all knives are right-handed) and stab the internet.

13 Responses to “The Left-handed Files”


  1. 1 Amanda December 12, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    I totally understand the frustration – being left-handed myself. Although I write left handed though, I do everything else right handed. I think it has something to do with a broken thumb when I was a kid and had to learn how to do so many things with my right hand. It blows though. Dirty Beotches.

  2. 2 La December 12, 2007 at 1:33 pm

    I’m totally right handed, but for some reason, have always had my computer set up for a left handed person, with my mouse on the left. I have a wireless one at home, but it feels super weird to use my right hand. Is this the most boring comment ever? Why, yes! Yes, I think it is!
    (love the new masthead)🙂

  3. 3 A Lil' Irish Lass December 12, 2007 at 2:21 pm

    I love the fact that you used the word “twat.” This past week, it has become my word of choice when referencing my roommates.

  4. 4 Deidre December 12, 2007 at 3:16 pm

    I learned how to crochet! I’ve made two beanies! Whoo!

    I do certain things with my left hand so I can’t trade you…..sorry.

    Good luck finding another left hand.

    Oh, have you heard of Thread Bangers???

  5. 5 mstankowski December 12, 2007 at 4:14 pm

    My sister is left handed so I’m used to trials of left-handedness…I did a couple of google searches and there are a bunch of entries…not sure if they are very helpful. Good Luck.

    Michele

  6. 6 katylo December 12, 2007 at 7:42 pm

    Yesenia is left-handed and all of my brothers are left-handed. I kinda wish I was. It’s like a special little club.

  7. 7 AJ Marks December 12, 2007 at 7:50 pm

    http://www.geocities.com/kmnewberry2/knitins.html

    http://www.geocities.com/kmnewberry2/purlins.html

    http://www.geocities.com/kmnewberry2/lstitch.html

    http://learn-to-knit.com/left1.htm

    Hope these help! They may be too easy for you, I’m not sure.

    (Just a lurking pug lover in case you were wondering who the heck I am)

  8. 8 doozy December 12, 2007 at 8:26 pm

    Amanda: you’re right, they are beotches! haha
    La: that comment wasn’t boring! I always get a kick out of what you have to say!
    ALIL: Twat should be used more often
    Deidre: I haven’t heard of the thread bangers, what’s that?
    Katylo: You can be in the club on account of your awesomeness! My whole family is left-handed oddly enough, but my mom and my sister were switched by their schools when they were little I think
    AJ: thanks! :0)

  9. 9 Christine & Giggs December 12, 2007 at 11:22 pm

    I was almost left-handed. I spent a lot of time with my Grandma (she babysat me for the first couple years of my life) and she would always ‘corect’ me by taking things out of my left hand and putting them in my right. My youngest sister is left-handed though.

  10. 10 Punchbugppug December 13, 2007 at 6:16 am

    Now that I am forced to be left-handed, at least for a bit, I feel bad for u!! My grammy taught me how to knit and chrochet and I totally do not do either of those like they show in books!!! I’m sure there are other craft lefties out there!

  11. 11 Goodboy Norman Featherstone December 13, 2007 at 7:23 am

    LOL! I’m left-handed too, but I learned a long time ago that I have to do some things right-handed. I play guitar right-handed. Do you play guitar? If so, which hand do you strum with?

  12. 12 Christine & Giggs December 14, 2007 at 10:48 am

    I tried playing Guitar Hero left-handed because I thought it might be easier to work the fret buttons with my right hand for the harder songs… I was SO WRONG! My brain couldn’t compute what I was trying to do!

  13. 13 Deidre December 17, 2007 at 2:20 am

    Thread Bangers is a group where kids like you and me belong to. What do they do? They knit!
    check em out!

    http://www.threadbanger.com


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