TP and You: Getting to the Bottom of Things.

I am a curious person by nature. I need to know things. Something happened yesterday that made me think of a question for you.

So I go into the staff bathroom and head into my usual stall (the one farthest from the door, because the one closest gets a LOT of traffic. Namely poo traffic, and I’m not about that.

Anyhow, as I walk in, I see that this woman who I work with is washing her hands. I know for a fact that she also prefers my secret stall of happiness, but I go into the stall anyway. Sadly, our toilets don’t flush as good as they could (I mean, we’re a nonprofit for Pete’s sake! We don’t have money for new fancy toilets!). This means I am faced with a dilemma. I can either embarrass the woman washing her hands, or I can flush for her, OR I can just potty on over top of the TP left and flush. While deciding, I noticed that she folded her TP in a particular way.
She grabs say 2 feet of TP, and then she folds it over and over—making it look like a little novel! I didn’t know so much skill could go into toilet paper management!
I went home later that day and discussed with Steve.

He had an entirely different method all together! I don’t know how much he wants to share, so I’ll just keep his TP habits out of it until he comments, but I am here to tell you that I don’t do either of the things I saw/heard about.

I am a buncher. I just grab oh…an arms length let’s say, and then I just crumple and get to business. Every bunch only gets one “go” at me, so sometimes I grab a second helping. I always bunch it though, I’m not a folder. To me, folding is too much of a time consuming business considering what I’m going to do to it. I just can’t justify it.

I also prefer that the toilet paper roll have the TP go over the top, not out from the bottom. My sister agrees on this.
My question to you is, have you ever heard of another “technique” in the bathroom? It seems like some people have quite the elaborate process from what I’ve been told. I also know that people are QUITE particular on how the TP should come off the roll. What’s your view?

19 Responses to “TP and You: Getting to the Bottom of Things.”

  1. 1 Steve V February 28, 2007 at 8:44 pm

    I like to use 3 squares at a time.
    but it’s the non-scored/cheap public toilet paper, I like to use and arms-length at a time and use the “Catcher Mitt” method

  2. 2 Pug Mommy February 28, 2007 at 9:14 pm

    I am a bunch and go kind of girl. However, I have seen evidence of this “folding method”. I think that just takes entirely too much time!

    PS. Nappy’s hystiocytoma thing just slowly shrunk and now he just has a light spot where the bump was on his lip. When I took him to the vet, she said to keep an eye on it and if it got bigger or kept looking “angry” to bring him back in, but his got better.

  3. 3 Manda Girl February 28, 2007 at 10:02 pm

    Do you know what’s funny – I was thinking about a bathroom post today too!!

    I’m a buncher – and over the top. So, my question was – I was in the bathroom this afternoon and someone was in the stall next to me putting the paper on the seat, getting things primed up. That seems like a lot of work to me and I just sit and do my thing.

    What do you do? Paper or plastic?

  4. 4 susan February 28, 2007 at 10:29 pm

    LOL I’m just surfing around avoiding what I really need to do…this post cracks me up!!!

    Since you asked, I just grab a glob and get to work. TP usually goes over, but I don’t wig out if someone (anyone!) else changes the roll and does it under.

    I don’t bother with the paper on the seat…if the seat is nasty I just chose another or work my leg muscles.

  5. 5 Christine March 1, 2007 at 12:08 am

    Over the top off the roll, and I’m a buncher all the way. I’ve tried folding but it doesn’t work as well. I’d like as few wipes as possible and nothing beats a bunch. I guess it’s all in the texture and increased surface area.

  6. 6 Princess Pointful March 1, 2007 at 1:23 am

    Wow. I never knew there were different techniques.
    I also didn’t know I was so boring– buncher and over!

  7. 7 LMizzle March 1, 2007 at 5:35 am

    I’m with Amanda, just sit down on the seat and go!

  8. 8 Ultra Toast Mosha God March 1, 2007 at 11:59 am

    I must be some kind of freak.

    I will wipe and fold, then wipe and fold until I can wipe and fold no more – one sheet at a time.

    This is my contribution to preventing Global Warming – by reducing my carbon footprint, or something.

  9. 9 Suki March 1, 2007 at 12:54 pm

    Buncher-no preference on the way it comes off the roll, though. And if it’s a public bathroom, I have to line it with tp….just too nasty to sit! My husband is a “folder”. He’ll fold three pieces and have them all lined up and ready. Weirdo.

