That all DEPENDS

So I spent the day with a room full of seniors at Heritage Park. For those who don’t know what Heritage park is, it’s pretty much a park filled with a bunch of houses from the EARLY 1900s. Everyone is dressed in period costume as well. It’s good, EDUCATIONAL times. I can’t say I’d ever buy a seasons pass, but it’s a good time.
Anyhow, we had a “thanks old volunteers” event today that wasn’t planned by my department. It was a bit of an unorganized disaster, but I think my team pulled it off reasonably well considering the circumstances.
You know how there are some feisty, fun-loving seniors, and then there are the seniors that look like they’re pretty much already dead? I’m pretty sure I was at the dead table. Okay, there were some fiftysomethings there too, but MAN…I don’t think I could even tell you what they were talking about.

I am sad this week because TO CATCH A PREDATOR is being pre-empted for a TV special interview with Britney Spears. FUCK THAT! I want to watch pervs get arrested!

Also, a few weeks ago I was talking about taxidermy. I was talking about this to a higher-up at work because the location of the event had an enormous elk head on the wall. She asked, “I wonder if you can taxidermy PEOPLE?”

“uhhh, yeah, Lenin’s body is encased in glass…”

“REALLY?!”

HOLY SHIT! She had never heard about THAT?! WTF?

What I want to know is, where do you buy a fake moose tongue? How do you put that on your resume?!

credentials:

I sold fox, deer, and moose tongues for 36 years.

I don’t know if selling tongues is really a transferrable skill…

5 Responses to “That all DEPENDS”


  1. 1 Blondie June 16, 2006 at 1:32 am

    Yes *ahem* I um….yeah…I knew that about Lenin… *ahem* um…doesn’t EVERYONE? (looks around nervously)

  2. 2 Okami June 16, 2006 at 1:40 pm

    I don’t know if selling tongues is really a transferable skill…

    I think you may have discredited the world’s oldest profession there my dear…why, without that transferable skill, many of the world’s historic whores wouldn’t have been able to jiggle their way across the pages of history.

    (*sorry you got stuck in the rain*)

  3. 3 messiah June 16, 2006 at 3:30 pm

    i don’t know if he’s still on display. he was a national treasure – it was interesting to stand in line and file past. a little freaky, a little cool. had that holy feeling you usually only see in church.

    if you really want to know about where to buy moose tongue, i can probably get you a specific name/address, but i’d guess most taxidermy shops sell them.

    (isn’t tongue a transferable skill?)

  4. 4 Xrayeagle June 19, 2006 at 6:23 am

    I really don’t want to know why you need a Moose tongue – perv!

    I got called a punk kid by an old lady!

    I also saw a sign for a taxadermy buisness!

    weird!

  5. 5 Ultra Toast Mosha God June 19, 2006 at 11:31 am

    Well, if you can sell tongues, you can sell anything.

    I would gladly put this on my CV if I were in the sales trade.

    It’s a stand out qualification


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