Let me explain.
I just got back from the dog park, where we met several new and delightful dogs, including a boston terrier who wanted to hump Zelda to death, and a miniature Australian cattle dog. Man, the dog park is like the hub of socializing about how proud you are of your dog! Single people of the world: find your soul mate at the dog park. Seriously. There are tons of people who are standing around and HELLO, you have a common interest in dogs.
Well, I guess you’d have to either have or borrow a dog to go to the dog park, otherwise I think the jig would be up.
Anyway, back to the pooping.
So we’re walking along the seawall back to the apartment when suddenly Winston decides to squat RIGHT in front of this old couple on a date, on the brick sidewalk. I look at her and she gives me one of those “ugh, of COURSE a dog would do that” kind of look, so I try and tug him onto the grass.
This somehow scares him in mid-turd, at which point he makes an abrupt turn to the left. I look on the ground, expecting to see a poop.
Where is the poop?!
AH YES, HE HAS WIPED HIS ANUS ON MY SHIN! EXCELLENT.
So there I am, standing at the doc with a piece of dog shit wiped on my leg. The woman still looking at me.
So I dunno, if anyone needs me to come hang out near them on their date and “set the mood”, I can probably get Winston to take another dump on my leg, or maybe even cough something up onto your shoes.
My leg smells. I’m gonna go wash it.