I’ve only been a few times, but the aquarium is still awesome every time I go.
For instance, look at how awesome this turtle is. The turtle knows it, too. That’s why he was flaunting it so hard. He’s all like, “Oooh, look dudes, I am swimming around this place like I own it. Check out my turtle belly you guys. I’m huge.”
Then we saw some tortoise sex. It was pretty hot. Like seeing your grandparents have sex.
These caymans were pretty rad. They were likely thinking about eating everyone there. But they didn’t, so that was pretty nice of them.
And OH GLORIOUS DAY I FINALLY GOT TO SEE JELLYFISH!!! I have never seen a jellyfish in my life, so I jumped up and down like a total jackass when I saw the huge space they devoted to the jellyfish (it was under construction last time I went). I mean, look at these guys, HOLY EFFING AWESOME, PEOPLE. I almost lost my mind with excitement.
I can’t remember the names of all of the jellyfish, so let’s just call them all FUCKING AMAZING.
This sea lion was the size of an SUV. Like a giant fucking bear or something. I wanted to just throw a saddle on him and ride him off into a rainbow-filled ocean sunset. He made this barking noise that sounded like an extremely obese person letting out an enormous belch.
Then I saw some beluga whales. I am pretty scared of whales, but they make for really nice photos. Seriously, I saw a beluga attack someone once on one of those FOX reality tv specials and I almost crap myself every time I see them at the aquarium.
Did you know you can pay like $150 to the aquarium and they’ll let you fucking play with the whales and the sea lions and stuff? UM….BEST IDEA EVER. I am seriously going to have to feed the sea lion. Then we can develop a secret plot for me to take him home. He might crush our bathtub, but I think he would lower my rental insurance because then I can say I have a security system, right? Plus, the security system RUNS ON FISH! I like to find eco-friendly methods because I’m a good person like that.