When Good Sales Go Bad

Okay ladies, I am here to give you a cleaning tip sent down from little baby Jesus himself. Here’s the backstory:
I am basically obsessed with Madonna’s line for H&M. I could drape myself in something from that line every day and look totally great. Plus, the line isn’t that expensive, so to buy more than a few pieces from this line has been more cost-effective than most shopping I do!
I do have one complaint though–why in the hell are her high heels like a foot high?!!?! I tried a pair on (because it’s getting around to Stampede time and EVERYTHING IS ON SALE, YAY!) thinking they might be pretty fly.

I could barely stand on one foot! What the shit, Madonna? These are like a foot high? Are you crazy?! I mean, they look fantastic, but I don’t want my foot stuck in “barbie foot” mode all day. I like heels and all, but it seems like if I wore these that I probably wouldn’t be able to bend my knees, or for that matter, walk. And I like to walk. It’s how I get from here to there.

Anyhow, I bought this outfit on sale (WOOO!) minus the scarf thing and the crazy belt because it’s very librarian chic…

It all fits like magical unicorns on me, and who doesn’t like magical unicorns? I get it home and look at the shirt and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, there is like this drippy-ass makeup stain down part of the back of the shirt. Now I’m thinking that I am going to have to return this fantastic score of a purchase and go into a deep fashion depression.

BUT NO!

I recently bought an organic cleaning book that made me think that there has to be a way to get a shitty old makeup stain off of a shirt.

Actually, I am going to digress for a moment to complain, which is also something I like to do, and I think I do it pretty well. Who are these women that are wearing ten pounds of makeup that soil all the light colored clothing in the world? WHY DO YOU DO THIS? First of all, I don’t think ANYONE needs to wear enough makeup to actually leave a face imprint ala the shroud of Turin. I don’t want to think that someone has tried on my clothing before me, let alone know what they looked like! Secondly–do these people not know how to try on clothing?! I mean, okay, I can understand that sometimes a makeup ring can appear on the collar of a t-shirt or whatever, but the last few shirts I’ve seen that are white have had makeup stains on the front of a button-down shirt! Are they shellacking down with spray makeup all over themselves?

Anyway, so I was pretty bummed about the shirt, but I decided to take a look on the internet to see if I could find an organic way to clean the drips of makeup off the shirt.

The first thing I read about was good old fashioned shaving cream. I don’t know really how it acts when combined with dried liquid makeup, but the website said it works like a charm.

AND IT DOES!

I squeezed some onto my hand and then rubbed it on the stains with a little hot water and then scrubbed with a toothbrush and VOILA! NO MORE STAIN!

So maybe next time you see a shirt or whatever that you’re totally getting a girl boner for, but it has a shitty makeup stain on it, FRET NOT! You can likely just rinse it out at home! Woo!

14 Responses to “When Good Sales Go Bad”


  1. 1 Kbean June 28, 2007 at 5:37 pm

    Um…wow. Glad I don’t wear ten pounds of make-up or you’d be coming after my butt.

    I’m a natural beauty. So if I wear make up, it’s a little bit. *flips hair*

    Lol😄

  2. 2 Katy June 28, 2007 at 5:45 pm

    Ewwww…makeup stains. There are so many things about trying on clothes that gross me out. Like bathing suits. That little plastic strip they put on the crotch part is SO GROSS! It’s pretty much worse than NOT putting it on there because they’re always peeling off and dirty. I never try on bathing suits, anymore, I just wash them at home right away.

    What do bathing suit crotch strips have to do with your post? Not much! LOL! Thanks for the shaving cream tip, though!

  3. 3 LMizzle June 28, 2007 at 5:49 pm

    I agree with you though, Katy! Those are nasty. It’s like they are attempting to keep your crotch safe, when really all you can do is keep your underwear on.

    Man, it’s sick to even think about putting a bathing suit on after someone else has who put it on with NO underwear underneath. EUUUGH! Hahahaha.

  4. 4 Princess Pointful June 28, 2007 at 6:44 pm

    H&M…. *drools*.
    You better be ready for our massive suburb roadtrips so I can get my hit!

    I seriously don’t get people who wear any entire base of foundation. The whole idea of having one’s entire face covered seems stifling.

  5. 5 Anonymous June 28, 2007 at 7:32 pm

    I can’t comment on the whole makeup thing, but the heels…can you just cut a bit off each one? Or would that be very uncool?

    AMC

  6. 6 LMizzle June 28, 2007 at 7:55 pm

    PP- Oh you know it. Oh baby I can’t wait.

    AMC- I think if I cut the heel off that it would make the front of the heel bend upwards creating kind of a witch shoe. I like to bitch, but really it’s pretty easy to find a nice pair of black heels.

    Except when you dog eats them…

  7. 7 Goodboy Norman Featherstone June 28, 2007 at 8:07 pm

    Whoah. Those are some crazy high heels.

  8. 8 psychgrad June 28, 2007 at 8:33 pm

    Nice tip! Does it work for deodorant too?

  9. 9 LMizzle June 28, 2007 at 9:36 pm

    Deoroant stains can be taken out with vinegar, vodka, or with salt! Here are some tips to get deodorant stains out:
    http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/217292/nontoxic_ways_to_remove_deodorant_stains.html

  10. 10 LMizzle June 28, 2007 at 9:37 pm

    wait, damnit, that didn’t work! Agh!

    I’ll just cut and paste…

    Salt will remove many deodorant stains. It is safe to use salt on colored as well as white clothing. Get the t-shirt wet and sprinkle salt on the stains. Let it sit, overnight if possible. Just before washing, scrub the stained wet t-shirt with a little more salt before throwing in the washing machine. The salt will not harm the rest of the clothing. If the stained item can be placed in the sun and kept wet, it will be even more effective at stain removal.

    Vodka is also an effective stain remover and works well on deodorant stains. Just pour some vodka on the stain before washing. Rub in a bit. If the deodorant stain is substantial or has already been put in the dryer, let the vodka sit for at least a couple of hours. There is no need to rinse out the vodka before adding the shirt to the washer. There will be no alcohol smell in your laundry after the rinse cycle.

    Vinegar is another safe, effective way to remove deodorant stains from clothing. Simply rub the stained area with vinegar. Add the stained shirt to the washing machine with the rest of the clothing. An added benefit to using vinegar in the washing machine is that vinegar also softens clothes.

  11. 11 tjam June 28, 2007 at 9:59 pm

    I know your all granola and stuff but oxyclean is the shit for any stain. If you leave it on long enough it even takes the color out of your garment!

  12. 12 Christine June 29, 2007 at 5:52 am

    Ha ha! You used boner in both your posts today!

  13. 13 psychgrad June 29, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    Awesome. Thanks for the tips on deodorant stains. I personally use the clear stuff, but I often find the white lines on shirts after buying them and bringing them home.

  14. 14 Ultra Toast Mosha God July 2, 2007 at 7:33 pm

    That is a pretty good look for Madonna


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