Dear Richard Simmons,
Where are you? I was watching tv the other day and thought about you. Last time I gave a good ponder to a washed-up celebrity, Queen Latifah actually became popular again. Perhaps if I wish hard enough, you will re-appear like a sweatin’ to the oldies fairy?
Why did you wake me up at 4:00am this morning? You know I have to get up at 5am for that shift! I plan to tire you out tonight with a strict regime of kitty play time so I can get some sleep!
I love you, and my hair! Yessssss!!!
Dear co-workers from my full-time job,
You people are the funniest women I’ve met! There’s nothing like being able to say that I rode a roller coaster with my boss!
Dear printer at my other job,
I want to smash you to bits. You fucking suck.
Dear *Double D,
You are pretty much the biggest douchebag I’ve ever met. Why did you re-appear into our lives today? You’re about as smart as my cat’s litter box, so don’t act like you’re my boss.
Dear Steve R,
Return my damn phone calls!