Crazy is, as Crazy does

Well, I finally had my first encounter (well, face to face, that is) with a complete lunatic.

Come on, we all knew it was going to come eventually, right? I mean, I’m in Vancouver!

Sure, I’ve seen the odd crazy hobo laying down on Robson, talking to themselves about this, that or who the hell knows what, but the dude I met was like VIOLENTLY crazy.

So Steve and I had just realized that our sneaky attempt to park his car next to mine in the parcade until someone noticed had finally come to an end when he got a “get out of my spot or I’m going to tow your car” kind of note. So we drive around and then see a spot that could be possibly parked in, but I get out of the car to make sure the street signs are telling us that we can actually park there. I’m walking down the street in front of my building, which is like, YUPPIE central, when I hear the shrill rants of some crazy man down near Robson. Yeah, that’s about the status quo. The crazy people seem to stop about one block before Yaletown in every direction. It’s like there’s an invisible barrier over the snooty people!

Anyhow, so I think it’s maybe 9:30pm, and I’m walking in front of the apartment, looking at other street signs while Steve waits for me to get back to the car to see if he can park, when I turn around to see this man walking down the street with a very determined stride. I think two people are walking in front of me, when out of the blue this guy SCREAMS in the most terrifying, Satanistic voice you will ever hear, “YOU! YOU ARE THE MAN I HATE!” or something, and then he takes another few steps and I see that it’s a man in some kind of army cap, and it’s dark, and he looks dark, and he is completely well dressed except for this bizarre hat, and he’s got these eyes that seem to almost glow in the dark.

As I am focusing on that, I also think, “Hey, maybe since he yelled at that couple, I will be safe from his ranting!”

Not so lucky!

He walks right up to me and points right in my face and screams loudly again, “DIE!……….BITCH!” and waltzes off.

That’s one of those situations where you’d like to swear back at someone, but frankly, he looked so insane that Satan himself could have risen from the ground and yelled at me.

And then he’s gone, and it’s quiet again, and I have goosebumps from someone so angrily telling me to DIE for no reason.

Then I wonder where he’s off to, and why he’s so mad. And I’m glad I have a nice, secure apartment to go back to! Yikes!

12 Responses to “Crazy is, as Crazy does”

  1. 1 tanbara August 3, 2007 at 5:15 pm

    lmac! what’s up?! oh blogging… it’s a world unto itself.

  2. 2 Steve V August 3, 2007 at 5:30 pm

    If worst came to worst I always have a sword in my trunk.

  3. 3 LMizzle August 3, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    Haha, ah yes, I forgot about that. You are fully armed with a sword and a baseball bat! READY TO KILL AT A MOMENT’S NOTICE.

  4. 4 Ultra Toast Mosha God August 3, 2007 at 5:51 pm

    Oh my!

    That might have been my dad. Sorry. He’s a little eccentric.

    They should never have given him a visa

  5. 5 LMizzle August 3, 2007 at 6:27 pm

    Hahah, I WISH that was your dad.

    I’m afraid it wasn’t though, unless your dad is Nigerian.

  6. 6 lorkeet August 3, 2007 at 9:52 pm

    He was mad because the voices in his head told him to be mad…

  7. 7 Katy August 4, 2007 at 2:10 am

    Oh my god, I think I would have been crying my eyes out. Even though it was some crazy dude, I would have been bawling.

    That’s so scary. I’m glad you didn’t get hurt!

  8. 8 Candace August 4, 2007 at 2:33 am

    Ok! I’m sorry but you have the worst luck w/the people on the street. First the guy taking a gigantic dump here in Calgary, then the vomit guy and now the psychotic yeller! You my dear need to be careful. That story seriously put a cold ball of fear in the pit of my stomach.

  9. 9 lepug August 5, 2007 at 7:29 am

    I’m glad you did not respond…he may have pull out his gun on knife on you. Scary. Sorry you had to experience that in your first month there. It’s really a quite and peaceful place.

  10. 10 Princess Pointful August 6, 2007 at 9:30 am

    My personal favourite moment was when a homeless man angrily yelled out the sexual act he wanted to perform with me in from of a busy transit station.

  11. 11 Goodboy Norman Featherstone August 6, 2007 at 1:34 pm

    Yikes! That freaks me out. Are you sure you want to live in this place?

  12. 12 Ultra Toast Mosha God August 6, 2007 at 2:36 pm

    My dad is not nigerian – to a startling degree.

    I will ask my dad how many Krayzeez he saw when he gets back.

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August 2007
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262728293031 collective fashion consciousness.


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