Archive for June, 2006

So my birthday is coming up…

and my sister asked me what I wanted, then yelled at me when I couldn’t think of anything. You know, just in case anyone else is…you know…going to get me anything…this is a good place to get ideas…

a sushi pillow!

a hair dryer, because I’m pretty sure mine is going to explode soon, and I don’t want to be bald!

this book:

or this one:

or you know, this book:

DVDs are always good:

and I saw this on Ebay!

So there are some ideas!

I have been a bad blogger this week, but I have bronchitis, so it’s kind of hard to type when you’re always on the verge of sneezing/coughing things up you’ve never seen before!

I went to Opa for greek food today and there were these two guys there that smelled like cock. What’s up with that?!

I watched this special on some dude who built a submarine that looks exactly and moves exactly like a shark. It was pretty awesome…until the shark sunk with him inside of it and no real way out…that was kind of brutal…but he’s alive. Don’t worry.

Also, has anyone seen “So You Think You Can Dance”? It’s pretty much totally awesome.

I’ll be back when I feel less like a zombie!

Things are all a flutter

You know what’s REALLY messed up? Seahorses. Did you know they are considered FISH? What the hell is that?! I really don’t get how a tiny little thing like that is considered a fish. I would be more inclined to classify it as a tiny pony of the sea more than a fish.
My boss hasn’t given me anything to do in a week. Talk about boredom! Oh well, the workplace is jazzy so I’ll live. Anyone got any ideas of how I can pass the time???

So after this work term I’m pretty much out of a full-time job. I decided to apply for a permanent job at my current weeday job. If I get it I’ll be giving presentations that end in “hey, give us money!” I like that. The best part? I actually got to apply to my current boss. I REALLY want the job, holy crap. That would solve a lot of shit.

I finally registered for Japanese! YES! I also looked into flights to Japan and I think if I get this full-time job that I will TRY to go to Japan for a few weeks in April 2007. HOLY CRAP! Can you believe that?! I am actually fulfilling a lifelong dream! I just have to save up some mad cash…like $1500 for a plane ride out there, then you know, another $1000 to spend, then another $1000 for what I’ll miss at work…wait a second…don’t I get paid time off if I’m a real employee? YESSSSSS. Anyhow, I figure if I work till the end of the summer with 2 jobs I should have enough to do this. AWESOME FORCES!!!

Working every day sucks. I want my debt to be gone. What a poop shoot.

I was getting headaches and nausia for like a week and everyone was like, “YOU’RE PREGNANT, AREN’T YOU?!” and I was just about ready to be like, “WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO THE BATHROOM WITH ME?! I WILL PROVE I AM HAVING MY PERIOD!!!” Why is it whenever a chick is nausiated she’s assumed to be pregnant?! You know what the problem was??? My multi-vitamins were making me sick! WHAT THE HELL?!

Man, I am bored out of my fucking skull. I really need to get my ass up and do something. holy crap. I think tonight so far I’ve had a nap and have played with the cat. My life is dullsville!

Things you should know about my cat.


She can make a kitty ball!

She sometimes likes to sit like a fat man.

She enjoys delicious fondue!

She can fly! Ok, she can’t, but she can jump really high…

Things I learned on my weekend away…


This man’s name is Rolf

he is from Sweden

and lives in the trees

and makes sexy wood carvings!

Wolves + Paintings = Totally sexy!

Taking photos in the rain is good.

Shitty Star Trek Enterprise reproductions are amazing.

nacho condiments are delicious!

Sculpters even sculpt testicles.

Sometimes it’s just hammer time.

I take pretty sweet photos.

Isn’t it about time?

I swear I will post about my vacation soon. At the moment I’m wanting to snuggle with my kitty and read one of my books. Sometimes a girl just needs a kitty snuggle!

That all DEPENDS

So I spent the day with a room full of seniors at Heritage Park. For those who don’t know what Heritage park is, it’s pretty much a park filled with a bunch of houses from the EARLY 1900s. Everyone is dressed in period costume as well. It’s good, EDUCATIONAL times. I can’t say I’d ever buy a seasons pass, but it’s a good time.
Anyhow, we had a “thanks old volunteers” event today that wasn’t planned by my department. It was a bit of an unorganized disaster, but I think my team pulled it off reasonably well considering the circumstances.
You know how there are some feisty, fun-loving seniors, and then there are the seniors that look like they’re pretty much already dead? I’m pretty sure I was at the dead table. Okay, there were some fiftysomethings there too, but MAN…I don’t think I could even tell you what they were talking about.

I am sad this week because TO CATCH A PREDATOR is being pre-empted for a TV special interview with Britney Spears. FUCK THAT! I want to watch pervs get arrested!

Also, a few weeks ago I was talking about taxidermy. I was talking about this to a higher-up at work because the location of the event had an enormous elk head on the wall. She asked, “I wonder if you can taxidermy PEOPLE?”

“uhhh, yeah, Lenin’s body is encased in glass…”

“REALLY?!”

HOLY SHIT! She had never heard about THAT?! WTF?

What I want to know is, where do you buy a fake moose tongue? How do you put that on your resume?!

credentials:

I sold fox, deer, and moose tongues for 36 years.

I don’t know if selling tongues is really a transferrable skill…

Takin’ dollars to buy some change

I think that this show, “To Catch a Predator” is pretty much the most hillarious thing on television right now. If you aren’t familiar with this show, I will explain…
This reporter, Chris Hansen, hides in a rented house where this team of people pretend to be 13 year old girls and boys on the internet. These people tell the men they talk to on the internet that their parents are out of town and to come over to have sex. Really there’s no kid waiting, just this 40 year old reporter. HAHAHA. So hillarious. Anyhow, so they’ll get a girl to be a decoy and lure these dudes into the back of these rented houses. While the dudes are waiting for the young kids to come out, Chris Hansen comes out and confronts them.
What kind of honorable men try to sleep with minors?

SPECIALGUY29:

He IS special…

Quite possibly the WIERDEST thing I’ve seen is this guy, who tries to get the “girl” he’s going to have sex with to perform a sex act on a CAT…(don’t worry, no cats were hurt, just the dude’s pride when he walked naked into a room with a reporter in it)

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE DUDES?! Anyhow, this show is on every week, and I’ve seen everything from a fat guy try to stab himself (unsucessfully) with a ballpoint pen after being caught to a convicted child molestor MIDGET.

In other, less disgusting news, I am going to Radium Hot Springs this weekend! It’s official! YAY!!! TWO DAYS OFF!

RELAXATION HERE I COME!


June 2006
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