Archive for September 11th, 2006


I bought this for the dog, but his head is too fat…but look at the fun I discovered when I realized the cat would tolerate it!

Here we have Miss Bella Sushi Meow Meow sporting a lovely devil hood…a must have for this fall season.

Check it out, dudes.

My sister’s friend Candace gave me a doggie carrier! HILLARIOUS! Now I can carry him around on my belly! Steve’s such a good doggy dad.

She also gave us a car seat for the dog, which will save me from letting Winston sit on my shoulders in the car! THANK YOU CANDACE!!!


This is officially the first (and maybe the last) picture of a whale that I’ve actually found CUTE.

An Apple a Day…Makes me Gassy.

When I have free time, I like to write. That’s why I got a blog. Maybe someone out there in the wild, blue internet will connect with my words in some way and they will be better for it.
Writing things down calms me. It gives my brain a chance to set things in order and to make my thoughts somewhat more tangible, even if they are only words on paper. I think writing has helped my anxiety and depression a lot. Certainly this blog has!
I suppose having anxiety and depression means I experience the world in a completely different way than others. I thought as something to soothe my mind this evening (considering there are 3 hours left of work and I am done everything) that I would explain what it’s like to live in my head.
Try to imagine you are a part of a world somewhat like the Jetsons. Do you remember how amazing all of those flying cars were?! I like to think of each word I think being one of those flying cars, which are strung into a sentence, thus creating a line of thought. Sometimes these lines continue into the great beyond. Some are short. I remember a time before I had been on medication where it felt like each piece of traffic—each thought were going about my brain with great speed, and when I noticed this, the speed only increased. I’m not sure how someone would even normally think. I usually have several things drifting through my head at once, but back when I didn’t know anything was wrong these thoughts would begin to compete. Think of hundreds of strands of thoughts increasing in speed so rapidly that eventually you can’t even make out a single word and things start to crash. I still get that feeling sometimes. Too many things happening too rapidly. Too many worries and thoughts competing for attention.
It would be really nice to have some sort of filing system. Some way to organize all of the things I think about. A large room that looks like the filing system you see at the doctor where I can go and pick out files from time to time and try to finish them.
I suppose it goes without saying that I get a LOT of headaches from this! It can grow worse and worse and my head will pound harder and harder trying to process it all, but nothing will work.
I find this happens a lot when I am alone. I don’t mind being alone. I don’t mind being with my thoughts. It’s just that sometimes the flood gates fail me and I am left drowning in an ocean of unfinished thoughts. There I am floating in a sea of letters with few resources to get out.
I have my ways of getting out of this pattern though. When I was in school I would immerse myself so hard in my coursework that I couldn’t possibly focus on anything else. This was my dream solution considering how much I loved to study! Sadly, over the past few months I have had to get into a lifestyle where I won’t be forced to do homework ever again. Students wait their whole lives to get out into the real world…don’t they?


Oh Steve! Remember when I photoshopped over David Hasselhoff and put your face there instead?! I think I was doing this during a class we were in…I’m not sure. What I AM sure of, is that you’re awesome.
For those of you who don’t know Steve R, let me tell you a little bit about him.

1. Today is his birthday
2. I met him when we had to do a small group activity and my group decided to name a rather fascist nonprofit organization after him.
3. We proceeded to do every group project together during our time in college
4. I’ve known him for three years
5. We went on a magical vacation together to Vancouver where we encountered a variety of hillarious and very embarassing moments which I will save either of us the embarassment of re-living right now!
6. We liked to talk to eachother on our laptops even though we always sat right next to each other in every class
7. Our friend Eric once told us that we “make him gassy”
8. He is forever immortalized in a video advertising our faculty to the world
9. He shaved his head for cancer, but before he let the girl shave his head, he requested that the woman first shave his head so that he looked like a bald, 40 year old man. I think I have since lost the amazing photos of this…awwww
10. He’s one of my best pals whom I don’t get to see enough

In conclusion: Steve is a rad friend. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

September 2006
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24252627282930 collective fashion consciousness.