Archive for May 25th, 2007

A Crisis in Your Backyard.

I just read this and I thought I’d share it.  It’s kind of a part two to the rant I made about donating to charity I suppose…

I read a lot about all of the people that we help in our shelters, and I pass a lot of that information onto people who want to donate and are looking for an organization that takes care of their money, but I know that people still get left behind, and some people need a lot more help than we can give.  I think there are some who are very resistant to help to begin with, and it makes me feel awful.  I read this particular comment on a newscaster’s blog after she stayed at our shelter overnight to gain insight.  I put my comments in blue.


There are numerous resources out there but unfortunately I suspect the success rate for women leaving an abusive relationship is not a very high number. Not because women don't truly want a different life, but the supports are just not there.


(It takes most women eight times before they permanently leave an abusive partner)

You are given 21 days in a shelter – if you are lucky enough to get a bed. It is much harder for a single women to get a bed – they are told to go to the drop in center. In this time you are expected to find work or get welfare and find a new home. If you can't work and welfare refuses you assistance (which they will do if you do not have a place to live) and the wait list for subsidized housing is several years but because they do not have any units to meet your needs, in effect leaving you at the bottom of the list – you go back to being abused. On the 21st day the shelter throws you out onto the street like a piece of trash. (This is after shelter workers have allowed other clients during your stay to physically assault you and verbally abuse you. I was told if I phoned the police to charge another woman who attacked me for no reason I would no longer have a bed. This same abusive women was allowed to make racist comments against myself and other women.)


(though I am sure that some women DO abuse others in shelters, there have been no incidences like this at the shelter I work at.  I am sure this happens and that people get abused in shelters, but to use the shelter that I work at as an example is just plain lying.  I removed the name of my shelter because, well, this is a blog, and pretty much anyone can look it up.  I don’t know what shelter this woman stayed at otherwise, but a counsellor who abused a client would be out on their ass faster than someone could come in.  And no, we don’t throw women out after 21 days in our emergency shelter, but they do have a 21 day stay, and then we try to find them resources to help them get back to a more normal life.)

You go to counseling but the therapists I get don't help me. They can't reach the depths of my trauma or pain because they just are not skilled enough to understand the complexities of my past and present life. People are often shocked that I have survived my childhood. I am too much work for therapists and they just can't cope


(Frankly I just feel awful that this woman hasn’t been able to find someone to help her, but there are also barriers that people like this put up, making it difficult to tap into the deeper issues)

Places like _______and _____ Mary Dover will not accept disabled/chronical ill people into their programs. How does a person who requires a controlled housing environment and special diets live with other women? Services will not accommodate such individuals not only because of the lack of understanding but also liability reasons.

(Sadly, this is true—to an extent.  We accept disabled to the point that they do not need 24 hour medical care.  We also cannot have anyone who needs oxygen here because pure oxygen is highly flammable.  I wish there WAS enough money to create housing to house the ill and the disabled, as well as those struggling with many other troubles, but sadly the government feels that social services aren’t as important as taking private jets to get to conferences)

My choices are get abused to keep a roof over my head or live on the street. Either way I am dead. The only control I have in my life it choosing to end my own life so at least i have dignity in death.

When I hear success stories of other women, I am grateful that there is one less person in hell. But success stories are deceiving to the public at large when who look at the number of women who do not thrive and the number of women who are being turned when they ask for help.


I don’t really know what I could say to the last portion of this.  I wish reality weren’t like this, but sadly there it is…

On having my mouth assaulted.

Ah yes friends, I am sitting at my desk with half of a frozen head after spending an hour and a half getting some cavities filled.  As if it’s not awesome enough to even HAVE cavities, I get to sit around not being able to drink or really eat for the next hour as well! Luckily it’s all for the best, and I will be enjoying some delicious nachos later tonight while I watch Johnny Depp prance around in the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie!

I have to say that frankly, this is the most wonderful dentist I’ve ever had.  She’s fast, does really excellent work, and is really nice to boot!  Thank goodness for that because if I had to have a crappy dentist for all of my cavities, I’d probably poop my pants and pass out.

I currently look like I have received a really terrible Botox injection as I can only muster a half smile.  I’m frozen up to my eyelid!  It’s always weird touching your face when it’s frozen like that because for the first time you get a sense of how it feels to touch your face from someone else’s point of view.  It’s very strange.

Actually, the only really bad thing about this is that I can’t drink anything because there are no straws here.  Oh how I am lustfully glancing at my delicious kiwi strawberry beverage….when will I finally get to CONSUME YOU??!??!

On sort of the same topic, I was talking to a co-worker about teeth.  She noted that she thinks it’s entirely all too useless to have such weak teeth.  Why do humans have to go through all of this dentistry if animals don’t?  You don’t see a deer walking around filling other deer’s teeth, right?

Then she said that she thought it was silly to brush a dog’s teeth since they are animals.

I come from the place where I, personally think that it will save you money in the long run if you brush your dog’s teeth.  They get cavities too!  Plus, humans eat a lot more crap, and live a hell of a lot longer than other beings.  Yeah, some or all of our teeth will eventually drop out, but I think we do pretty good for how long we generally live!

You don’t see a deer complaining about a toothache or cavity for one, because it doesn’t know it has a cavity, two, a deer can’t complain in English or any language for that matter, and three, a deer doesn’t get to eat candy, or drink pop or lattes, or eat delicious, delicious nachos.

If there is a deer out there like that, I’d like to meet them because that would be pretty great.

Celebrity Look-a-Likes!

It actually took me a while to figure these out, but I think I managed to capture the right people! I got tagged by Bently & Nico to name some celebs that my doggies look like:

I think Zelda looks like Amy Winehouse. They can both get pretty mad sometimes, and they both like pink!
Then there’s Winston. I think it was an obvious choice here:
Spunky, happy, go-lucky, it’s all there.

I tag Meimei and Miko,Panda, and Ronin!

May 2007
2728293031 collective fashion consciousness.