Oh Winston, you huge doofus.

Sorry about the photo quality, dudes, but seriously, I only have one lamp to light my living room, so take that and eat it.

I figured this post would be better if I mulled over it as I wrote it, and as such, it will likely be more entertaining that today’s shiteous video posts.

Anyhow, Winston has taken up humping and barking a lot. I’d say we’ve got at least a 900% hump increase in the past week. What the hell is wrong with this dog? Is he trying to prove that Vancouver is “Winston’s Town, Y’all”? Either way, I’ve now seen his penis more times than I’d like to admit.
The dogs are doing generally well otherwise, and are in good spirits, as pictured here:
Oh they look at me with such love…or maybe it’s gas. I can’t really tell.

So really I don’t know if there’s anything I can do about the humps around here, so at least I can change th barking. I managed to walk into a dog supply store with a nice sale on a citronella anti-barking collar. As you can see, Winston is too stoked at the prospect of Zelda’s sweet ass to even notice he has the thing on:
So far it’s been working like a dream. He doesn’t know it’s the collar that’s spraying him either when he barks, but that’s just likely due to the fact that he has about 40 chins worth of fat under his head.
Either way, he only manages to get about one bark out before he gets a sweet blast of lemon to the nostrils, which I don’t even know if dogs hate, but I wouldn’t be talking if I got shot in the face with a lemon every time I talked either.
He’s taken up a sort of grumpy growl now, which is a lot easier to deal with than a screaming bark, so I’m pretty pleased with the situation.
Winston also maintains his gloriously retarded and unaware expression even after having been sprayed with citrus:
He’s good times.

I think I might have to stick this thing on Zelda when we go out for walks though, but I don’t know if her neck can even support the damn thing because she’s about the size of a melon. Maybe I’ll just punch her in the butt when she barks instead, no?

8 Responses to “Oh Winston, you huge doofus.”


  1. 1 Goodboy Norman Featherstone July 20, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    I used to have a shock collar, and I know what the grumpy growl is. The People called it “grumping” when I did it. It was just low enough to avoid the shock, but just loud enough to let the people know I was ticked!

  2. 2 Goodboy Norman Featherstone July 20, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    Did I mention that I wore the batteries out of the shock collar twice and finally broke it for good? Yeah, I didn’t appreciate that thing, but I guess I needed it, because I barked so much that I made Woman cry daily.

  3. 3 Katy July 20, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    Why didn’t anyone tell me pugs bark so much before I got one? Suki is doing much better since Twix has left – he taught her some bad habits – but that shrill little pug bark is hard to take.

    Zelda’s sweet ass…lol!

  4. 4 Steve V July 20, 2007 at 3:13 pm

    I miss you so much!

  5. 5 Christine July 20, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    Giggs doesn’t really bark. Only if someone is at the door or if he hears noises in the house that aren’t normal. I think we lucked out. His bark is pretty cute. It’s a low growly bark, like he’s really tough and intimidating -not shrill at all.

    We do have a ‘special collar’ with a remote for other issues. He’s taken to peeing on other dogs and sometimes people as a sign of dominance. He gets the fear of god instilled in him every time he attempts to lift his leg. Not impressed. But I think it’s helping.

  6. 6 Okami July 20, 2007 at 4:28 pm

    “Punch her in the butt”

    But then what will Winston do for fun?🙂

  7. 7 rpm July 20, 2007 at 5:03 pm

    Thank you for your sweet comment about my Chichi. I love the little video too and I keep watching it. I miss her so much.

  8. 8 LMizzle July 21, 2007 at 8:41 am

    The video made me cry so hard before I had to go to work! It was really wonderful.


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