Last night we shared our dinner plans with a Seagull

A lot of the time out here, people tell you not to feed the seagulls, or should I say, GROTESQUELY HUGE seagulls, because they can get pretty violent on your average person. I mean, I’m not going to mess with a 20 pound seagull when he’s pointing a gun at me, are you?

Anyhow, last night Steve and I went out for pizza to this little pizza shop on Robson, since it is extremely cheap and delicious, and there is an abundance of people watching to be had outside of this little store.

We walk to the shop and get our pizza, and proceed to sit on two fairly “interesting” lawn chairs outside the store. By interesting I mean “likely held together with dirt”. Anyhow, as we’re sitting watching the passers-by, Steve looks suddenly alarmed as he notices a rather large seagull eyeing him up from across the street at the library.

“It’s lookin’ at me….oh my GOD it’s crossing the street….OH MY GOD!!!!”

This seagull literally eyed up Steve from across the street, and then walked, not flew, across the street only to hop up on the curb and position himself about 2 feet awat from Steve and I. He kind of just stands there, waiting for us to do something.

So I bite off a piece of crust and go to throw it at him…

“NO DON’T GIVE HIM FOOD! ARE YOU CRAZY?!”

“Whaaaat? He’s not going to kill us.”

So I throw seagull caution to the wind and throw the crust at the seagull, and you know what? The seagull actually catches it in his mouth.

“Wow, that seagull’s got talent!”

“Let’s name him Jerry!”

So Jerry the seagull continues to stand RIGHT BESIDE us and just waits. Kind of like a dog…with wings, which is awesome. Nearly every time we throw something to Jerry, he catches it in his mouth. LOOK MA, NO HANDS!

He sits beside us all through dinner, and people passing by don’t even phase him, he just continues to stand beside Steve, looking at us. We start to think that maybe Jerry can’t fly, and so we feel bad and give him lots of pizza. People laugh as Jerry continues to stand with us.

This pizza place is right beside the entrance to an alley, so cars are pulling out RIGHT NEXT to Jerry, and Jerry just keeps standing there waiting.

He goes to walk back across the street, but cars are coming and going, and we’re yelling, “NO, JERRY! IT’S NOT SAFE!!!” because Jerry is now our adopted son. Jerry walks back and sits with us. We ask him a few questions, but he’s not much of a talker.

When we get up to leave, we wonder if Jerry will walk with us. Jerry just kind of stands there and looks at us, because, well, Jerry is a bird, and I suggest we keep walking because frankly I don’t think the pugs would take kindly to a seagull in the apartment.

We wonder if Jerry will strut back to the library, but he looks at us for a second more, and then FLYS AWAY.

“THAT SON OF A BITCH TRICKED US!”

4 Responses to “Last night we shared our dinner plans with a Seagull”


  1. 1 Christine & Giggs August 22, 2007 at 7:11 pm

    There just like pan-handlers…

    You don’t know if they are, in fact, destitute and hungry or if they just choose not to work because they can make more pan-handling, or they’re buying drugs and stuff. Who knows?!

    That’s why I donate directly to the shelters. Maybe there’s a seagull shelter you can donate to so you don’t get scammed again?

  2. 2 LMizzle August 22, 2007 at 7:37 pm

    Haha, if not I think I should start one, then when one asks me for food I can say, “Sorry dude, I donate to seagull shelters.”

    I love it.

  3. 3 Goodboy Norman Featherstone August 22, 2007 at 7:37 pm

    Ha! LOL! He flew away. That’s awesome.

  4. 4 Katy August 23, 2007 at 1:00 pm

    Aw, man, that’s funny!

    I must admit, a 20 lb waddling seagull could con me into feeding him, too.


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