"Sooner or later, everyone goes to the zoo."

As a last little bit of fun in the city before I begin the stress that is packing, Steve and I decided to use the long weekend to make a trip to the zoo happen. The zoo is pretty wicked, as there is usually at least one animal that does something hilarious.
Such was my #1 animal of the day, this giraffe:
He made a lot of faces for photos, and was a pretty good sport. This giraffe is okay by me.

We also met this really ugly female turkey. She looked like a testicle, and seemed very concerned that we were taking photos.
Here’s a pretty wicked bird, the burrowing owl. I like these owls because they are so small. I am liking owls a lot lately too. Owls, you’re also okay by me.
Apparently they were a bit rowdy because it was mating season or something, but owls really look kind of pissed off all the time, so I didn’t really see a difference.
We also went into the butterfly room, which is a room that is EXTREMELY humid and EXTREMELY HOT. And you know what? I sweat between my boobs when it’s that hot, and I don’t like it. I like butterflies though, so I tried not to bitch too much.
Here’s an example of the fine craftsmanship you’ll see if you come to the Calgary zoo. We have a lot of really old plaster dinosaurs in the park. One had the wrong head on its body for like 20 years or something. We are sticklers for detail.

This is a pretty wicked monkey.
This chameleon was also pretty bitchin. He let Steve take a photo of him, but then this other fat guy showed up and started snapping photos and the chameleon just kept turning away.
“No, no, fat man. You shall not photograph me. I pose only for Latin men.”

Here we have some kangaroos. When we were looking at these kangaroos, I saw a kid going apeshit and crying because there’s a pretty wicked kids playground right beside this. The kid’s dad got mad and said, “the zoo is for learning, not for playing!” Yeah. Go dads of the world. THE ZOO IS NOT FOR FUN! THE ZOO IS SUPPOSED TO BE A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE THAT MAKES YOU HATE LEARNING!!!!
I don’t remember what the hell this was. It was big, and it’s a rodent though. I liked it because I saw Ratatoullie on the weekend.
Here’s a bison. This bison was particularly awesome because Steve convinced it to come over to see us by holding some long grass and shouting, “BUFFALO, BUFFALO, BUFFAFALO!!!!” at it until it turned around. Then it saw the grass and stuck out its giant, purple tongue. I don’t know what bisons eat, but this bison was having some special Steve salad. If you look closely you can almost hear Steve yelling, “HOLY SHIT!” as the bison eats from his hand.

Here’s Steve and I making faces in a photo. We always seem to make the same faces as the other. It’s probably because we’re pretty great.
Here’s a bear with the right idea. I think it was about 27 degrees, and this bear said, “Fuck it, I am getting in this bear tub.” He was maxin’ and relaxin’ in his bear tub while the other chumps were sticking it out in the heat.
Overall it was a good farewell visit to the zoo. My favorite animals live with me though. PUGS!

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13 Responses to “"Sooner or later, everyone goes to the zoo."”


  1. 1 Steve V July 5, 2007 at 4:44 pm

    yeah zoo!

  2. 2 Pug Mommy July 5, 2007 at 6:00 pm

    Ha ha! “fuck it, I am getting in my bear tub!” LOL. I am cracking up.

    I remember walking around the dinosaur park when I was little and sweating my ass off because of the red dirt trails and no shade. I wonder if it is still the same.

    PS. Boob sweat sucks.

  3. 3 Goodboy Norman Featherstone July 5, 2007 at 7:18 pm

    If you looked like a testicle, you wouldn’t want people to take pictures of you either.

    I sweat between my boobs too. I have 12 perky man-boobs, so you can imagine the amount of sweat I can create on a hot July afternoon.

  4. 4 LMizzle July 5, 2007 at 7:23 pm

    Hahha, oh man, boob sweat is so funny.

  5. 5 Anonymous July 5, 2007 at 7:44 pm

    Wicked Monkey? Why was he wicked? Did he throw poo at you?

    AMC

  6. 6 LMizzle July 5, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    He had pretty great hair.

    You know what I missed though? the sloths were up above the glass so I couldn’t see them, and I love sloths!

  7. 7 Pie! July 5, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    That is a nasty nasty looking turkey…

    Was the dad kicking the kids out of that playground where you can pretend to be gorillas?

  8. 8 LMizzle July 5, 2007 at 8:54 pm

    It’s the one that has all the netting. It’s by the old food concession place. I think there used to be a boat there in some shallow water when we were kids, but they re-did it. there’s stroller parking and a big shark on the side of the playground and stuff

  9. 9 Katy July 6, 2007 at 2:48 am

    That was the best post you’ve ever done. Srsly. Turkeys DO look like testicles! LMAO!!!!

    And the chameleon only posing for Latin men? HA!

    I so need to go to the zoo, now.

  10. 10 lepug July 6, 2007 at 3:56 am

    GREAT Photos!!! Have you considered photography as your new career? Seriously, awesome images. We thorougly enjoyed them. I love the Giraffe…he/she was totally posing with you! Yup, the turkey did kind of look like a testicle…yuk! Think again before you eat turkey.

  11. 11 Christine July 6, 2007 at 6:38 pm

    OMG! I’m laughing my ass off over here!

    I love the zoo! Are the red pandas still there? They were my favorite.

  12. 12 LMizzle July 6, 2007 at 9:40 pm

    I didn’t see them, but they could have still been there. I think it got so hot that we just gave up and went home! I actually got heat exhaustion after the zoo!

  13. 13 Ultra Toast Mosha God July 9, 2007 at 9:57 pm

    Steve’s T-Shirt rules, as does your comparison of a turkey to a testicle.

    This made me think of a recent english slang phrase for a lady with over-developed Labia.

    ‘Roosters Jaw’

    E.G. “Look at her. She’s got a bit of roosters jaw going on”


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