When is the last time any of you had the apparently “trans fat-free” deliciousness of an animal cracker in your tummy? You know how long it’s been? TOO LONG. I was grocery shopping last night and found myself amongst the bulk food aisles. Usually there’s nothing in these bins that I really care for, except for the occasional sour soother and malted milk ball. But then I saw it. A zoo of delicious little flavorless cookies just waiting to be scooped up into the arc of my mouth. At $0.33 per 100 grams, you really can’t go wrong.
I decided to separate a few wild animals from the group and take them to work with me as a humorous snack. As I’ve been eating them though, I have come across a disturbing realization: I can only tell what one of the animals is! I keep picking up so-called animals from my baggie of delight and wondering what, if anything, this cracker is supposed to be? The one I have right now looks like a fat man bent over, ready to reenact a scene from Deliverance! Where are my giraffes, my elephants, my lions?! They have been replaced by what appears to be a one-eyed camel, a fat guy, and Jabba the Hut. Let me tell you, that would make for a much stranger visit to the community zoo if those characters were present!