Seriously though

Man, what a crap job I have done of updating over the past week! Boo to me!

I managed to seriously injure my neck, which is to say that I pulled a muscle and began an intense regime of whining on the weekend. I couldn’t figure out why in the world my neck would be so over-extended, and I even got Steve to crack my back, but no, the pain continued. Now before you make some sexual joke at my expense, THAT IS NOT WHY MY NECK HURTS.

Honestly I couldn’t figure out what has been causing my pain, or for that matter, making it worse by the day. I thought maybe it was some disc in my spine out of alignment, but I really didn’t wan to spend $50 at the chiropractor, and I don’t know how much I trust those people anyway. I’m just going to have to blame my back problems on my dear, sweet mother who thoroughly enjoyed cracking my back when I was little. I think I can remember having my back cracked when I was maybe five? Maybe that was just her trying to kill me, but I guess we’ll never know. What I do know is that her cracking a child’s back has left me with the constant need to have it cracked, even though I would think I am young enough to not be able to even have a problem with my spine.

You’d even think with my slippery bones that I’d recover nicely. That, or lube up my joints with some WD-40.

Anyhow, I came to the realization this morning that it has been my PILLOW OF DEATH from Ikea that has been the problem. I just got it two weeks ago, and my neck problems have been around for a week. I noticed yesterday I was doing okay, and then BLAMO! I wake up again feeling like my head tried to walk off on its own WITHOUT MY BODY. I even did research and learned what kind of pillow height I need (I sleep on my tummy). Apparently the Swedes only have skulls that weigh ten ounces, because this pillow is still stuffed up to the hilt, leaving my nose full of pillow when I lay down.

At this point I am either going to suffocate during the night, or brake my spine. BUT WHICH TO CHOOSE?!

In other news, when your neck hurts badly, do not continue to try and go for your every-other-day run. Especially don’t do it after eating six deviled eggs. I somehow didn’t piece it together and almost barfed on the treadmill.

Also, okay, I haven’t been exercising that long, but seriously, if I go to the gym at night and want to run for a half hour, I am pretty much going to want to kill the idiot girl who decides to walk beside her boyfriend on a treadmill dressed in jeans and flip flops. YOU ARE WASTING VALUABLE LMIZZLE BUTT SWEAT TIMES! Plus, who in their right mind walks on a treadmill for a half hour in flip flops?! What a great workout. Now my feet are totally muscular from having to try and hold flip flops on my feet for 30 minutes at a high speed.

Mmmm, muscular feet. I know, right?

And finally, you can expect more photos to come. Not many of the apartment as there is laundry currently strewn about and a few more last-minute boxes, but at least the apartment is looking like a home more than a storage facility these days!

Also, note to dog owners: if you give your dogs deviled eggs in an attempt to get rid of them because you made WAAAAY too many, they will fart. A LOT. Nuclear farts. Farts so stinky they could use the gas to kill inmates at correctional facilities.

3 Responses to “Seriously though”

  1. 1 tjam August 29, 2007 at 9:54 pm

    Don’t ever give them pork rinds then!!!

  2. 2 Princess Pointful August 29, 2007 at 10:35 pm

    I hate so many girls at the gym.
    Especially the girl who stole my ab machine… only to put it on such low weight that she could so reps for 10 minutes… WHILE TALKING ON THE PHONE!

    Instead of, say, putting it on a high enough weight that you can do 15 exercises, and then using that extra time to sit on the bench and call your friend!

  3. 3 Ultra Toast Mosha God August 30, 2007 at 10:20 pm

    PP is right. use tyhe muscle recovery time to call your buddy.

    Exert properly!

    People who read books on the exercise bike also bother me. Just how hard are you going for it?

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August 2007
« Jul   Sep »
262728293031 collective fashion consciousness.


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