  10. 10 LMizzle March 1, 2007 at 3:43 pm

    Man, that’s the same thing Steve does! Perhaps men are just folders and the ladies are the bunchers based on anatomy…

  11. 11 Hollie March 1, 2007 at 4:49 pm

    I think I’m a freak too

    Cause I not only fold, I roll it, into a thin flat roll. I don’t know why the hell I do this… and I’ve never thought about it. It only uses 4 squares max

    I do arrange my rolls so that it comes off over the top, and no lining for me (unless it as a particularly nasty toilet) I and afraid the liner will cause me to slip off!

  12. 12 LMizzle March 1, 2007 at 4:59 pm

    Yeah I think that’s the bad thing about ripping sheets to cover the toilet seat. You might as well bring an antibacterial wipe in the stall with you or something!

  13. 13 Sandra March 1, 2007 at 6:00 pm

    My grandmother taught me very little while I was growing up, but I remember once when I was very little her taking me into the bathroom and instructing me to wipe, and fold, and wipe, and fold, so as to minimize the amount of toilet paper I used. She came from South America, you see, so if you think the toilets at your work are bad, the ones there can’t even flush toilet paper. They just throw it in the garbage. Le gross.

    Anyway, she and I fought a lot so I think to spite her I turned into a buncher, although her method makes sense to me.

  14. 14 Sandra March 1, 2007 at 6:02 pm

    Steve, I’m afraid to ask, but what’s the catcher’s mitt method?

    If a bathroom has crappy one-ply paper I’ll usually just hold it.

  15. 15 John March 1, 2007 at 6:50 pm

    I’m so with Toast on this one. Start off with 3 or 4 sheets, fold & wipe and keep going until you either can’t fold any more or it gets too close to your fingers for comfort.

    Save the world! Use less crap paper!

  16. 16 Lorkeet March 1, 2007 at 8:25 pm

    Crunch, bunch and wipe. Full stop.

    You AND YOUR SISTER couldn’t BE more wrong about the over/under issue. Our friendship has nearly ended over this. Each time we use the bathroom at eachother’s houses we change the way the paper comes off the roll. It’s kinda “our thing.” I see from the other posts that I am in the minority here. C’mon other unders – help me out or I’ll never hear the end of it from Lmizzle’s sister!

    Re: to cover or not. Not. Do you personally know of anyone who has ever caught anything from a public washroom seat? Hovering is close to exercising and I refuse to cave into that fad.

  17. 17 minus March 1, 2007 at 8:51 pm

    I fold. Actually, I make semi-oragmi like structures out of the TP. I also like the lay down a thick bed of TP on the seat, when using public restrooms. If I could bomb the stall with some weapons grade anti-bacterial Lysol, I’d do so in a rabbit’s heartbeat.

    As Amanda mentioned, we’re a over-the-top household. I’m really anal about that.


  18. 18 No Name Pug March 2, 2007 at 4:08 pm

    Hmmm no preference really on over or under, cause in our flat we’ve been so lazy as to not have installed a loo roll holder (and we’ve been there almost 2 years). It just sits on the stand. But if there is a design on the TP, then it makes sense to me for the end to be over (cause then you can see it!

    Re bunching and folding – haha just thinking about this I am realising am a bit of a freak! If it is a roll, then I grab and end, and roll it round my hand (bout 2 layers), then take it off from around my hand so it’s flat. Then wipe, fold, wipe. No more than twice. If it is those weird tissue type dispensers of square bits, I take three or so and put them on top of each other. then go through the wipe/fold thing. If it’s just a pee, for the tissue dispenser it’s a bunch and wipe, for roll, i guess the roll it round the hand thing is so engrained I do it anyways!

    Am also kind of anal about sitting on seats. I do the exercise hover or if i have to sit, then paper it will little pieces. It’s a bummer if am in a bit of a *ahem* panic, then the bloody things fly off everywhere and I have to do the dance whilst I re-lay it all.

    Still – the exercise stuff comes well in handy if you ever travel around to places without the porcelain throne. Keep those quad muscles toned my friends, it comes well in handy if you’re caught short in the bushes or a coma-inducing-stench of hell Tibetan toilet.

  19. 19 LMizzle March 2, 2007 at 6:52 pm

    No Name Pug: Steve does the exact thing that you do! He wraps it around his hand, then pulls it off and makes a little “book.”

    Lorkeet: I seriously think that the paper goes over the top. I’ll be checking the roll at T-Jam’s house tomorrow to see if you change the roll!

    Minus: I just can’t get into taking the time to lay down a bunch of paper before I sit down. Isn’t it slippery?

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February 2007
25262728 collective fashion consciousness.


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