LMizzle Don’t Eat It! (Pizza treat edition!)

Awww yeah. Looks like I have some eatin’ to do!

This box of dog treats have a motivating message on the side of the box:

“GUARANTEED!

Wholesome baked biscuits crammed with goodness you can SEE, SMELL and TASTE”

That’s right folks, these treats are not only filled with goodness, they are friggin’ CRAMMED with goodness. Ahh, that’s the kind of goodness momma used to make.

It also says on the side of the box, “If your dog won’t eat ’em, WE WILL.”

Oh yeah, Lucky Dog employees?! I THINK NOT! NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!!!

Okay, so this flavor is Pizza, which is pretty darn exciting. I didn’t know that dogs really needed pizza in their diet, but I guess that’s the way it goes with gourmet treats these days!

So the ingredients look promising, featuring such delicious items as oatmeal, tomato paste, real roasted chicken broth (as opposed to the hardly mentioned, rubber chicken broth.).

Let’s DO THIS.

Okay, so upon first smell I wouldn’t say it smells so much like pizza as it smells like my grandma’s old basement. It kind of reminds me of office supplies and parsley! Mmmmmm, this is gonna taste like a pen!

Hmmm. This tastes like cheese and something else….like, maybe if I put some cheese on some grass and then put it in the microwave and then munched on it for five minutes and spit it out.

Okay, this one I actually swallowed. It wasn’t TOO bad. I don’t know how they can claim that this is a pizza flavor. There’s a pretty bad aftertaste in my mouth now as well. Like, I can pretty much tell where the treat was on my tongue, and where it wasn’t.

I’d like to see someone eat a whole bowl of these. I bet they’d grow a really manly mustache and some back hair! For now I’ll have to settle with Steve’s mustache and brushing the dogs, then gluing the hair to my own back.

C’est la vie!

6 Responses to “LMizzle Don’t Eat It! (Pizza treat edition!)”


  1. 1 Suki February 8, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    Hahaha! You’re so funny! I can’t believe you ate it! Suki seems to not like the gourmet stuff, like from 3 Dog Bakery. She likes the really fake treats.

  2. 2 Ultra Toast Mosha God February 8, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    Why are you eating animal food?

    I want to see you nosh a tin of cat food next.

  3. 3 LMizzle February 8, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    You’ll have to read the first installment of “LMizzle, don’t eat it!” to find out!

    I dunno about cat food. I’m willing to eat anything that has human ingredients, but after feeding Bella organic cat food and seeing fish bits slide out of a little bag onto her plate….oh man.

  4. 4 Princess Pointful February 8, 2007 at 7:42 pm

    I want to see the research that determined that dogs really like pizza.
    I guess dogs (pugs in particular) really like anything. You could have “expired bus tickets, rain water, and old cinammon flavoured gum scraped from the sidewalk” flavoured treats, and they would eat them.

    I think you should let us decide what’s next on the list!

  5. 5 ROENTGEN February 9, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    well well well. we got a descent package design, so … let’s just ignore taste. good flavors for dogs. yay. vire la champagne

  6. 6 My Pugs Blogger February 9, 2007 at 4:06 pm

    Something with peanut butter…


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