Last night over a $6 cup of coffee (I had to taste it if it’s the most expensive cup in the world, COME ON!), Steve and I got to thinking (and it was probably from the coffee),
“How many birds do you think it would take to lift a human?”
I think this was sparked by seeing a seagull standing on the ledge of the Vancouver Art Gallery, and I mentioned how enormous seagulls are out here. Initially, Steve and I guessed a really arbitrary number of 50. Then when we really started to break down how much weight that each bird could handle between them, I think we finally presumed that about 200 seagulls could lift one of us, and that would be if we were on the top of a building, thus already giving us some room to drop in altitude from the initial takeoff.
I mean, I think seagulls are probably pretty strong for their size, but their wings aren’t too strong looking. They’re not beefy, like those handsome bald eagles, you know?
Then we were thinking about other birds that would be able to carry us. We figured that about 100-150 crows could probably handle a human (sorry PP!). We think that crows are generally smarter than seagulls, and could therefore be trained to pick us up from the ground, rather than lifting us off a building or something.
Then we got to thinking, “but wait! How do we tie all these birds together?!”
We figure that some kind of tethering device, in some kind of a sled-dog formation ought to be able to keep all the birds in line without actually impeding their ability to fly. I can’t see a net system working too well because you’d have to tie it to their feet for it to actually seem plausible….but then again, we’re talking about using birds as transportation here.
Then came the SUPERCROW (as pictured below)!
Supercrows are maybe as big as a swan, and therefore can still be trained, but can carry more weight, and as such, we believe that it would only take twenty supercrows to lift a human. I have illustrated this below:
Now all we need to do is genetically engineer twenty supercrows and train them to fly with a human. Pfft, piece of cake.