What in the world happened to Richard Simmons…

Dear Richard Simmons,

Where are you? I was watching tv the other day and thought about you. Last time I gave a good ponder to a washed-up celebrity, Queen Latifah actually became popular again. Perhaps if I wish hard enough, you will re-appear like a sweatin’ to the oldies fairy?

Dear Bella,

Why did you wake me up at 4:00am this morning? You know I have to get up at 5am for that shift! I plan to tire you out tonight with a strict regime of kitty play time so I can get some sleep!

Dear hairdresser,

I love you, and my hair! Yessssss!!!

Dear co-workers from my full-time job,

You people are the funniest women I’ve met! There’s nothing like being able to say that I rode a roller coaster with my boss!

Dear printer at my other job,

I want to smash you to bits. You fucking suck.

Dear *Double D,

You are pretty much the biggest douchebag I’ve ever met. Why did you re-appear into our lives today? You’re about as smart as my cat’s litter box, so don’t act like you’re my boss.

Dear Steve R,

Return my damn phone calls!

2 Responses to “What in the world happened to Richard Simmons…”


  1. 1 Okami June 5, 2006 at 1:58 pm

    Dear LMizzle,

    Mr. simmons was on Entertainment Tonight last week trying to save a scary huge woman from dying because people were sneaking hamburgers to her in the hospital.

    And yes – he still wears the short-shorts.

    (Best memo list EVER, by the way)

  2. 2 Sandra June 10, 2006 at 7:02 pm

    I’d venture to say that the Double D is probably neck and neck with the aptly nicknamed “Douchebag” that you roomed with at the BC last summer.

    They tie eachother in the Douchebag Games.


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