Archive for May, 2006

Something like a Comarison

I bought the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album last week and to my awkward surprise, I noticed a song that bellowed the lyrics, “Something like a phenomenon baby, something like a phenomenon…”

Huh?! Isn’t this an LL Cool J song?! What the hell???

Somehow, one of Ladies Love Cool J’s overtly hump-tastic choruses made it into a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song!!! This is an abomination that will not be tolerated!

Let’s take note of the similarities and differences between the two songs. Won’t you come with me on this special adventure?

While LL thrusts out the chorus of:

“Something like a phenomenon [repeat 8X]
(uh huh) (go ahead daddy),”

which, if you didn’t know, LL wrote himself in a brief burst of inspiration, the more musically apt Yeah Yeah Yeahs sing:

” Something like a phenomena, baby
You’re something like a phenomena
Something like a phenomena, baby
You’re gonna get your body off”

I can listen to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs chorus longer because they feel it necessary to only drive home the “something like a phenomena” line three times, while Cool J proceeds to bang out his similar chorus EIGHT times per chorus while singing over girls moaning “uh huh, go ahead daddy.” I didn’t hear any moaning during the Yeah’s rendition, but perhaps some dry humping overtones could be heard if you play it backwards…

While the Yeah’s prefer a more subtle sexual approach by singing, ” She’ll make you sweat in the water,” we suddenly realize INDEED why Ladies Love Cool J when he brags that he’s the “Taster’s choice, have you nice and moist.” Well LL, I’m not going to argue with someone whose lips are as swollen as Chyna’s labia.

The sexual games don’t end there either! The Yeah’s proceed to proclaim that “You’re gonna get your body off” and LL croons that his lady can “Run your mouth though your legs over the bed baby, work me out.” It’s like a pornographic buffet of language over here!

Both songs then take a chilly turn when the Yeah’s sing that ” It’s cold under the blanket,” LL prefers to take it to the bling level with “I give you two, Italian, ice my whole crew.” Shrinkage, Ahoy!

But wait…LL gets real at the end of the song, professing “you’re worth it playgirl, it’s real in the field, say what you want, but keep your lips sealed.” My my Cool J, what a clever double entendre of the word LIPS. You’re so clever.

Maybe I’ll side with LL and “Keep it jinglin, no more minglin.” Wait, I don’t even know what the fuck that means. No, Cool J, I will, in fact, NOT keep it jinglin. What the hell does it mean to jingle circa 1994? Actually, I also love the line “You beefin, yellin on the cell of my 6.” What the hell does that even mean? LL’s all like, “Yo biatch, quit yo beefin and come let me lick your whole body in under 10 seconds with my huge mouth!”

Thanks LL, you’re really a romantic at heart, but I think I’ll stick with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Ah, fuck it. I’m gonna go listen to The Strokes.

Cats CAN Poop in the Toilet

Steve R. and I had an argument a few weeks ago about cats going to the bathroom in a real toilet. He didn’t believe it could be done.


I heart Wes Anderson

I don’t know what it is

I have been absolutely TERRIBLE about blogging. My apologies! I just wanted to take advantage of my two five-day sets of days off before I’m stuck working seven days a week!
As of late I’ve been trying to read through A Million Little Pieces, which apparently the internet has dubbed, A Million Little Lies. How in the shit did James Frey seriously think he was going to get away with embelishing and completely making up parts of that book?! Why would someone be forced to go through multiple root canals WITHOUT any anethesia?! That is certainly a fishy part of this book…

I got to see Death Cab for Cutie and Franz Ferdinand last week. Death Cab I could have done without, but holy shit did Franz rock the place down! A drum solo with around 4 dudes playing the same set of drums?! Magic. We had seats that were pretty far away from the action, but it was nice to leave a concert not aching from having to stand on my toes to see the act.

Joel Plaskett is coming to town soon, I think I might go see him play.

I am currently referring to my cat as “Glamour cat” because I put a sparkly collar on her. She is ready to party.

I went to this website to see if I could find a japanese pen pal and all I got was a bunch of messages from dirty 40 year old men. Fuck. That.

I was also thinking of getting a cherry blossom tattoo after I come back form Japan….we’ll see though.

My cat slapped me with her paw last night when I was sleeping. So funny.

I start a new full-time job tomorrow (which I will not name because we all know the shit that flew last time on that one) which means I’ll be working seven days a week for a little while. I think I may have to quit my part-time job eventually, but we’ll see how this goes. The hillarious thing is that i don’t know what my new job title is…actually all I really know is that I have to show up at 9am tomorrow, and I’ve been having trouble getting up before 10am! RUH-ROH!

My apartment is coming together nicely! When my batteries are charged in the old digital camera I’ll post some shots!

I cleaned my yard the other day with Steve and I think we got around 6 bags of trash/dirty old leaves! WTF?! how does someone get their damage deposit back when it looks like a dirty hobo exploded on the lawn???

My mom got me a porch swing as a ridiculously early birthday gift! Too bad it’s so fucking windy outside today I can hardly walk!

I’ve been playing a game at work lately that I like to call “Poop or Food.” What is this exciting game you ask?! Well my friends, sometimes it gets difficult at the hospital telling the difference between the smell of shit and food. Sometimes I wonder when I’m smelling something that COULD be food, whether it’s just poop. Some meals and feces smell strikingly similar…

That’s it for now! Bye!

May 2006
28293031 collective fashion consciousness.