Archive for March 2nd, 2007

Fall from grace and landing on your face! (and losing a shoe!)

I have a few interesting stories to tell all of you. First, last night I witnessed probably the best comedy sketch-esque trip and fall I have seen in all my life! I was at the grocery store with Steve when we realized we didn’t have a loonie to put into the cart! Silly us! We went inside to see if we could get one, and after we did, we headed by accident towards the entrance instead of the exit. This was probably the best decision we ever made because we took about five steps and this person (more like a blur) came out of NOWHERE and was almost in flight as they propelled towards a half wall. He was basically doing the running man in mid-air…hands waving all over, feet like jelly. It was like watching a Dane Cook sketch come to life! This dude fell so wildly he actually LOST A SHOE! Then, when this guy got up, it turns out that he was this mid-50s little Asian dude! AMAZING!!! I thought it was a drunk hobo and Steve thought it was a kid just farting around. Now, all this maybe happened in three seconds, but this was seriously the most entertaining three seconds of my week. He even got up so quickly that we didn’t see if he got his shoe back or not! HE LOST A SHOE!!! I still can’t get over that.
When we got outside we both burst into laughter at the fact that his plummet was so ridiculous. Not to say I wasn’t worried about the guy, but it was truly the craziest trip I have seen in a long time! What is it about humans that they can’t help but laugh when someone is being hurt? I don’t mean like choking your kids to death is funny, but when people slip and fall, generally people laugh. Isn’t that what America’s Funniest Videos is all about?!
Also, as a side story to this amazing fall, as we were driving to the grocery store I pointed out to Steve that there was a completely random sign on the side of a small mini-mall that said simply, “Colon Hydrotherapy 348-5848.” Okay, that’s not the number, just in case you were thinking of calling. Anyhow, it’s just this simple sign that takes up a fair amount of space on the side of this mini-mall, and every time I drive by, I can’t help but wonder who put it there! Is it a joke? Did someone paint over some words??? Well Steve managed to solve my query. He actually called the number on the sign inquiring as to what exactly colon hydrotherapy is. A woman with a thick accent proceeded to tell him that colon hydrotherapy is when you basically get an hour long enema where they wash about 45 LITRES of water through your bowels to “freshen you up.” One hour costs $70. Steve asked if this procedure was regulated by a physician or health care professional, and she said, “Yes, a colon hydrotherapist.” Someone HAS THAT JOB?! Wow. He then asked her if they have to go to school for that, and she gave a “yeah yeah” response.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t see 45 litres of water flushing out my pooper as being a good way to spend an hour, but maybe there’s someone who is into that stuff. I’m pretty sure this “colon hydrotherapist” wasn’t medically trained though, and it’s pretty fishy when you have to call a random sign on a building with no other information on it just to find out what this procedure is all about.
All I know is, I’m glad I don’t have to have a business card with “colon hydrotherapist” on it!

March 2007
25262728293031 collective fashion consciousness.