Immaculate Pickle! ***(photos updated!)***

NOTE: Okay, I changed the photo load point, so let me know if you can see the magical pickle!! I bet the pickle had something to do with the photos not loading anyways…

Let me tell you the magical story of my mysterious late-night snack. A pickle. Sure, you’re probably saying, “pfft, pickles aren’t so great.” I BEG TO DIFFER!
Last night when I was enjoying a delicious snack of Vlassic Kosher Garlic Dill Pickles, I bit into a very special pickle. A pickle THAT WAS LOOKING BACK AT ME.

I proceeded to eat this immaculate pickle while it stared back at me, but I was constantly distracted by the mixed emotions of fear and hunger. Why was this pickle smiling at me? Did it know I was really hungry? Was it going to give me bad gas? Did Timmy fall down the well???!?!


As I kept eating my mysterious pickle of magic, I noticed that with each bite, the pickle expression changed. My pickle seemed to be in a glass cage of emotion. Unable to speak, yet doesn’t an expression sometimes say more?

Yes. You may have a face, but I am hungry for pickles, dear green friend.

Pickle, wherever you are in my digestive tract, just know how much I loved you. Even though you just smiled at me while I ripped you apart, you have a special pickle place in my heart.

I think maybe Winston could sense the special nature of this particular jar of pickles, because he was barking at it for a good 15 minutes, and won’t go anywhere near it as illustrated above by Steve chasing Winston around the apartment with a jar of magic pickles!

I’ll leave you to make your own conclusions. Next time you eat a pickle, just remember to smile back.


12 Responses to “Immaculate Pickle! ***(photos updated!)***”

  1. 1 Steve January 19, 2007 at 10:46 pm


  2. 2 Manda Girl January 19, 2007 at 11:31 pm

    Dude – I just want you to know that Pickles are Cucumbers soaked in evil!!!!! BEWARE!

  3. 3 Kennie January 20, 2007 at 12:15 am

    OMG! evil pickle alert! ahhhh! back away, back away!

  4. 4 ROENTGEN January 20, 2007 at 11:33 am

    Gurken alert!

    Lurve that story. Now, next time go for a magic fried egg (we call that “mirror egg” in german) and aks it who’s the prettiest girl in town.

    (you didn’t get to make photos of that distracting pickle, didn’t you?)

  5. 5 Paula January 20, 2007 at 2:17 pm

    LOL…..I got to read the tale, but pictures aren’t coming in for me. I still had a great visual explanation and could imagine it all.

  6. 6 Princess Pointful January 20, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    Pictures don’t work for me, either :(.

    Was there any dire consequences? Did you wake up soaked in brine, with pickles dancing around you chanting “You are one of us now!” ?

    Side note- I love dill pickles more than anything. I can seriously go through a jar by myself in a week, no problem. My sodium content is through the roof as a result!

  7. 7 LMizzle January 20, 2007 at 9:03 pm

    Sorry that the photos weren’t working folks, but hopefully they are back up now!!!

    ROENTGEN: what’s a magic fried egg?! Could it befriend my magic pickle?! Does it come from a magic chicken?! I WANT STORIES!!!

    Princess Pointful: I also love dill pickles. I fucking HATE sweet pickles though. So gross. I used to hate those times at my grandma’s house when I thought there were dill pickles on the table at lunch, and then I bit into a sweet pickle. THE WORST THING EVER.

  8. 8 Kara January 20, 2007 at 10:58 pm

    Why would eat that? You could have sold each bite for millions on eBay if you said you were sure each face was a different apostle, Mary or Jesus. Consult me first before eating the next food you find with a face in it!

  9. 9 Manda Girl January 21, 2007 at 3:23 am

    still no pics for me… ;(

  10. 10 LMizzle January 21, 2007 at 8:14 am

    WHAAAAT. This is just bananas. Damn pickles!!!

  11. 11 ROENTGEN January 21, 2007 at 10:10 am

    That magic fried egg is said something to be very near to the holy grail. I heard it is laid by a mysterious, barfing P.A. of a crooked noodle cook. Very very mysterious. Not to say very “monopterious”.

    Were these supposed to be pickle photos? Doesn’t really work huh… 😦

  12. 12 Ultra Toast Mosha God January 21, 2007 at 10:19 am

    Me neither. I can’t see any pictures

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January 2007
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28293031 collective fashion consciousness.



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