"I’ll have a tall glass of ice cold milk, please!"

I was just at the Tim Horton’s across from my house and I watched (because the lineup was LONG-ASS) someone ordering.

“I’ll have a small milk.”

Uhhhh…okay, maybe it’s just me, but when I go to a coffee shop I’m not thinking, “FUCK YEAH! I WANT SOME 2% MILK, Y’ALL!!!!”

I don’t get people who do that. When I worked at Starbucks people would order milk, GROWN people…well, except for the creepy dude who worked at The Brick and would always order a kid’s hot chocolate…that was just off the wall. If I’m going out, i want something fucking crazy delicious to drink, not just a plain ol’ squeeze off a cow’s teet.

Yes, I’ll admit it…when I worked at Starbucks I DID drink glasses of milk. I love milk! You must remember that as many free drinks as you can ingest can get a little filling, and sometimes a lady just needs some plain moo juice. I also lost 10 pounds after I quit there…hmmmmm…

anyhow, these grown-baby people who order milk are pretty must the weirdest thing ever. Except for maybe Liza Minelli or however you spell her name. That picture of her kissing her now ex-husband like a whale engulfing the OCEAN?!?! Whoa.

Anyhow, that’s just me.

3 Responses to “"I’ll have a tall glass of ice cold milk, please!"”


  1. 1 Ultra Toast Mosha God July 17, 2006 at 9:49 am

    I’m going to wish you a happy birthday for tomorrow right about..

    NOW!

    I’m working on a timezone based theory, you see.

    I only drink milk in the privacy of my own home where it will not offend others.

    These public milk drinkers should be rounded up and killed for their meat.

    Is that too harsh?

  2. 2 messiah July 17, 2006 at 3:26 pm

    sometimes, it just about getting out of the house.

    (and maybe they just can’t handle their coffee. you wouldn’t want to promote something awful happening, like the whole mcdonalds coffee-crotch fiasco now….)

  3. 3 PIE! July 17, 2006 at 8:00 pm

    This is true. If you’re forking over the bucks already, why not get something a little more exciting?

    Also, I had nightmares after I saw Liza Minelli getting her face siphoned by that dude. Shouldn’t they have a viewer’s discretion before broadcasting images that disturbing around supper time???

    YECH.


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